I need to know how to prepare for a Hearing in Modification of Visitation with my sons that the judge has appt

Question

I put the motion in on their father who has custody and I want my children more. Just needing to know how to prepare myself for this hearing so my chances are better. Neither of us is using an attorney and his new wife is very hateful in her involvement of not letting me have them more.

Answer 1

Read your state laws.
Prepare a concise statement with your reasoning.
Do not put down the other parent. IF he is being abusive/drug addicted, that kind of thing, bring it up without venom in your voice.
Be polite when you get there.
Dress professionally.

If you can afford a lawyer, get one. If you can't, the more you read about your own state's family law / code, the better prepared you will be.

If he has custody because your life was not suitable for the kids at one point (I don't know if it was or wasn't... just touching on some common points) then be prepared to describe what you've done to improve those points. (Got a job / place to live / finished rehab / took parenting classes)

If he has custody just because that was what you agreed on at first just be polite and calm. Explain how much you miss your kids and how you would like to be a bigger part of their lives.

Always take the higher road. Remember the judge only has a short amount of time to determine what is in the best interest of the kids. It's a hard job with a lot riding on it. The better impression you can make, the easier you can make the judges job, the better your chances of being seen in a favorable light.

A parent willing to do what's in the best interests of the children will be looked on favorably. A parent taking a hard line will not. A parent who can deal with the other parent in a professional business like manner instead of making demands / fighting will be viewed favorably.

That's my advice, for what it's worth. Good luck!

Answer 2

The judge will want to know your motives for wanting to see your children more (bad answer: to get more child support, etc...) and will go over your personal situation. Are you gainfully employed, will you be able to rpovide for your children if you have them more, what kind of accomondations will you have for them (if they are far apart in age or if there is more than two of them, you may be required to have more than one room for them. What about their school...how will you get them back and forth to school. Who will care for them when you ahve to work? What were the special situations that occurred that caused your husband to have full custody while you have only visitation (this is unusual, because more often than not the judge will place the kids with their mother). Has anything changed to improve any of the circumstances that led to this decision.

As far as the wife goes, she not only does not have a say in the matter, but if you can show the judge that she is being hateful towards you and possible in front of your children, then she is interfering with your relationship with your children and you can request that the judge orders all of you to undergo a "parenting through divorce" type class. These are classes that are becoming more and more mandatory throughout the US and provide guidance/teaching to husbands & wives who are divorcing and have children. They teach the parents not to use the children as weapons, not to bad mouth each other in front of their children and how to behave in a manner that is the most beneficial for the kids. If you ask the judge about this and ask for all of you (not just the stepmom), this will show maturity on your part (not just an attack on this woman), and will ulitmately help your kids adjust to life in a divorced family.

Answer 3

1 get an attorney
2-keep good records
3 keep good relationship with Ex and wife
They are feeling threatened
4 whos important here? The child? or you guys feelings?
Who are the adults? Be nice no matter what!!!

Answer 4

you should have a lawyer... you will likely not get anymore than what you have without a lawyer