Any advice on how to control a toddler?

Question

He just doesn't stop! He's very hyperactive most of the time, he only wants to run around, throwing things, and just making a mess. If I try to hold him, change his clothes or diper, feed him, bath or put him to sleep he starts crying as if I'm torturing him...seriously, he cries so horrible it sounds that something is hurting him. I think he would have loved being a cave man.

He goes to sleep very late, between 12 to 1:30 am. It's frustrating because I work during the day and I feel like a zombie at the office because of lack of sleep.

Right now he stays at my mom's while I'm at work, but I'm thinking about daycare. Do you think it's a good idea? Do you think it would help to mold his behavior? Are all toddlers uncontrolable like mine? He's 1 yr. and 4 months old now but he's been behaving like that from a really early age.

Help!!!

Answer 1

My daughter is the same exact age. You have to force a very consistent schedule every single day that includes bedtime by 8pm. He may not want to be in bed and may scream his little head off, but he'll get used to the schedule and eventually rely on it. You need to take control, he's getting old enough to learn that he can run the show. A great book is called "Raising the Spirited Child". It helped give me a lot of great tools for dealing with my very "spirited" little girl

Answer 2

Does he take a late night nap? If so, don't let him anymore. Also, make sure he's not eating too much sugar, since grandmas are notorious for that when they watch them. Try having him drink milk at night instead of juice (if he does drink juice at night) because milk has tryptophan (sp?) which is the same stuff in turkey that makes people drowsy. However, 12 adn 1:30 a.m. seem abnormal, even if he does consume a lot of sugar during the day at your mom's (I'm assuming you get off work about 5). As far as running and making a mess, that's what toddlers do. My 2 yo can tear up a house in 2 minutes flat. I'll pick up and leave her with my husband while I go to the store. When I come back 10 minutes later, it looks like a tornado went through the place. A lot of kids throw, too. Ask your mom what she does to discipline him during the day and re-evaluate your disciplinary techniques. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong, but some things work for some kids and not for others. Also, sometimes kids who stay with grandparents have disciplinary problems because their grandparents let them get away with murder. Yeah, I know, grandma is supposed to spoil them, but it can be a problem when Grandma watches the child every day. Then it becomes habit. When a grandparent watches a child everyday, they need to exercise discipline and care. My mother-in-law used to watch some of her grandkids all the time, and I saw how they acted so I told her no way in Hades would she be babysit my child all the time. All they eat is sugar (I do mean that's about all they eat accept for EasyMac and fried chicken fingers and french fries) and do whatever they want. They even stay with her a few nights a week. They act horrible and they're old enough to know better.

Talk to your mom about how she handles him during the day. Start by asking if she has the same problems with him. If not, try to find out what she does differently than you. If she is treating him like my mother-in-law treats her grandkids then no wonder he has a problem. He's getting over-spoiled on a regular basis and can't adjust to being home with you. If she is also having problems with him, work together to come up with an idea of how to handle it. Pick the way you want to try, and let her know your decision. Good luck. I feel for you. Just don't buckle under the pressure of the tantrums. I know it's hard when/if you are by yourself. My husband is gone for 6 months now for job training and used to always work evenings and midnights, so when I was home, he was gone. No matter how tired I was, I just did my absolute best to not give her what she wants when she throws a fit. Eventually, they learn they can't get their way by acting that way.

Answer 3

Yes, day care will help him expel some of that energy, sounds like he's getting to much rest during the day. Not only physically but mentally as well, he will have to learn to interact with other children and that can be mentally draining. Maybe he will be as tired in the evening as you are, no cat naps allowed. Also, try this, give him a bottle of eggnog in the evening, it weighs heavy on the stomach and he will sleep like a baby. Ha. There are some really good recipes on the Internet, and easy to make. If he won't drink eggnog, then try a chocolate, or strawberry, or vanilla shake, thinned just enough for his baby bottle. Good Luck

Answer 4

you need to put most of the toys away. check with your doctor to make sure he is ADD or ADHD first. Ask your mom how long of a nap he is taking during the day. If he is older than 1 he shouldn't be sleeping more than two hours in the day and down no later than 2:00 pm. If the doc says he doesn't have either disorder; you need to set up a very consistent schedule for your child and if your mother can't stick to it put him in daycare. Your strict schedule will only help you in the end. Be consistent.

Example:
Breakfast same time
nap always the same time, no longer than two hours.
lunch always at the same time
limit toys to only one or two at a time.
family dinner as much as possible to set good eating examples.
Bed time no later than 9:00pm

We literally cut our children's door in half so they couldn't get out and we could watch them to see if they were OK, then let them cry for a while as long as you have their room child proof thin includes all dressers and furniture being mounted so it can't be tipped over.

Answer 5

I had the same problem with my son when he was that age. I also worked full time and my mom cared for him during the day. He was absolutely uncontrollable when I got him home at night.
The problem turned out to be with my mom. She really set no boundaries for him during the day, didn't make him nap if he didn't want to (which meant that by the time I got him home, he was overtired and cranky rather than too well rested as I had originally thought), fed him things that I didn't want him eating ("treats" she called them). When I tried to talk to her about it, she became resentful and said it was her "right" to spoil her grandchild and enjoy her time with him as much as possible and that the discipling was MY job. I eventually had to put him in daycare because it just wasn't working out. I didn't feel it was fair that my entire (limited) time with my son was spent trying to get him to behave....it wasn't good for either of us.

I'm not saying that all grammas are like this (before everyone starts bashing me), and I'm not saying that this is what your problem is, I'm just giving you a possible scenario, because it was a reality for me. I hope this isn't what your problem is, because it's a BIG one, and not easily resolved.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Does your mom have him on a schedule? If he's taking 1 nap a day moving it to early afternoon (1 pm/after lunch) will get him more tired at a reasonable time at night. If he's still taking 2 naps I had my boys take them at 10 am and 3 pm (they woke up at 6:30 and bed by 8). Make sure he has plenty of time to run and play outside because any toddler will go crazy being cooped up. If that doesn't help, try directing his energy to something more constructive like pounding clay or hammering those pegs in holes toys. When its time to settle down get him to do something more calm like coloring with crayons (crayola washables are best), finger painting, soft music, or teach him to take a few deep breaths. One of my boys never sat down to read a book until he was almost 2, so just pointing at pictures and teaching him what they are, what sound they make, what color, etc would be good bonding time. Make sure you do those activities together because with you working all day, he may just be acting out to get more attention from you. Oh and I've also found making up songs for day to day activities helps a lot like "everybody clean up...." it really gets them in the mood to actually help out. Hang in there, you're not alone, and if you watch those nanny shows on tv, you know others out there have had it worse and survived!

Oh and a note on daycare, its not necessary if you talk to your mom and make whatever changes to his day that needs to be made because children don't exactly "play" with other kids until they're about 3-4 years old, young toddlers tend to play by themselves more (or with adults) or play next to kids, not really with them.

Answer 7

Are you talking about my son??? LOL! He is the exact same. Very hyper and hard to control. My son is 2 years, 4 months and i think they all do seem to go through a stage of that. The independence that they seek and always trying to get their own way. I used to think it was only my son who would kick his shoes off if he couldn't get what he wanted or took the straps off in the buggy but lately ive been seeing alot of kids that are just like my son. My son screams and cries as if im torturing him also even if its just to get him in his buggy - my neighbours must think im bashing him the way he screams.

Best way to get through this is try to ignore the bad behaviour and praise the good. However hard it is and do not give in. About the sleep - What sort of routine do you have for him? It took me a while to start getting my son down earlier but its worked and now hes getting enough sleep. His routine is 6pm bath, 7pm -story time and we will sit and chat for 15 mins, a cup of milk, teeth brushed then bed at 7.30pm.
Does he stay over at your mums when your at work? Thats when my son started his nonsense when he stayed at my parents house. It was as if he knew "oh im at nannies house, she will not give me into trouble for being naughty"

Only you know if daycare is a good idea for your son. My son goes to nursery 3 days a week and loves it. I think it has given him a lot more confidence and his speech has came on exceptionally well.

Good luck hope he starts sleeping for you.

Answer 8

Make sure she is doing activities with him during the day..physical..like walking, playing ball..etc. And make sure he isn't napping all day.

My mom takes care of my son. The last 2 wks my son doesn't want to go to bed. I found out he has been napping way too late. I made her cut his naps back. He takes a morning nap around 10 a.m. THen another around 2:00. He's not allowed to sleep past 3:00. And now I asked her to take him to the park to run around EVERYday.

I do suggest putting him in a class. My son goes to "My Gym" every Sat morning and once during the week. He loves it. He may need to be around other kids..but not day care. If he is hyper you need to make sure he is well taken care of and given the proper attention or it could make it worse..

Also talk to your doctor, there could be something in his diet that is making him behave this way. May sound crazy..but very true.

Answer 9

I have a little crazy one myself. Toddlers love stickers! I bought a sticker chart with chores and added that if she listens to her parents and doesn't say no she gets a sticker for that too! I have been doing it for a week and loves it!
Put your child even part time in a preschool/daycare. Being able to socialize with other children on a daily basis and having other adults to learn from also helps teach them and burns off excess energy. It has taught mine a lot of discipline, and at the end of the day she misses me and is a sweet girl!

Answer 10

it probably wont get any better for a few years, and i doubt daycare will help his behavior. i think he should start learning what a punishment is so he will have a reason to be a bit more behaved... i guess time out will be a good start, but i would leave him in the corner until he's quiet for five minutes, not just put him there for five minutes. if he's a picky eater (doubt it) and wont eat unless he gets what he wants, just say it's what your feeding him or nothing at all....and no matter what he does, DONT GIVE IN TO HIS CRYING!!!!!!


GOOD LUCK!