No answering "go ahead and go they might be nice and you migh become friends" thats a Cop Out Answer I want to know how to politely get out of going to a party you've been invited to where someone you dont like has also been invited as well. Just want to know
2007-01-31 11:50:36 · 20 answers · asked by gerbil31603 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It not all about me. And I am grown up. I was trying to find a way to avoid a situation where I know there may be conflict.Sure a host or hostess has the right to invite whoever they want but somebody also have a right not to be there if they dont want to be there. Not going to a party because someone's there you dont like theres nothing wrong with that and it doesent make you immature.I just want to know what to do in that situation is all. Jeeze Louis!
2007-01-31 15:38:18 · update #1
I would just tell the host/hostess that something came up in the family & you can't attend. I don't think the inviter should be put in the position of "If you invite so-and-so, I won't come."
2007-01-31 13:32:30 · answer #1 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the party. If it's a big gathering and you can avoid that person, then that might work. I've used that approach before with success. Sometimes going and just not staying a long time can keep the peace.
If that won't work because it's a small gathering or this person thinks they're your best friend and is likely to track you down and make you crazy, call the host and tell them truth. Otherwise, they'll speculate and might get their feelings hurt by assuming the wrong thing. And they'll know not to invite the two of you to the same parties in the future.
2007-01-31 12:08:38 · answer #2 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've already accepted, the only polite way to get out of it is to pretend to be ill. And you must make sure the host never finds out you're not. Which means you can't go out at all. Harsh, I know. But this is an etiquette forum, and the polite thing isn't always the easiest thing.
Your alternative is to go to the party and not speak to this person. Contrary to popular belief, it's not rude to avoid people, even at parties. Just don't tell anyone why (at least not loudly, or with any curse words).
2007-01-31 12:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest a combination of the first two answers. First, just tell the host/hostess that you have a previous engagement on the day of the party. If the person hosting the party tries to prod or convince you to go, then you might just simply want to tell them that you don't prefer to be around that person you don't like and that's why you don't want to go to the party. The host/hostess shouldn't try to make you feel bad for not going just because you don't like someone. If they do try to make you feel bad, then they weren't worth partying with anyway. Hope I was helpful.
2007-01-31 12:01:09 · answer #4 · answered by puckfreak02 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If I get to a gathering and find that someone I don't care for is there, I avoid them. If that person is making the gathering hell for you , find the host and politely say " thank you I've had a wonderful evening. I'm sorry to leave so soon but, I have work/school/ something more important to do."
2007-01-31 12:14:26 · answer #5 · answered by Charnal_Void 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are two choices in the matter. Are you wanting to simply not attend or are you wanting to not attend AND make sure everyone knows why?
The most dignified and gracious way is to inform the hosts that you are not feeling well enough to attend.
If you are hoping to express your displeasure and indignation because someone has dared to invite someone whom you dislike to the same social function as you, blast your hosts for their temerity. Then inform the offending invitée that they are the reason you're not going to be there. And if you're really into drama, telephone everyone else on the guest list and launch a tirade against the hosts and the undesirable.
2007-01-31 12:00:03 · answer #6 · answered by castle h 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just tell them exactly what you feel. Say something like: "I'm sorry, but I'm really not comfortable being around so and so, I'll sit this one out. Maybe we can get together and do something later instead?"
If it's going to be a big party though, I would still go. You should be able to avoid that person. If they come up to you, just make up an excuse and walk away.
2007-01-31 12:05:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well since it appears that life has to be all about you, why not simply call and say you are not feeling well. The hostess has the right to invite who they want and you have the same right when you host a party. My real answer is grow up and get over it, no one asked you to go home with them.............
2007-01-31 13:35:05 · answer #8 · answered by kimballama 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Honesty is the best policy. Tell the host or hostess that you don't geet along with so and so and prefer not to be a round them, but in such a way that they do't think they need to choose between you two.
2007-01-31 11:59:06 · answer #9 · answered by purple 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This has actually happened to me. I tell the party giver this "If you invite them I am not coming!" If they pick them over you, I guess now you'll know where you stand. This might not be polite but I don't think there is a polite way to put it. Unless you say it politely.
It sucks when family or friends are divided.
2007-01-31 11:57:48 · answer #10 · answered by Tiger Crane Master 3 · 4⤊ 2⤋