Hey everybody who's reading this, I just want to thank you for taking time out of your daily life to give some advise to me.
Well I was with this girl (Jessica) back in 2003 and she ended up moving in with me because her parents didn't like me and they ended up moving away down to another town so things were good until July 1st 2004 when her parents called the cops and they took her back. I wasn't able to see her until she was 18.. I waited for her for 2 years and then this last April of 2006 me and her got back into contact we talked on the phone and then started hanging out as friends, well then in June we ended up dating again. She ended up moving in with me again and everytime she would go visit her family I would get a little worried and think or say something about them brainwashing you to not come back or break up with me. Well after the first couple times of her going with her family and then coming back to me I stopped saying stuff like that, I thought everything was good and all but then December 19th i left to a friends and she didnt come with me because she said she wasnt feeling good, well when i got back home she had left to her family and left a note saying how she can't turst me and she can't speak her mind and be honest because she's afraid of what i might do or say but she had also said she loves me and she wants to work this relationship out. Anyways she ended up writing me through e-mail and myspace and then she called me and she came back up we talked things over and got back together I thought things were fine. So January 2nd she was going back to her family because she was now living there and just visiting me, and she was gonna come up Firday.. Instead she starts avoiding me until that Saturday she wrote me and we talked online and she was saying she wants to be friends and go slow and then get back together; she also said that I'm the only man in her life first and foremost so we talk online and then on the phone and then on my birthday January 17th she came up and we talked ended up getting back together but going slow, like not rushing into anything and stuff.. But now we're not together again she wants to be friends and then maybe get back with me she said to one of my friends that there is no sparks there between me and her. I honestly don't want to lose her I've been through so much for her and I'd do anything for her.. She means the world to me and I just want her happy but I want her with me and I'm so scared that I will lose her to somebody, please help me give me advise on how to get her back. And be the man I need to be so she feels for me again. She says she loves and cares about me but sometimes it doesn't seem that way, thanks for reading this; please help me.. She is everything and more to me.
2007-01-31 11:45:00 · 14 answers · asked by evolutiondamngood 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Never try to get someone back, if you love her, if you truly love her, you let her go, you let time take her and guide her in life... if you are not ready to let go yet, then let her know, but don't hold her back... this will only make her run.
They say 'if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be...', but they had forgotten that, to be something or to have something, it is always to be at that time, at that place... you are probably not in the right time to be with her.
This might not be the right time in your life, but time never dies, so let time take you through your journey of life and let time teach you what you need to learn...
Because time might bring you back to her one day, when 'time' thinks that it is the right time.
2007-01-31 12:01:26 · answer #1 · answered by calv83luc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats quite a tough one J, at the end of the day I understand that you love this girl and that you have been through two years of hell waiting for her, I also get that it's a difficult situation considering her parents don't like you. You can't push too hard this young lady is very impresionable at the moment and any thing that you say has the possibility of coming out or being understood completely out of context, also by pushing too hard you might just scare her away. Try sitting down and talking to her explaining that you do want to be with her and that you love her, explain to her that you will always be there for her and that you will wait for her if that is some thing she wants (but you should also know that you can't wait for too long because you might miss some one out there even more perfect for you, I know thats a difficult statement to accept because all you are thinking is that how can some one be more perfect for me than the woman I love, but it does happen, I know from experiance) also try to get along with her family, so that they see you in a different light, there obviously something they are missing, because no family would want there daughter to be unhappy and you obviously love her very much, so try to show them that you are a decent guy and that you would never in world hurt their daughter, if they see you differently they might be able to accept you into their family in the long run and they would also stop giving their daughter problems about being with you and coming to see you, or even living with you. Take time out to show them how serious you are about their daughter happiness. She said she loves and cares about you, so maybe it's also time to let go, ever hear the saying if you free it and it comes back to you it's yours forever, if it doesn't it never was... Take a time out for yourself as well cause this is enough to give any man a nervous breakdown, sort through your own emotions and thoughts... I wish you the best of luck...
2007-01-31 12:07:25 · answer #2 · answered by Rusty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a roller coaster ride you have been on.
Lets see.....If she is willing to talk to you, then sit her down and be as open and honest as you possibly can. Tell her that what you want is to be with her. Tell her your plans for a future. Tell her everything she wants to know. During this, she should be telling you what she wants and what her future plans are. Hopefully, the two of you will agree that you want to be together.
If she is saying she loves you, then you have a chance of working this out. But both of you have to be open and honest enough to be specific. She sounds like she may have trust issues with you.....why is this? Reassure her in this area.
Tell her how serious you are about her being a part of your life and you being a part of hers.
I think the two of you have something, but with all the back and forth that has been going on, there is definately a problem somewhere. Get to the bottom of it and then you can move forward.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-31 12:00:25 · answer #3 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you let it go and it comes back to you then it's yours to keep...I've been in your shoes and I have also been that "girl". Just let it be don't push for more then she is willing to give and don't ask to get anything in return. I'm not saying it's not going to work out for you, but don't keep putting your heart into something that isn't even there to start with. Only time will tell if you two are meant to be and if not then there is someone out there ten times better for you.
2007-01-31 11:57:18 · answer #4 · answered by Spautumn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont get ahead of yourself take it baby steps at a time give her what she wants because its what she feels and you cant change that just give her that slow moving and hopefully it will work out remember its communication and time if she see like she doesnt trust you gain her trust show her with you actions dont just get ahead of yourself that will just put more pressure on yourself and it will overwhelm you if this is what she wants this is what you need to do if its never done then it will never happend but take your time also "baby steps" its going to have to take alot of patience believe me im still waiting for my girl to come around... and i gave what she wanted and slowly she is coming around to her senses just be there for her just dont over do it also there is a limit...
hope you have a happy life no matter what happens....
2007-01-31 11:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by xX-steve-o-Xx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, i think u should give her some space. then i think you should try to focus on your own life for a while instead of focusing on hers. I also think that u should try to play hard to get. because this girl is kindoff taking you for granted, or so it seems like it to me. I also think that you should try to settle things with her parents. Maybe she is having such a hard time seeing you because her parents do not encourage her. if u r emotionaly dependent on her then you should try to not be so emotionaly dependent on her because from what i can tell she is getting alot of pressure at home and if she comes to see you and you also lay out all your problems on her then maybe she feels like she just cant handle it and it is too much for her. You should give her time because maybe she is trying to figure out who she is and she needs space from you and her family to decide who she is and what she wants. you should give her some time and then if she breaks up with you again after this then i think you should move on...you cant run around her and wait for her forever
2007-01-31 12:01:40 · answer #6 · answered by pinkpockadotz333 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it seems like her family has a big impact on what she does so i think u need to get her family to like u and then ask her what she wants from u how she wants u to be then try to be that but maybe shes scared of loving u foreal and if she is help her love u u. because u sound like a great bf so just try to work it out
2007-01-31 11:56:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your story is very very long,
I will say that she is young and very confuse and don't know yet what she want in live.
it all up to you now, b/c she comes and goes, if you think you can deal with that then good if not then u can see if u can move on from this relationship.
THERE IS NOTHING I CAN SAY HERE, I WON'T TELL YOU TO LEAVE HER OR STAY WITH HER, but u know her and see how her behavor is effecting u and from there u can make your decision.
good luck, it hardt when you love someone but i am sure with time, u will know what to do.
2007-01-31 11:59:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on, dear! If you can be friends, be friends. If not, just friends, move on. Sounds like she's really immature and can't make these types of decisions yet and/or is either yanking your chain to keep you around as a backup plan.
2007-01-31 11:53:53 · answer #9 · answered by CBM79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a long post. I did read it though, and I think you need to move on. She is young and unsure of what she wants. That kind of drama would drive me crazy. Let her go and let her grow up.
2007-01-31 11:58:30 · answer #10 · answered by DEENIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋