How do you discipline your children?

Question

I'm going to be a new parent soon, and I just want to get some ideas on disciplining children. Serious Answers only please.

Answer 1

time outs, and taking away privleges.

Answer 2

It's just as important to reward you child for good behavior as it is to discipline them for bad. How you do both will change as the child ages. Babies don't get discipline. They cry and it will bother you and that's just tuff because that's what you signed up for. When they start doing things like pulling your hair or grabbing your jewelery it's not to be bad, it's just curiosity.
When a child is 2-3ish it is very important to establish who's in charge because some children will test you to see just how much they can get away with. First you should never just go spank a child when they do something wrong. They need to be told NO first and it might work well to give them something else to do. An *** beating that raises welts and leaves hand prints is never acceptable or called for but when a child has been warned not to do something and they defiantly do it anyway they need a swat or two on the butt. If you call them and they run away from you, same thing. Then when the crying stops you calmly sit with the child and tell them why they can't do that. Explain why something might be dangerous. If you spanked your child then you better have a good reason for it. Even small children can understand more than most people think. Giving answers like "because I said so" doesn't explain anything. Saying "because you could get hurt" or "you might break something" will make more sense to them and give them proper guidelines. You want your child to be able to decide right and wrong on their own so give them the knowledge to do that.
I have 2 adult children. Each of them was spanked a total of twice. They needed it. After that all I had to do is ask them if they needed another. Since we already established that I wasn't bluffing, they generally didn't push the issue. I never had to do it again.

Answer 3

Use the time out chair:
When your child misbehaves explain what she’s done wrong, tell her that her behaviour is unacceptable, and warn her that if she behaves in the same way again, she’ll be put on the Naughty Mat. Make sure your voice remains calm, not angry, and use a low, authoritative tone. Are you somewhere which is particularly triggering the situation? If your child is always difficult in the supermarket or the cafe, try to get her involved more in what you're doing, and make sure you keep communicating. Or is your child tired or hungry? See if you can help resolve her frustration and move her on to another activity or use the Involvement Technique to diffuse the situation. If she misbehaves again, find a suitably quiet corner and immediately put her on the Naughty Mat. Explain clearly why she is there and how long she must stay there (one minute per year of her age). Don't feel shy if people stare - much better to calmly use the Mat than to lose your temper with her! If she comes off the Naughty Mat, put her back on using gentle but firm movements and keep putting her back onto the step until she realises that you’re committed to keeping her there for the agreed set time. Once your child has completed the agreed set time on the Naughty Mat, crouch down so you’re on the same level, use a low and authoritative tone of voice, and explain why you put her there. Ask her to apologise, and when she does, praise her warmly with a kiss and a cuddle. Say ‘thank you’, go back to what you were doing and forget about the incident. If your child refuses to apologise (or does something like shouts ‘sorry’ in a way which makes you think she probably doesn’t mean it!), continue this technique until she realises that you need a proper apology. But don’t forget the kiss and cuddle at the end!

Answer 4

As a relatively new parent, I completely understand where you're coming from! Discipline does depend on the child-- if your baby is more difficult, you'll have to up the ante. However, do realize that a newborn isn't able to understand discipline until at least 7 months old, if not older. The first thing you need to do is make sure your baby knows that he or she IS the baby and you are the MOMMY! One of the first things children do once they realize they are capable of influencing their world is push their boundaries (meaning, push your buttons!). Make it a habit to talk to your child-- they will understand the difference between conversation and scolding easier that way. I always told my daughter that the naughty things that she was trying to do were a "NO NO NO!!!" Now she points to those things (like the electric outlets, even though we have the safety plugs in) and says "NO NO NO!!!" It's always going to be a work in progress, and the older your child gets, the more inventive you are going to have to become, but just know that once you've established yourself as the parent and your children as the children, it is much easier to enforce discipline regardless of how you decide to do it. Now that my daughter is almost 2, I've instituted the time out (or naughty) corner. When she misbehaves (and trust me, all children, once told a few times, remember what they shouldn't do), I ask her if she is going to stop, or does she want to go in time out. She invariably says no (even if she doesn't stop), so I remove her from the not so good behavior and tell her that we're stopping so she doesn't have to go in time out. I've never had to spank her and hope I never will, but each child is different and it's completely up to you, as long as you use it to discipline and NOT when you're angry. I'm the oldest of 8 children and have probably seen more re: raising children than most parents!!

Answer 5

We use the growing kids god's way plan. It is by Gary & Marie Ezzo. They also wrote BabyWise, which a wonderful program. A related, but not christian, parenting program is the baby whisperer.

As a parent of two kids, I found that a routine makes life much more predictable, stable, and easy to manage.

The greatest advice I received as a new parent was, if you have a loving, happy marriage, your children will be loving and happy well adjusted kids. I know from personal experience that if my marriage is going through a rocky period, my kids start going through a rocky period. So my advice is, remember to place a priority on your marriage, even though you may feel like every ounce of your energy should go to your child. We had family baby sit, and found a wonderful sitter through our church. That gives us a least 2 date nights a month. We also practice "couch time" which is about 10 minute every day where my husband and I just sit and talk about our day. This has taught our girls that my husband and I are on the same team which gives them security and (at least from my perspective) give us significantly fewer discipline problems.

By the way, infants don't need discipline, just a routine so they can develop healthy expectations.

Answer 6

As a single mother of 3 children, I used to do a lot of yelling and physical punishment because I was at my wits end. However, I've found alternative methods that work amazingly well. My kids are happy and I have much more peace in my family.

There are two books that I recommend. The first book is the alternative method I was talking about, which made all the difference in the world! It's called: "Mom Dollar Money". The second is a good overall way for understanding your child, which will help you in dealing with them as well. It's also very complementary to the first book. It's called "The Whole Brain Child". These two books are magical! They have seriously changed my family's life!

Answer 7

Its tough to say. I definitely don't agree with spanking under the age of 3. But after that sometimes its warranted. Groundings and the like work well as they grow older but I have found that "timeouts" don't. If a child learns that if he/she does anything wrong and all that happens is a little time in their rooms then they are more likely to do wrong, no matter what anyone says. Teenagers, spankings of course aren't going to work and sometimes groundings don't either so you just have to stay on top of things and know what your child is up to. I'm not saying put GPS on them just learn who their friends are and where they go and all. That's about all I have, I do have 3 kids by the way, a set of twins and a daughter, I'm not some ignorant guy off the street who thinks he knows it all.

Answer 8

We used time out when they were younger, usually a minute for each year of age. We also used natural consequences. If you won't share X, then X gets taken away. If you won't clean your room, then everything you don't put up gets taken away. Once they get older, taking away privileges (such as video games, computer, etc...) works very well. As they get older you have to find what their "currency" is, what they really value, and use that as a discipline tool.

And good luck to you. Raising kids is the hardest, yet most rewarding, job you will ever have!

Answer 9

There is a wonderful book by James Gillcrist called One Two Three Magic! It is the best tool I have every seen. Please read it and keep it close. As far as babies are concerned, Positive Discipline: the First Three Years: from Infant to Toddler - Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child (Paperback)
by Jane ed.D. Nelsen (Author), Cheryl Erwin (Author), Roslyn Ann Duffy (Author) I hope this helps. Libraries are free check it out.

Answer 10

They key is consistency. Make realistic rules and have realistic expectations as soon as they are able to communicate. Don't "let them off the hook", although you will be tempted. This creates problems down the line. Make them "do the time for the crime". You don't have to be cruel, but children need boundaries. If you establish them when they are small and have clear and consistent consequences, you will avoid all the bigger problems later.

Trust is VERY important. Don't give it away so easily. If your child lies to you, don't be so quick to forget (although you can forgive). Let them know that they have to re-earn your trust.

Don't worry so much about popularity for your children. Instead, focus on helping them to establish close and true friendships. Those are the ones that really count and it will help to avoid "shallow" personal relationships as they grow to adulthood.

Good luck! I know you will do just great!

Answer 11

well, i am a fan of going with whatever works for your kid.

there are parents that will chastize you for doling out a spanking on occasion, even for the majorly heinous crimes of a 3 year old. some will put the "time-out" on a pedastal. others will tell you that redirection is the key to a well behaved child.

me, i like them all for various reasons. they all have their time and place, but they all work with different kids. i have a neice who is so inquisitive, that if you try to redirect her when she is getting into something she shouldn't she will look right at you and, while smiling, stick that key in the light socket. not a true story, but very close to reality if she had a key and a lightsocket available. HOWEVER, if you told her she better not or else she will get a time-out...WELL, that key would hit carpet and she would be shaking her head "no, no, no timeout. please."
oh, she understands.

now, my best friend has a little boy that is a born bully. he is very strong willed and has tested mom and dad from birth, it seems. so, for them, spanking was a last resort, but now, it's the only thing that will keep the kid in check. it's not an all out production. it's a simple swat on the backside with a sten "no, we don't ______". they tried many forms of discipline, but nothing received results like the occasional swat.

now, as for my kid...well, he's only 4.5 months old, so there's no disciplining going on now...just hugs and kisses and lots of bottles.!

so, there's lots of ways to correct your kid, i would wait to see what works best for you and your little one. use your mommy instincts.

take care.