Can someone?

Question

I have been sick all day. :(

Will someone tell me a few jokes to help me feel better + Laugh??

Answer 1

There's a call at the hospital emergency ward.

Man - "Help me! My wife is having a baby. The contractions are two minutes apart we might not have time to make it to the hospital!
What should I do?"

Nurse - "Is this her first child?"

Man - "No! This is her husband, you idiot!"

Answer 2

Little old Mr. Ravelli is on his front stoop, barbequeing a chicken on a manual rotisserie. A drunk comes walking along and says, "Hey, man the music stopped, and your monkey's on fire."


A man walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing only underwear
made of Saran Wrap.

The psychiatrist says, "Well...I can clearly see your nuts



http://www.mikescomputerinfo.com/inteltest.htm

Answer 3

I don't have time for these questions. I just found out that my girlfriend is so easy a caveman could do her.

Answer 4

A blonde is trapped in a room in her house because there is a fire. She dials 911 and is screaming at the operator theres a fire and she needs help, so the operator is asking her to calm down and she asks her how to get there. The blonde replies " WELL DUH BIG RED TRUCK!!".

Answer 5

Okay, a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest says,"Hey, did you hear the one about us??!"

Answer 6

Person1:will you remember me in a day?person2:yes.Person1:will you remember me in a week?person2:sure.Person1:Will you remember me im a month?person2:yeah.person1;will you remember me in two years?three years?4?5?Person2:yes,yes,yes,yes,Duh!Person1: knock knock.person2:who's there?Person 1:See you forgot me already!!!
Do ya like it?

Answer 7

no

Answer 8

NO, I AM NOT A GOOD COMEDIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!