I have a dilemna. I am an unbabtized publisher, but before I came one I dating this guy, who was not a witness, that made my life spiral out of control. The problem was, I fell in love with him. Now, 4 months later, he keeps popping back into my life, and I'm afraid that I'm falling in love with him again, even though I know it's wrong. I'm afraid to tell the elders this, but I just need advice, how can I get him out of my life before my life spirals out of control again?
2007-01-31 09:53:15 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
If the guy does not love and apply the Bible in his life, why do you think you will have a happy marriage? If he is causing your life to be out of control, then it is up to you if you want to be put in that situation. I know one female Witness who although she love the non-Witness guy very much, she decided to leave and go somewhere else where the guy won't be able to find him. It hurt her so much, but after a lot of praying and Bible study, she started to heal. She's now happily married with a Witness and she learned that the old boyfriend got married as well and was giving the wife a lot of hard times. The Bible states in Mat 5:30 "Also, if your right hand is making you stumble, cut it off and throw it away from you".
2007-02-01 02:00:20 · answer #1 · answered by trustdell1 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are right, You do have quite the dilemma.
First, please realise that the "help" you might get on such a venue as Y!A may not be the kind you want. Remember, the net is a place of annonimity. I tell people my name, age, status in the congregation, almost everything. Sadly, some automaticly believe me. For all they know I could be the opposite of what/who I purport to be.
As to the BF. One suggestion I was given years ago often works wonders. Witness to this person. Often we tell others how we have changed, grown, bettered ourselves. Words are one thing, but, when people see us living the life we preach of they begin to see the new us. If he really wants to be with you and really wants what is best for you, he will either encourage you to keep going, and probably lose interest in you, or he will want to know why you have changed.
Please remember, it is VERY easy to fall into old habits. What ever you do, do not put yourself in compromising positions. If you 2 need to talk, do so in public venue. Avoid situations that will draw you towards fornication.
Please talk with the one you are studying with, and other older sisters. They know you, and will be able to help you through this.
If BF says he wants to know Jehovah, find a BROTHER to study with him. It will help to shed light on the intents of all involved parties. Hope things work out, and hope one day to call you sister.
2007-01-31 18:24:15 · answer #2 · answered by Ish Var Lan Salinger 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Older sisters in the congregation can be an invaluable source of help and comfort. They are also less threatening to approach than the elders. Your story is very common and it is likely that at least one of the mature sisters in your congregation has fallen for someone unsuitable. I did, so I know.
If you are a minor and your parents are JW, you should bring your problem to them.
As a previous poster pointed out, Y!A! is not the best place to seek out help of this nature. There are many apostates posing as Witnesses on this site, so be careful!
2007-02-01 09:43:35 · answer #3 · answered by rachely1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I grew up as a witness. I got baptized in tenth grade and when I was a senior in high school I fell in love with someone I worked with. I ended up getting disfellowshipped and marrying him. We have been married for about 7 years. I was reinstated about 4 years ago. We have two kids. Although I love my husband and children dearly, if given the chance I wouldn't do it over again. It is extremely difficult living in a religiously divided household. A lot of heartache. Especially with children. Your (boy) friend grew up celebrating birthdays and holidays and will want his children to do so also. Please do not get involved with this person. You will only regret it later. Don't you think he has come back into your life now for a reason, like tempting you to do wrong. I'm not trying to preach to you because I am far from perfect. I'm only trying to tell you my first hand experience with it. You need to tell someone now because you can't handle this alone. You can't rely on yourself because your heart is treacherous. God provided help for you within the congregation.
If you haven't done anything wrong, why are you afraid to tell the elders?
2007-01-31 13:32:36 · answer #4 · answered by Mom of Three 6 · 4⤊ 1⤋
First, recognize that what you are dealing with is common in the world. As a cab driver, I hear this story frequently, which is why my young customers call me Papa Bear. Prayer is a good idea, but you also might consider asking one of the elders to go with you to speak to this young man and explain in plain language that he is not benefiting you and your goals in life.
From this, two things will happen, he will get the point, and head off into less greener fields, or he may decide it's time to turn his life around, and the Elder can help him with that.
A non-JW book I recommend to young women like youself is 10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives By Dr. Laura Schlessinger.
2007-01-31 13:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
the “gifts in men” are given with a view to “the building up of the body of the Christ.” (Ephesians 4:12) Paul here employs a figure of speech. “Building up” calls to mind construction, and “the body of the Christ” refers to people—the members of the anointed Christian congregation. (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:23, 29, 30) Elders need to help their brothers to grow strong spiritually. Their objective is ‘to build up and not to tear down’ the flock. (2 Corinthians 10:8) The key to building up the flock is love, for “love builds up.”—1 Corinthians 8:1.
13 One facet of love that helps elders to build up the flock is empathy. To be empathetic means to feel for others—to identify with their thoughts and feelings, considering their limitations. (1 Peter 3:8) Why is it important for elders to have empathy? Above all because Jehovah—the one who gives the “gifts in men”—is a God of empathy. When his servants are suffering or in pain, he feels for them. (Exodus 3:7; Isaiah 63:9) He is considerate of their limitations. (Psalm 103:14)
Remeber do not become unevenly yoked
2007-01-31 10:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by Janos 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Destiny has a handle on it,and you need to get right to it ,remember Satin is like a raging lion and lions move deliberately and fast especially when they know they have a weakened victim.
2007-01-31 13:58:00 · answer #7 · answered by hunter 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
PRAY!!!!!
If you are sincere in your desire to be away from him, then you should seek out the help of the elders.
Also, older sisters in the congregation can be of encouragement to you.
2007-01-31 11:28:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋