My fiance and I have been engaged for two years. He just told me that he had been cheating on me with a coworker for two months and she is now pregnant and keeping the baby. We are supposed to get married in August and practically everything is already done. I still want to marry him, but should I really? I want the other girl out of our lives. Please help-I am going crazy!
2007-01-31 08:44:36 · 22 answers · asked by LuckyLady? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you have a brain in your head, you will not marry him. Don't confuse a wedding with a marriage. The wedding may be beautiful, but afterwards you are going to have to deal with him having the child at your home, him shelling out child support out of money that should be used for your mortgage, retirement accounts, vacations, etc. You will also have to deal with this woman calling your home, stopping by, and she will never go away.
In addition, your fiance has exposed you not only STD's, but the humiliation of everyone knowing that he has been engaged to you for two years and still couldn't keep it in his pants. Not only that, he was dumb enough not to use protection and knock somebody up. If he's doing this, how many others do you think he's cheated with? And you aren't even married yet. What do you think is going to happen once the wedding is over and real life begins? How are you going to feel at the wedding when everyone is asking your new husband when his lover is due to go into labor?
Do yourself a favor and get out of this now. This will not work out. He does not get a do-over on this. Find someone that truly loves and respects you and wants to build a life with you and you alone. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-01-31 18:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by stseukn 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get out now while you still can. This will end in divorce. There is no way to get that girl out of your lives. He has a responsibility to his child with her, and why would you want to take the child's father out of his/her life?
You are thinking too much about the wedding and not enough about the marriage. How could you marry a man who would cheat on you, not use protection, get the other woman pregnant, and expose you to STDs? Once a cheater, always a cheater. Leave him NOW.
2007-02-01 02:22:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is totally your choice if you want to marry him. I personally would not. That woman and child will always be in your life, and will you really ever be able to trust him?
But, if you decide to stay with him you need to lay out some ground rules. First of all I would post pone your marriage for a year or two, because I think it would be a good idea to see what your life will be like with him once he is a father. I know that you have already set everything up, but your wedding is only one day. This is the rest of your life we are talking about. I would also be very strict with him about going out, etc, etc, and be up front with him about it. Tell him that since he broke your trust that it may take him his entire life to earn it back. I would also be a little wary about him seeing the mother of that child alone. Once a skank always a skank, even if they are a mom.
I hope everything turns out for the best. Good Luck.
2007-01-31 08:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by wishing_i_could_sing 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there was ever a time for you to listen to someone else's advice, NOW is that time!!! Do NOT marry this man!! It is as simple as that. Everyone on this board is telling you the same thing honey.
What he did was absolutely horrible. He cannot be trusted. I know its easier said than done but you will be a much happier person in the end. This happened to my girlfriend and she made the mistake of marrying the jerk. A year and a half after their marriage, he wanted a divorce. Since they had no pre-nup, she has to split her assets with him (he has nothing). Don't set yourself up for even more hurt. Cut your losses and use whatever money you can recover and take yourself and your girlfriends on a nice vacation...or invest it ;) Honey, life it too short to be unhappy with and untrusting of the one you are with. Don't marry him!!!
2007-02-02 00:38:45 · answer #4 · answered by SupaDupaWoman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE do NOT marry him!!!
How can you even think that it's still an option??? You are almost finished planning a WEDDING and he's cheating!! ALREADY!
Plus he will have a baby with another woman- that means they will BOTH be in your lives for at least the next 18 years.
I'm sorry hon, I'm sure you planned every detail for the perfect wedding, but this is not the right man. Once a cheater, always a cheater!!
2007-01-31 08:49:22 · answer #5 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally don't think you should start your marriage foundation based on lies and deceit. Now that she is pregnant she just can't disappear out of your lives just like that. If you accept this treatment from him now, you will be accepting all kind of bull once you get married to him. In his mind, after all this and you still married him, he can do anything to you and you're not going to go anywhere. Seriously reconsider this marriage. You might just have to take a loss on the financial side of your wedding plans.
2007-01-31 08:53:29 · answer #6 · answered by stella 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you be serious? Your fiance has not been faithful to you for 2 months and if you even had to ask what you should do then you already know what your answer is. As far as wanting the other woman out of your life..if you stick with him you also stick with her for the next 18 years.
2007-01-31 10:40:13 · answer #7 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok lets pretend that the wedding date has not been set and he just told u that, would u still marry him if he asks? HELL NO u wouldnt. at teh cost of whatever it may be call this off and run not walk away from this catastrophe. if he is doing this now what the hell will be his encore. if u choose to stay he will think that ok i got away with that now i can get away with..... u imagine it,cause it dont look pretty from my side. the old saying is man can only do to u waht u allow him to do. if u are content being his doormat prepare to be the rug in the future. if u do pleeze dont bring any children into this dysfunction. let u be the only casualty of ur union.
and now that she is pregnanat she will never be out of ur lives. she is here for the distance
2007-01-31 09:18:46 · answer #8 · answered by ray g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This must be a really hard time for you, so first and foremost, my heart goes out to you. He has completely betrayed you and the fact that he is telling you ti's been going on for two months AND he impregnated her, all while being engaged to you shows the kind of person he is...loser. I think personally in this situation I would cut him loose and be GLAD you don't have to deal with this idiot anymore. It's not your loss, doll. It's his. He made a horrible mistake that cannot be forgive nor taken lightly.
And p.s. if she keeps the child, she will NEVER be out of his life.
2007-01-31 08:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me..I would not marry him. He cheated on you and betrayed your trust. You may never get over the hurt. Just back out gracefully now and let him be the "other woman" and their child. She his having his baby and she will always be a part of your lives.
2007-01-31 08:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋