Should bridesmaids pay for their own dresses?

Question

I'm on a tight budget for my wedding in July 2008. I have been looking for very cheap bridesmaid dresses, since I plan to spend more money on my gown and photographer. I was told by a few people that bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, however both I and my mother think that it would be rude to ask them to. I have found a great bridesmaid dress online for only $50 that I would like all of them to wear.
Should I ask them to buy their own? And if so, how should I ask so I don't sound rude?

Answer 1

Unless the bride (or her family) was rich, I haven't heard of a wedding in the USA where the bridesmaids did NOT have to pay for their dresses. It's part of the expected "package" - they are also expected to pay for shoes, lodging, hair, makeup, gifts, etc.

I would send them an email with a link to the dress that you've found and say "what do you guys think? is this affordable?" and take it from there.

Answer 2

Generally bridesmaids do pay for their own dresses. It sounds like you've found a great deal. Anything under $100 for a bridesmaid's dress seems like a good deal. I think that your bridesmaids will understand that you are on a tight budget. Just politely explain what you're expecting them to do when you ask each of them to be one of your bridesmaids. If someone that you really want to participate can't afford the full cost, see if you can discreetly work something out between the two of you. Also, you should move quickly, because that great on-line deal won't last forever.

Answer 3

As a former bridesmaid, I had to buy my own dress. Initially I thought this was fine...until the bride left the groom less than a year later. So I had this ugly dress in my closet that I would NEVER wear again that I had paid WAY too much for and the reason I wore the stupid rag was moot. But enough of my bitter rantings! If you are going to ask them to pay for the dress, $50 is about as high as you should go. If you are still squeamish about that, and it's admittedly grey area, cut corners in other places.

The photographs are priceless and they are the major thing you are going to have after the wedding to remember your day....but you can save money by shopping around and doing it smart. Instead of having your professional photographer at the reception doing candids, ask a TRUSTED friend to get pictures of the guests, AND put disposable cameras on the tables. Be aware though that if there is alcohol involved, some of the pictures are going to be...uh...well...interesting! But it's a good way to get the candids without having the pro do it, and will save you money.

Don't have your pro follow you around all day. Have your mom or bridesmaids do pics of you getting ready. Ultimately, there are only a few shots that you are going to want of getting dressed and this is something that looks really great in your album, but tacky on your wall. Have this person shoot slightly down on your, particularly if you are heavier. It is really flattering. And again, it saves money.

A pro is really great for the portraits you hang on the wall. See if your pro copywrites his/her images. Some don't and they let you have the proofs. What I do is write everything to disk and allow the client to print it. I can do the printing, but I charge more. Also, shop around for your pro...look at their images...find former clients and see what they say. Just because someone has a big studio and a beautiful camera doesn't mean they know what to do with it.

As for the gown/honeymoon, I'm pretty clueless! Hope this helps. Congrats!!!

Answer 4

I've actually never heard of the bride paying for the bridesmaids dresses. I always understood that it was my responsibility to pay for my own gown, shoes, hair and make-up when asked to be in a wedding. I thought it was pretty much universally understood that being asked to be in someones wedding is an honor and the financial responsibility falls to the bridesmaid. If you are in a financial position to pay for everyone, that is really very generous, otherwise, I think the girls should know it's up to them. When you find the dress you want them to wear just say, "The dress is X amount of $$ and the deposits need to be in when I order them." It isn't rude to ask them...they should already know they pay for their own dress.

Answer 5

There are two ways to go. Either ask them to by their own dresses by saying that you really want them all to participate in the wedding and be apart of your special day but that you are on a low/tight budget and do not think that you could afford to buy the dresses.

Or you could buy the dresses as a way for them to be able to participate. Some people do not have jobs or a surplus income to be able to buy dresses. For $50 I would hope that they were able to buy the dresses, but at the same time for $50 I hope that you would be able to buy the dresses. The bridesmaids would be doing you a favor by agreeing to participate in the service. They will probably end up throwing you showers and planning your bachelorette party.

It depends how you weigh your options. If you are only having three bridesmaids or fewer what difference does $150 make? But if your having a lot it could very easily add up.

I've been in weddings were I've had to buy my own dress and others where my dress was bought for me. I think the dress should be bought. Travel arrangements always have to be made and lodging costs money too. Would you rather them buy you a shower gift or pay money for their dress?

Answer 6

I have been in a few wedding myself and I am getting ready to walk down the isle also. I do not think it is rude or out of line to ask bridesmaids to pay for their dress. I would say that I found the dress that is reasonable prices and you think that her buying it soon would help just in case it has to be altered when it arrives. This way you are not stressing yourself out not knowing when or if she will buy the dress.

Answer 7

I have always paid for my own bridesmaid dress, and my bridesmaids are paying for their own...Its sweet of you to consider otherwise, but that can be a massive budget killer. I have always expected it when I was asked to be in the wedding, and the bride just always told me where to go get measured at or when we were all going to pick them out. Let the bridal shop or whatever do the talking on the money, tell them you found the dress you won't them to get online, give them the site and go for it....if someone approaches you about money problems then maybe consider paying, but other from that, just tell the girls who what when where how much bla bla bla and move on! hope this helps!

Answer 8

I would say "I have found a great dress online for $50, is that something you can afford in the next few weeks so we can order them all together?" Bridesmaids should assume they are paying for the dress, shoes and underwear.

Answer 9

Me and everyone I know who had been in weddings have always paid for our own bridesmaid dresses. That is the correct etiquette. That's why it can be expensive to be in someones wedding. You have to pay for your dress, your shoes, your hair. Usually also you throw the bride her shower and do some kind of bachorlette party.

Answer 10

I paid for my bridesmaid dresses... But, I have been in other weddings that I had to buy the dress. I understood and wasn't bitter! In both cases, the bride asked us our price ranges and from there picked dresses she liked. I think $50 is a good price for a dress. IF for any reason your bm can't afford that, could you go halves? :) Good luck.