is it just about sex for him? honest opinions required!?

Question

Hi,

Ive been with an older man for 2months. We get on well, and fit into each others lives well, we spend most weekends together.

Sex is great and he thinks its an important aspect of a relationship at the begining. Im quite happy to meet this need but as im sure u can undertand dont want to be used! This guy says I have nothing to worry about and as its early days i guess i shouldnt be worried. He does do lovely things for me but part of me worries as i feel ive been used before.

We have done the meet the parents thing and he does talk about us in future context! Am i just worrying about nothing??

Answer 1

Sounds like you are indeed worrying unnecessarily. It's good to be a little apprehensive about a relationship, but you should not get yourself into negative thinking.

After all, we can never judge anyone no matter how hard we think and try to read between the lines. So why not give the best we can and try make the relationship a success ?

And about being sexually used, there is again not much you - as a woman - can do. Men demand sex at full throttle even in a relationship as young as yours. For a woman, sex is not such a strong parameter in a relationship, but for a man it is. You need to be really smart to maintain a distance yet not hurt your man. Otherwise, you will have to give him as much as he wants. This is where most of the complications arise and chances of a woman being just used can not be overruled.

But no woman can succeed in a relationship if she fears being used. Woman is always at the receiving end if she yearns for a man. But being positive brings about miracles. So just try it !

Wish you a great life ahead.!

Answer 2

Think you have been hit with pretty hard answers and lots of postings have been very judgemental. I personally am old fashioned about sex but know I am in the minority (at least in UK). and early sexual relationships happen in the real world. Problem I imagine is the fact that you have to ask the question you have, something must be trigerring off this thought? However, after 2 months you wouldn't expect him to make any further committment to you than he has. If you really like him carry on enjoying the times you are together and sooner or later it will become clear if it is just about sex for him. I would say the signs he has shown would suggest it wasn't. Just be CAREFUL don't let him talk you in to unprotected sex.

Answer 3

Perhaps you are, but only time will tell. But honestly alot of the time for men it is about sex, they'll tell you what you want to hear and probably do the little gesture bits as and when required, but yes it is usually all about sex for them. It always is more important to the man. Women are too polite (I think!)
You can either accept that and take the good while it's going, or you can never live. Take the relationship as far as you can and want to and if you both make each other happy in the meantime, then well done.

Answer 4

if u think he is only using u 4 sex then why dont u take a step back confront him again with your feelings tell him how u feel and tell him u want 2 stop having sex until u feel u can trust him more. if the man truly loves u he will respect what u say 2 him if he doesnt love u then he will more than likely leave your life and find some1 else 2 give him sex but then at least you will no the truth. i no it sounds harsh imposing a sex ban but it might put your mind at ease as 2 his intentions

Answer 5

Depends, in relationships people tend to have sex more than later on, statistically, simply because there is more lust involved earlier in a relationship.

I think that aslong as he is not forcing you to have sex and you both want it at the same time then thats fine.

If you dont want to have sex when he asks then say no and see how he reacts. His reaction will tell you exactly whether you are being used or not.

Answer 6

Firstly you have to realise that any older man will have a relationship such as yours for really just one thing. Sex.
All the time he is doing what he wants and you are letting him, everything will be OK. Meeting the parents fits in nicely with the equation. Gains your trust...He does'nt want you, he just
wants satisfaction for his D*ck, and your supplying that.
Dump him as soon as possible and get a real relationship. Use what you have learnt from this ******** and use it on your soulmate. We'll never meet, but you will thank me one day if this is a real question...

Answer 7

Ignore the rest of the sanctimonious idiots on here. It's early days so why don't you have some fun. If you're not happy walk away, its dead simple but lifes too short to be worrying about the future that early on.

Answer 8

You should ignore the sad gits on here and just enjoy yourself!!
Life is too short for worrying girl. Enjoy life!!
Does he make you happy??
Do you feel good when your with him??
As long as your happy that's all that matters.
If your not then fcuk him off!!
After 16 unhappy years(with my children's dad).I met a wonderfull, kind, pleasure giving!!! beautiful man who i absolutely truly love and adore. So what that he,s 10 years older than me.
He makes me SPARKLE!!!!
What ever you do
Good luck
XXXXXXXX

Answer 9

well i personally think that sex shouldn't be the most important thing in a relationship it should be built on friendship and trust, but it is something that both partners have to want and enjoy. if your really not sure then you should cool off that side of the relationship and see how he reacts and make your decision based on that.

Answer 10

youthful adult adult males desire it each and all of the time, on a daily basis, various cases an afternoon, yet that doesn't advise that they could be appealing in such frequency. there is something to be suggested for self administration. a guy can in all threat carry out on a daily basis up till with regard to the age of 40 (not that they could). As adult adult males age, their testosterone stages initiate dropping, so it takes longer for the "weapon to reload". by 50 it could take some days between "activities". Marriages could be in keeping with each little thing yet intercourse through fact ultimately the intercourse is going.