the life of a army guys girlfriend (PLEASE HELP GOING CRAZY)?

Question

hi every one i was wondering if you could tell me about the life of guy in the army and what i should expect as his girlfriend because my new boyfriend is in the army and i dont know what to expect, he always has to go do this or go do that and i would like to know more about a army guys life every time i ask him he dodges the subject so i am turing to you guys

his gorup or what ever they are called (sorry dont know anything about the army) just got relocated to a base in illinois he usaly is willing to talk about any thing espical the army cuz he knows i am scared that he is in it. this is the first time when i asked him about it he wouldnt answer and changed subject .

the reason i really wan to know is cuz he asked me to marry him and i said idk cuz i dont know what to expect and thats what scares me

okay i should have said this he is 19 almost 20 he joined the day affter he turned 18 so he is kinda new but he has been in the army for almost 2 years

Answer 1

I doubt he really dodging the subject of what he does. They tend to spend a lot of time hurrying up and waiting. He says he has to go, probably to formation (everyone stands in line and row and waits around on someone to say do something.) A typical non predeployment day in the Army would be PT (physical training) from 6am or 6:30am to around 7:30am. You get released for breakfast and to change into uniform (usually showering is a good idea) and you report for duty at around 9am. That could be job specific or clean up or time at the rifle range. You get a couple hours for lunch most days at around noon to 1:30pm. Most folks are done with the day at 5 or 6pm. You can get dinner at the defac or somewhere of your choice. Then you do as you please. (the above was a day as a 3/187 infantry). But jobs vary, if you are a cook you go to work as early as 4am and some nights as late as 10pm. Things like duty desk and such will also be a required thing (they run a desk that answers the phone 24/7/365.). I really doubt this guy is doing something he shouldn't like a some will say. I bet if he is new then he is still just adjusting to life where he is. Probably making friends with fellow soliders. Give him a break, if you are really stressed about it then just tell him the reason you ask is because you are curious. (oh and if he is new to the military he could be getting a lot of the crap jobs to do and stuff (kinda like initation)

EDITED-I just noticed that you said his unit just moved to Ill. I know it is scary stepping into something new. If you two love one another then get married. The Armyhas great support stuff for families. MWR, FRG stuff like that. I led a support group for hubbies unit for a long time. I bet he is really busy and doing a bunch of stuff right now just getting resettled. Could he be getting ready to go overseas. I wonder if that is a pending item on the units agenda. He is probably really stressed over that stuff. Good luck hun to you and him. Don't listen to some of the ones above. NOT ALL MILITARY PEOPLE CHEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Both huby and I were military and we would never have let that cross our minds. Have faith in him.

Answer 2

OK first of all I don't understand him dodging your questions but as far as Army life it really is not that bad. I mean you have to be able to be alone at any given time and sometimes for both long and short periods of time. And yes there will be things that he probably wont be able to discuss with you or choose not to because you seem to be extremely nervous for some reason. By the way if you don't mind how old are you? Also if you are wanting to be with him then you guys really should plan on getting married because if you are just a girlfriend the Army wont do anything for you. I love being an Army wife but that is me everyone is different. I like the security and the benefits are great for me and our son. But you have to be able to handle it because it can be really scary. Especially depending on what MOS (job) he is in. If you are truly that freaked out about Army life you may want to really think about whether or not it would be the right life for you. You may love the guy but if you cant handle it now i don't know if you would be able to handle it at all. Good Luck though!!!

Answer 3

It's totally normal to feel like the pain has lessened and it's totally normal to feel guilty about that. I'll tell you what I was told when I felt this way during DH's first deployment after a 3 year shore duty: You can't survive for long with such a sharp pain of missing him. The people who feel that way all the time often don't make it as military spouses. You have to let that sharp pain lessen into a general ache of missing him so that you can live your life the way you need to, take care of your kids and be there to support him where you can. It doesn't mean you love him any less or more than before, just that you're coping well with the separation and doing your job at home. I don't know if that helps you or not but it sure made sense to me at the time and still does as we prepare for our 3 Navy deployment.

Answer 4

Gosh, Baby Girl ... It would have helped a lot if you had just punctuated properly. But I guess that kind of stuff isn't important to your generation.

So, your guy is in the Army? Well, Army guys are people too. I'll tell you this, though. If he just joined, he may change a lot. I'm not saying he'll let you go or love you less, but the changes will cause him to adjust his thinking and change his focus about certain things ESPECIALLY if he sees any combat. At best, this might help to solidify your relationship. At worst, he might lose interest; I hope that's not the case.

You mentioned that he always dodges the subject. That could mean: (1) Everything about his job is considered sensative information and he's not permitted to discuss it; (2) He doesn't enjoy talking about work; or (3) Both!

Try to set aside the part about his military duties and evaluate your relationship by the many other ways in which you inter-act.

Good luck, Baby Girl.

Answer 5

Yeah, a lot of people are in the same boat. My fiancee is in the army stationed in Germany. It's hard. Very hard. But if you love him, it will all be okay. My man and I recently got webcams and it is helping a lot! Just make sure that you are there for him. I know this is difficult for you, but trust me, he's going through so much more. He has been ripped out of his world and away from everyone that he loves and stuck in an unfamilar place with unfamilar people and has a new stressful job to do. His life is no longer his own, he belongs to the army, he has to do what they say. Sometimes they just don't want to talk about it. My man wants to talk about anything but his day to day. But when he does open up, just let him vent. He will need your support. it also helps to talk to people in a similar situation. I hope you find your answer somewhere.

Answer 6

As the gf of a military person, as far as the military is concerned, you're a non-person. You can expect him to be gone over night, days, weeks, months, sometimes without any contact for days. Sometimes he might 'dodge the subject' because he CAN'T tell you certain things, or he's not sure if he can. The term OPSEC )operational security) should be foremost in every military person's mind. Now, if you become an ARMY WIFE, you have all types of avenues for support. And you can find out all kinds of things. For example, I received some material for a sub home based out of Groton, CT. I called SubLant and they said that it was indeed home ported in Groton, but they were not allowed to tell me its location. I called the sub's OMBUDSMAN in Groton and told her my problem. She said, "Why it's right down the street from you at the D&S piers." I carried the box over to the sub and gave it to the Storekeeper. Military WIVES support each other with the motto 'WE TAKE CARE OF OUR OWN." Ever watch the TV show on CBS, "THE UNIT"? That will give you an idea about how military wives can help each other out.

Answer 7

I dated a guy that was in the Army and believe me you don't want to here the stories I was told-I'm tainted (in a very bad way)about military guys for the rest of my life. I am still in close touch with this guy but I would never be his girlfriend again. If you can stand a life of being lied to, decieved, and cheated on-go ahead a stay with him otherwise I would get a new boyfriend or use him as a boy toy like he might be doing to you-(remember he dodges your questions or changes the subject) there is a reason why!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

as a girlfirend you are NOT entitled to ANYTHING.. no information about his deployments, no access to the bases or any facilties.

As a spouse, I won't lie.. It's a VERY hard life and not everyone is strong enough to do it. Can you accept being number two on his list of priorities at all times? because frankly, that's what it is like. there will be loads of times where plans get changed and he can doing nothing about them. he will miss birthdays and holidays and anniversaries. there will be months at a time where you don't know where he is or what he's doing. Communication will be sporadic.

it isn't easy and many people cannot handle it.

Answer 9

You need to be more specific in his job, his location to you (how many hours or states away.), what he has to go do. Different bases? Was he stationed there before if he is going to another base? I lived with my best friend who is in the military for a year.

Answer 10

he may not be able to tell u if he has a seacurity clearance. but over all, if he has to live overseas for any legnth of time, he is probably getting his needs met elsewhere while u'r waiting on his return, especially if he's dodging it. u'r a side-dish, but u know, why buy the cow when u can get the milk for free!
u did want to hear the truth, right? well, that's pretty much in a nutshell. go ahead and get u're game on yo