Shes failing school and creating a stressful environment at home. Her favorite saying is i dont care.I cant afford boarding school. I would love to know if there was a lowcost program that i could enroll her in that would instill some fear in her, or any other suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
2007-01-31 10:05:27 · 8 answers · asked by jharwood121580 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
aaaaaaaaaaa
2007-02-01 08:06:20 · update #1
Let me clarify: By saying " instill fear" i mean simply to make her understand that she is not the boss, and stop making her mother cry. I dont mean beat the hell out of her, i was abused as a child and strongly disagree with spanking. I do however believe in talking it out , and HAVE tried. Im not an idiot, im just out of options. She says "I dont care" about bad grades, the hurt she causes others, and also about the methods of punishment weve used as of so far (grounding, taking away priveledges, extra chores, if you can name it, ive done it.)
2007-02-01 08:15:52 · update #2
Nanny 911!!
2007-01-31 10:10:53 · answer #1 · answered by Ehmmmmma 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You would like to instill fear in her. She is telling you that she doesn't care. Some specifics are in order here. Why would you want to instill fear in a kid? And why wouldn't she care? See if you can find out some things like this.
If she's thirteen, she's normal, though I'm not certain that you are, necessarily. Fear is a very bad policy, and if it fails, which it clearly has, then you're left with nothing.
You are stuck with each other for the time being, and if you can't find some common ground, you'll need some outside help. Examine yourselves and see if there's anything resembling love in this relationship. That's defined as a relationship in which you'll accept her as your daughter even if she's driving you nuts, and she'll accept you as her parent, ditto.
If you find yourself making a bargain in which you'll love her if she does what you want, then you're both essentially out of luck; it won't get any better because you've messed up the definition of love, and it generally can't be learned, only inherited.
2007-01-31 10:23:21 · answer #2 · answered by 2n2222 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"that would instill some fear in her" sounds like it's you that needs the help. If you've ever watched any of these parenting programs that are doing the rounds its all about building a safe and loving environment for kids. Giving them something to live for, making their lives proactive. Spend some time with her so she associates you with happiness and fun. TALK to her would be my piece of advice, treat her like an adult.
2007-01-31 10:16:02 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does she have difficulty with school, reading? I have dyslexia in my family. It doesn't hit everyone, but it randomly hits the children, girls as much as boys. To avoid homework, is to tell the parent that they left it at school, and tell the teacher, I left it at home. Anything to avoid the stress of trying to complete a project. You didn't state age, but if she has had trouble with school throughout, then this could be just her way of avoiding the situation. They become very good at that. Try having her tested for learning disabilities. If it is only behavior, might still want to consult a doctor for advice, as she could be experiencing hormonal imbalance which he might be able to help. Good luck and its tough for a parent to stand by and feel helpless.
2007-01-31 10:18:30 · answer #4 · answered by flower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I can speak from being that type of kid several years ago.....my mom would spend her time just yelling stuff instead of talking to me....maybe she needs someone to talk to maybe she is just venting...maybe a counselor could help.....keep trying to find out what is wrong,talk and try to understand her...one day she will understand :)
2007-01-31 10:13:25 · answer #5 · answered by Sweetheart 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried family counseling to find out what is going on with your daughter. Sometimes when kids act out or continuously misbehave it is because they are in need of attention and don't know how to say it.
2007-01-31 10:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by wonderingwifenga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think asking people on this website is your best bet but there on people you can ask like if she has a school council-er
2007-01-31 10:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
spare the rod and spoil the child....
2007-01-31 10:13:28 · answer #8 · answered by Clive Roland 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋