Why am i so miserable?

Question

I have alot to be hapy about. I have got 2 lovely kids, some great friends, at uni studying for a great career, a roof over my head and a man who really likes me...so why do i seem to be so unhappy?? I have suffered with depression for the last 15 years, but dont think that it has come back, i just feel so tierd all the time, and tearful.
I know that my life is busy, i am a single mum and a full time student, but i just want to pack it all in and sit at home and cry and rest for a while.

No, actually!!! I am not overweight. The opposite, been told to eat more by the doctor thanx!!!!

Answer 1

Depression is nasty. Just when you think you got it under control, it does something else.
You're tired, tearful, and busy. You are a single mom and a full time student, each of which qualifies as a full time job with full time stress.
If you want to "rest for a while," that is what you need to do. You've got way too many things on your plate and you are so exhausted that you don't even know that or even how you got there. If you don't take a break soon, you may experience a relapse into deeper depression. That is a reality for people who have it. You need to accept this fact and then do something about it. Let the children's dad have them more often, leave them with your man more or let them stay at your mom's house for awhile. There is nothing wrong with giving yourself some time. Its not selfish. Its the reality of having depression.

You have to take care of yourself. If you don't, you will end up in a hospital somewhere and locked in. If you are having suicidal thoughts, you need to get yourself to a counselor or someone who can help you. This is not a joke. This is your life we are talking about, because you know depression has the ability to kill you. This is a fact. The only way to help yourself is to take care yourself. This means not pushing yourself past your breaking point. If you are crying, exhausted and feeling depressed at the same time that you have the responsibilities of single motherhood and full time student, you are running yourself into the ground. STOP DOING THIS RIGHT NOW.

Answer 2

hi Claire,
It really does seem as if you are clinically depressed. Its something you will have no control over so the Great life you say you have will not make any difference. You are an amazing person to be able to cope with everything you are doing and that is something you really should be so proud of. Maybe you do just need to recharge the baterries abit, i mean who wouldn't!!

Maybe you could go and see your G.P for a general chat and then between you you can decide if is depression or just feeling low. I know some people do not like to take medication but it really does help to sort out the chemical imbalance in the brain. I know some people put a stigma on depression but they are just ignorant cos its an ilness like anything else and can be helped by taking the right medication.

Is you dont fancy that then St Johns Wort is an excellent natural remedy that can be purchased from health shops and chemists and really can give you a lift. Try to take more excersise and time out for your self although i know it is hard with all your commitments.

You dont say if you have a good support network of family and friends but talk to them if you have cos that can be a great help.

Take care of your self and be proud.

Answer 3

Claire, not everyone has an event or problem that leads to them feeling low. And the fact that you feel you have a pretty good life at the moment is probably making you feel worse as you can;t understand it. To me, it sounds like you are depressed, though not to the extent that you were for 15 years. There are free online tests you can do to find out if you are depressed, and also message boards to talk to people experiencing similar problems.

I think you should really go and tell your doctor. It's the best way to get a bit of extra support while you're feeling unhappy, and may stop you from reaching the level you were at for 15 years. That would be the worst thing as you've done amazingly well to get through it. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well you sound like you are on the threshold of a new bout of depression . But there is hope! You know you have everything to feel happy about. There is part of the answer your FEELING of happiness. Embrace it and cry for being HAPPY.
One of the latest approaches to controlling depressive feelings is Light Therapy.

Get a spotlight, the type used to illuminate photographic models. first thing in morning when you get out of bed turn this light on and bathe in its glow and warmth for 20 mins.
Do this 3 times a day if possible. Repeat this for up to 4 weeks and note how different you are feeling.

I have used this with some of my own patients and the results have been astounding. So now i pass this research on to you so that you too can benefit from this simple process and get your life back on track

Answer 5

I think you're fantastic! How the heck do do study and bring up kids whose purpose in life seems to be destroying their mum's abitilty to think.( Everybodies kids not just yours) No wonder you've got a fella he can obviously spot a gem when he sees one. Your repoductive cycle has probably got something to do with how you feel, not to mention it is the worst time of year. It's half term soon which will be a mixed blessing, try to pamper youself a bit even if it's only an uninterrupted bath or a visit to the hairdressers. I wish I'd got qualified when I was a single mum, you are setting a brilliant example to them and should be very very proud of youself. I hope you feel better soon, good luck with your studies, you kids and your man.

Answer 6

Sounds as if you need some you time. Life gets tough, work, study, Kids. Everyone placing demands on you, one way or another Try and find someone to mind the kids while you go and do something for yourself. Have you thought it may be down to a viral infection, low iron or something? I sympathise right now I feel as if I could sleep for a week, but hey theres the kids to sort out, the house to clean...... Mines mostly down to an impending amount of stress which is non avoidable.
Hope you feel better soon.

Answer 7

because people today expect to much, and the harder you work to get all these things you see on t.v. and what society tells you you must have, the worst you are going to feel, maybe you have thousands of dollars in the bank, but i DOT it. being in dept can cause a person to be unhappy, being so busy that you don't have time to eat right and exercise will cause you to be tired and unhappy. and it takes more time than they say to really eat right and take care of your self. people have forgot about really preparing meals and consuming quality food, now people eat processed foods, caned foods stuff like that, maybe that's not you i don't know, try eating organic foods, raise a garden, exercise, being tired all the time is a sign of depression and so is crying, i am not going to tell you what you should do because i don't no what is best for you, you need to take time out to find your self and i no that sounds silly but its true, i don't want to recommend meds because i believe allot of depression is caused from are environment that we are selves create change your environment and it makes you feel better, but meds are good to i would see a doctor. i hope this helped you, i am just saying how i feel being a person that all so suffers from depression.

Answer 8

Babe, my heart goes out to you.
You are very miserable indeed, and you might well know why, but it may be too painful to face it.
It's not easy to be a single mum. We go through ups and downs, and we have to be so strong at the same time.
You say that this man really "likes" you. Not loves you. Is he a friend, or a boyfriend? Would you like more from him?
We need someone to be strong for us; Sometimes, it happened that I didn't want to think. Make decisions. I wish someone would do it for me.
So, I make sure I get some "me" time. children in bed at a reasonable time and then I can cry all I want.
Also, I have decided this year, after having enjoyed myself selfishly for a while, to do lots with my two children, and try and see what they could do to make them happy.
It works for me too.
They're busy, so I get a small break; Plus, I know they're having fun:So, it makes me feel good.
By taking them to whereever they're going I can see people, exchange a word or two with them.
It makes me come alive again.
And I'm also doing a sport, just not to think too much and relax the tension of the week.
You do need to be spoilt now and again. You need to have the responsibilities aside for a little while, and do something really just for yourself sometimes. Also, crying is not always a bad thing. It allows to get rid of the stress.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 9

Hey girl tell me about it. Im a single mum of two kids and have a baby on the way. The difference is ive finished Uni last November so im a bit bored now!! But I can sooooo relate to how you are feeling, I mean before I read this, I was just sitting thinking how utterly horrible it is to know im lucky with all that I have yet still feel rubbish...kinda makes you feel guilty. I have suffered with depression also from my early teens and have come off meds for it about 6 months ago...its a constant worry for me that im sinking back into the depths, especially now that im pregnant. Id love to be able to just feel fab about everything....my kids are great, i have enough money to feed and clothe them and myself, yet there is this pool of discontent. Its truly awful feeling this way and all I can say is although im not in a position to advise you I wanted you to know that you are NOT alone in this!!! Hope you are feeling better soon....goodluck hunnie xx

Answer 10

Actually, this does sound like the beginning of depression. I recognise it only too well as I have recurrent depression. Often it's others who spot it first while you're there just trying to cope with everything.

I think you need to force yourself to slow down for a while and nip this in the bud.

You must seek help from friends and family so that you get good breaks in your very busy schedule. It is essential.

When you take a break, really spoil yourself, do things that you really enjoy and that help you to relax.

I used to always say I was too busy to take a break....then the inevitable would happen.

Get some well deserved rest...you deserve it and you have earned it!

Best wishes.