My older brother is very academically smart. He is only 19 and he graduates this June with a major in bio-chemistry with a premed. My mother home-schooled us both, and is still teaching me. I am taking 3 classes at a local junior college and I'm 16. She's compared me [academically] with my brother for years. I try my best but I still feel like I'm coming up short. I don't know how to solve this. I've told my mom that it hurts when she compares me to my brother, and she's stopped, but she's still dissapointed in me somewhat. Come on! I'm 16 and taking college classes, what more?!
2007-01-31 08:41:51 · 7 answers · asked by Rokito 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know how it feels. My parents home-schooled my older brother and myself. My brother's almost 20 now and I'm almost eighteen. We've both had a lot of the same interests (Music and art) and since my brother is 2 years older than me; He's always seemed to be better at a lot of the things I do. It used to really way me down, especially when my parents would compare me to him. But I've talked to my parents about it, and I've sort of resolved it for the most part. I recently took some time to think deeply on it and I've found that it really doesn't matter how much better my brother is than me, because we're both unique individuals and as long as I'm at peace with my personal state of life and when I come to a realization of the fact that we're all here for a reason that almost nothing can bring me down and I can love everyone the way God had intended me to in the first place.
2007-02-03 13:01:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well there are many things you could do to break out of his shadow. Many people in your situation would act out or get negative attention and be known as the "bad brother" but i dont think that is the right thing for you since you appear to have a good head on your shoulders. Go for something he isnt involved in. If he is Captain of the football team and you are a player it is easy that he outshinned you in that area. But does he do basketball or writing or the yearbook? Besides that what are your interests in life? Highschool and small towns are just the beginings of your life as an adult. Will you go far in business school and be a banker? Will you go on to medical school and become a doctor? A teacher ? An artist? The thing to remember is that as hard as it is to deal with he earned his kudos and you need to be positive and be proud of who he is and that he is your brother. And it will be hard. But when others say that you are "Laidens bro" smile and say yep thats me and be proud. Find an inner peace within yourself and realize just how much you are worth as an individual and as his brother. Break out of the shadow in your own mind and it will happen in life all around you. Good luck and remain positive.
2016-03-28 22:44:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and talk to your mom about this. The way she pushes and compares can lead to u hating her. No two people are the same in looks and mentality that is what makes us unique. I know where you are coming from cause my parents use to do the same to do on sports against my brothers. I wound up outdoing them but then I resented my parents for pushing me so hard and I hate those sports now.
2007-01-31 08:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by andyramvzb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately some parents are just this way. they want us to be the best of the best and sometimes that can overshadow what we as children need. how do you know your mom is still dissapointed? did she say that or is it in her actions. you need to let your parents know how you're feeling immediately. if she rolls her eyes to something you say, let her know, hey mom, i saw that and it kind of hurt my feelings. just think of it this way honey, you have 2 more years of this .... just two more! i know it sounds like a long time ... but believe me ... it goes by much faster than you expect!
2007-01-31 10:41:34 · answer #4 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With an attitude like that i would say you r not giving it 100% Come on girl u should want to make the most of your life. Give it all u got.
2007-01-31 12:53:51 · answer #5 · answered by wildpalomino 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with you...
your mom is insensitive...you each have your own gifts and talents
You have your own personality as your brother.
what is right for him is not right for you.
if you want i can help you identify your strengths and personality so you and mom can make good choices and set expectations for YOU
email: heart_soul_mind2004@yahoo.com
or messenger heart_soul_mind2003
i can give you a link for the meyers briggs test.
2007-01-31 08:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by Life Coach 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look..relax n don't push yourself so hard.
2007-01-31 11:08:43 · answer #7 · answered by gen2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋