So, me and my b/f have been together for 4 1/2 years. In that time it has been an ok relationship, but I was one of those stupid girls who left behind all her friends for the guy. I really want to break up and I feel so does he, but we do not know how to move on and start over. I am really self sufficient, successful in my career and have some friends at work. How do you start your life over? Where / how do young single people meet? I don't even want a new relationship right away, just friendships... I just don't want to be lonely. Any advice? Should I move away? I don't want to stay in a relationship out of loneliness.
2007-01-31 09:43:58 · 14 answers · asked by ohpuleeze 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is great that you see that you don't want to be in a relationship just to be in one. GOOD FOR YOU!! You need to make sure that you like yourself, that your are ok with being alone--alone and lonely are two completely different things. Love yourself and loneliness won't be an issue. Take the first step in asking one of your friends from work out to dinner--either make them dinner or go out. You are going to have to make the effort to get the friends back, or get new ones. Go to a club. Go to your local church and find out what's what---dinners, bazar's etc--you don't have to be a religious fanatic to meet decent people. Volunteer at a shelter, good will, or the like. You will be fine. Just remember to keep you head up, be proud you are successful and make sure that you leave the relationship as soon as you can especially if you truly feel the way you do. Communicate that to him and get out, start your life over with all the vim and vigor that you can. Good Luck!!!!
2007-01-31 09:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's pretty easy to stay busy during the week but you will need a schedule of things to occupy your free time on the weekends or you will find a certain degree of loneliness affecting your sanity. Try helping out at a shelter or an abused mother hostile or something where you can hold your head up for being an independent woman and not needing a crutch to stand with or without. Tell your B/f about the plan to break what you have off and set up anew and that you have started looking for a flat to relocate to but have had no luck. Let him know the thing is you have no ill feelings and you are not closing him out.... just leaving him behind. You've grown you need to see more of life than he has shown you in 4 1/2 years and you have only a few more years to see the world before a family starts bending you over the sink and tub full time.
2007-01-31 18:10:25 · answer #2 · answered by Arthur Richards of Kent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to start your life over, just continue on without him. First, the two of you need to sit down and discuss your relationship maturely. Break it off without dramatics. There is no need to jump into a new relationship. You can always attempt to contact friends from before. If that is not an option, try to make friends at work or find a place to hang out like a gym or library, depending on your interest. You can find people who have similar interest as you and make new friends. Good luck to you.
2007-01-31 17:54:28 · answer #3 · answered by fly guy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that's why you want to break up yeah you people don't belong together. Just tell him that it's time for you both to move on, if you're not moral, go to a lot of clubs with the people at work. There's no reason to stay into a relationship that's not going anywhere, you'll resent him if you stay so just leave you're wasting your time. You never give up everything for one man anyway, but the man you're with should be your best friend not that you should surround your whole life around him. Good luck babe!
2007-01-31 17:51:39 · answer #4 · answered by April 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something like that will eventually emotionally tear you apart. no one can tell you how many years it will be down the line when you realize now you cant move on cause your too comfortable with that person. Either move on before there are more VARIABLES added to the equation or Talk talk talk talk talk! its easier said than done but you cant make up your mind for the other person. maybe he doesn't feel the same maybe he senses that you're changing and he should just back off until he feels you've come to a decision. but don't assume anything you must be 100% sure. and the only way to know is to talk, ask questions. my teacher used 2 say that when you assume you make an *** out of u and me (***-u-me). He is a smart man.
2007-01-31 18:00:34 · answer #5 · answered by MONIQUE G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should do what your heart tells you to. You don't want to be in this relationship so get out of it. You want some friends, well you said you have some at your job, so try hanging out with them sometime. Try confiding in one of your old friends. You don't need a man just because you're lonely. Sounds like all you need is a couple friends who'll listen and give you support right now.
2007-01-31 17:51:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A sudden change is hard... that's why we have the word 'adapt'...
Time heals everything, time shows you everything...
you must trust time to guide you slowly...
there is no how to do or what to do, but only to go and do!
no one wants to be lonely, no one wants to be alone, I'm sure your friends are still there and I'm definite you aren't the only one that is alone and fear the emotions of loneliness...
just appreciate this time you have now, because when things come at you again, they will blow you off your feet.
2007-01-31 17:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by calv83luc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just sit down and tell him you been together a long time you should be able to tell him. I know i would. It's hard to start over but it's worth it. You can just remain friends if yaw can handle it. you don't have to move. and go out to clubs with your friends or something when you feel ready to. If you don't do it know like have a talk it will stay the same and you will be miserable. don't waiste another minute.
2007-01-31 17:52:59 · answer #8 · answered by everlasting_matchstick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes sweetie make up your mind if it isnt what you no longer want you would better to move on and start over for sure you dont have to be in a relationship that isnt good for you there is some one you will meet and fall in love with and be very happy to be with for good
2007-01-31 17:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by harold g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most well populated areas have a singles group that usually has people in it. You can always try there.
If you are religious, some churches have singles groups as well.
Those are always places to start. :D
Good luck.
2007-01-31 17:50:12 · answer #10 · answered by Deede 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋