My husband and I agreed that my Mom and Sister would be in the delivery room when I give birth. Now all of the sudden he is saying that he thinks it is unfair that my family gets to be in the room and not his. Should he get to have his family in the room if I don't feel comfortable with it?
2007-01-31 10:11:52 · 30 answers · asked by autumalena 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
To be more specific, he wants his Mom and Sister in the delivery room.
I like his Mom and Sister both, but I am not that close to them at all.
2007-01-31 10:29:25 · update #1
It's your body, your choice. Do what makes you feel the most comfortable. It is not his privates that will be exposed to everyone in the room, it is yours!!
2007-01-31 13:50:54 · answer #1 · answered by sweet_pea_29 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely NOT!!! Since you are the one giving birth, you get to chose who is in there, and who is not. Giving birth is a very personal experience, only to be shared with people you are extremely comfortable with. You are going to say and do things that you would not normally do, and if someone is in the room with you that you are not comfortable with, you are not going to be relaxed enough, and you may actually have difficulty with your delivery because of it! If it were me, I would say that they can come and visit, but as soon as you request it, they need to leave. You could even speak to the nurse ahead of time before they even get there. Believe me, they don't have any problem telling people to get out!!!
2007-01-31 10:23:11 · answer #2 · answered by FLmom3 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with the birth of my first child. Me and my husband were young parents (17 & 18) and were living at his parents house, so his mom thought she was entitled to be in the delivery room. I hated it and was very uncomfortable. When it came time to have my second baby she had no desire to be in there. She had adopted her 2 kids and my labor and delivery was the first she had ever experienced and to be honest I think all the screaming and crying from labor and trying to push a baby out with out an epidural freaked her out. Put your foot down. Its YOUR BODY. If you dont want them in ther then dont let them.
2007-01-31 15:36:18 · answer #3 · answered by Luv_My_Baby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is unfair is that he is not considering your feelings. Maybe he should ask himself the question, how would he feel if all your family watched him have a vasectomy? Additionally, too many people in the delivery room only get in the way of the Dr. and nurses trying to care for you and your baby. Hope all goes well for you and your newborn.
2007-01-31 10:32:01 · answer #4 · answered by 1dayatatime 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby is no easy task and you need to be as relaxed and comfy as possible. Explain to your husband that while you respect your inlaws, you just aren't comfortable with the idea of them being in the delivery room. Talk to him and try to reach a compromise such as videotaping the birth, so that your inlaws can see the birth of the baby, but so that the difficult times and your private areas can stay private.
2007-01-31 10:21:06 · answer #5 · answered by < Roger That > 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! You will be the one giving birth, the people you choose to have in the delivery room will be there to support you and make your laboring and giving birth less stressful FOR YOU! can you picture your mother in law placing cool cloths on your forehead whilst your pushing a baby out of your girl bits??? I WOULD NOT ALLOW IT!
Tell him that its your body that will be exposed, it will be you who's going through the pain and doing all the hard work!
YOU have a right to take in with you whomever you choose, but I really don't think your partner should bring HIS family, its not a competition, its not about being fair, ITS ALL ABOUT YOU AND MAKING YOU FEEL AS COMFORTABLE AND AS STRESS FREE AS POSSIBLE!
(men like this make me mad....sorry)
2007-01-31 10:20:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ummm... no...no...no!
I would not let anyone even on the hospital grounds while I was in labor.
You aren't there to entertain people, you are there to give birth. Tell him he can call them once the baby arrives. I think since it's your body that will be exposed and you doing all the work YOU get to decide!
This is not a good time to worry about what's fair! You can fight those battles when the baby is here.
If you can't be comfortable and focused in labor it's only going to make things worse.
If all else fails tell the hospital staff who can and can't be in the room. They will help keep your wishes in check!
Good luck! I would fight this battle if I were you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-31 14:17:31 · answer #7 · answered by Amanda K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the one giving birth, its up to the both of you but he needs to respect the fact that you may not feel comfortable with his family watching, its you body parts, and the baby will be coming out of you, not every woman feels ok with other people watching this, so if you say no to his family members being there then he should respect that, they can always wait in the waiting room untill after the baby is born, then come into to see you and the baby,, i dont blame you for feeling uncomfortable about his family being there during labour, i would feel the same way.. good luck
2007-01-31 10:29:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't let them in if you don't feel comfy with it. Ask him how he would feel about your family watching him get a vasectomy, or a circumcision. You have to draw a line somewhere, and this is the place. I'm the type of guy who does not believe in videotaping a birth and then showing it to everybody. I totally agree with Faith S. when she says the nurses will kick everybody out. That is a great way to have your privacy, and not be the bad guy. They do it all the time. BTW, congratulations on a new baby.
2007-01-31 10:24:16 · answer #9 · answered by johN p. aka-Hey you. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are the one that needs to be comfortable when you are having your child. If your family would make you more comfortable, then have them in the delivery room.
2007-01-31 10:27:06 · answer #10 · answered by rena_813 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. It is your body that is going to be exposed and if you are comfortable with your mom and your sister being in the room then they should be. But you don't have to have people you are not comfortable with being in the room. I would tell your husband that you are going to be naked, at least from the waist down, and are not comfortable with his family seeing you that way. He needs to understand. If you are comfortable with it, tell him that you don't mind them coming in as soon as the baby is born and you are covered. It's okay that you feel that way.
2007-01-31 10:19:02 · answer #11 · answered by niccichick 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋