I have a good friend of mine who is kind enough to occasionally invite my family over to her house for dinner (with her family). So, I will usually be the one that brings a dessert over (like pie). When it's time for dessert my friend will bring the pie over to the table but not cut into it. So then the dessert just sits there until I offer to cut and serve the slices to all of the guests. I do not mind doing this, but when I am the hostess of a party, I will usually do the slicing and serving. Which is the proper way? Your help is greatly appreciated.
2007-01-31 09:49:38 · 11 answers · asked by Tacymevol 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
There isn't a hard and fast rule about this. The hostess may feel less than confident about serving a pie (breaking pieces etc), so want you to do it. Whereas at your own home, you may enjoy being the server. A good question to ask next time, is "Hi, Mary, I brought pie for dessert this time. Would you like to serve it, or shall I serve tonight?". You can also ask a similar question in your own home, "Thank you jane for bringing brownies for dessert. Would you like to serve them or shall I?" That way you won't have any question about it.
Personally, I think it's gracious that you want to do the right thing.
2007-01-31 09:56:56 · answer #1 · answered by Susan B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would assume the host/hostess would cut up/put a serving spoon in the dessert, as she's the one, y'know, hosting. It makes it look like your dessert is some add-on, which detracts from the festive, generous nature of a gift. I'm not sure what the rationale behind having you play hostess for dessert is.
It's weird. Take the pie in the kitchen, or wherever the food is coming from, cut it up, and have it ready for dessert if she won't cut it. Who brings out an uncut pie and has the pie donor serve it?
I find this odd because I've never encountered it. You bring it, she serves it.
2007-01-31 09:57:19 · answer #2 · answered by SlowClap 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Unless the meal is a pot luck, the hostess has already decided upon the menu and as a rule, any food brought has a gift is enjoyed by the hosts later.
In the scenario you described, if your friend brings the pie to the table, then you are certainly free to begin cutting the pie to serve. You are not usurping the hostess'/host's position. Or course if food brought by another guest is brought to the table, you would not dream of touching it.
2007-01-31 13:35:59 · answer #3 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At a formal party the hostess will serve desert, whether she chooses to serve one brought by a guest or one that she has on the menu or both. At an informal gathering either the hostess or the person bringing the desert can serve it.
2007-01-31 09:56:08 · answer #4 · answered by babydoll 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The proper way is for the host or hostess to serve it, but maybe she doesn't know if you want to cut it. Ask her before dinner is served if she'd like to serve dessert. Maybe she doesn't want to!
2007-01-31 09:55:12 · answer #5 · answered by Bryan's Wife 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The hostess should cut & serve it. However, maybe you could cut it before taking it along with you. It would be interesting to see if she serves it. If not, ask her before you go to dinner the next time if she would like you to bring something different.
2007-01-31 13:55:38 · answer #6 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The proper way is to help the host or hostess serve it when they are ready!
2007-01-31 09:52:55 · answer #7 · answered by Ultimate Guitar Hero! 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Typically the hostess would do it, but if she wants you to do it, that's fine. The hostess is in charge and she can delegate if she wants to. She might want you to get the credit for the dessert, which sounds nice to me.
2007-01-31 14:57:01 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no right or wrong way. Just offer to slice it when it's time to eat dessert. She probably prefers that you do it in case she makes a mess of it.
2007-01-31 09:57:59 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The host should do it. The next time, tell her in advance that she should do it.
2007-01-31 13:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋