How long should it take me to get over my moms death?

Question

Mymom died almost a year ago before my 16th Birthday and I am still really deprese about it and only cried about it the first night of the accident with out any one knowing about it and lately I just been eatting like a pig which cause me to go from 104lbs to 118lbs. And I just feel like a spoil brat now who dosen't get enough attention.Plase Don't suggest counsoling I can't stand counsours I had to lie to two or three of my school counsours and said I already been to counsouring .

i DID TEEL PEOPLE THE REASON SHE DIED WAS SORT OF MY FAULT

Answer 1

It should take you as long as it takes you. Losing a relative is a hard thing as it is, but especially your mother. I would be absolutely DEVASTATED if that happened to me. Don't let anyone tell you that it's been long enough. Though I think that counseling wouldn't be a bad idea because you will just be able to get everything out in the open.

Answer 2

My mom died when I was 26, that was almost 9 years ago and I am still not over it. But you learn to deal with it. 1st there is nothing you can do about so you need to realize that and that she is an a good place. 2nd you go through different stages, grief, depression, anger. You have a right to go through all of that but blaming yourself doesn't help. You need to go talk to someone-try an outside counselor not a a school one. I did and it helped. Maybe there is other kids in your school that have had a parent die and you can talk to them or a family member.
You sound very depressed and not going to get help will only worsen it.
Honey, it is hard and painful but cherish your memories and move on. Your mom would want that for you. Just because you laugh and are happy doesn't mean you don't miss her. Somedays I miss my mom so much my heart hurts but I know she is with me every step of the way.
good luck

Answer 3

I know how hard it is!!!! I lost my mum in September just a few days after my birthday and I hate talking to counsellors too!!!!

Find a friend, relative or someone that you can talk to, its really important to express how you feel. I think that you need to have a good cry! Just let it out, I have gone mental a few times just ask my boyfriend.

Make up a scrap book for your mum so that when you miss her the most you can have a look at it. Take up a sport, I recommend something like boxing or kickboxing or get a punching bag so that you can release your anger and grief in a safe manner (for everyone!,). Have one goal a day and aim for it....today i will go for a 30 min walk.......this weekend i will go to that party and have fun....I really believe that your mum wouldn't want to see you unhappy. When you feel like comfort eating try doing something else to keep you busy, i know its easier said than done.

Maybe try getting a mentor someone who is not a councellor but can give you advise and support when you need it, then when you feel that you are up for it you can become a mentor yourself and help others.

*Basically a mentor is someone a normal person who can help you out in tough times by offering support and help you to reach your full potential..they can be a teacher, minister, family friend or even just someone you know who inspires you, if you dont know any try some organisations.Try some of these sites..or search mentoring for teens for one in your local area.

I don't suggest telling fibs its just not going to do any good. Don't blame yourself...it was her time. If it wasn't she would have survived there are somethings in this life that we have limited control over.

http://www.teenhelp.org/
http://www.americaspromise.org/General.aspx?id=68
http://www.cisnet.org/default.asp
http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.diJKKYPLJvH/b.1634649/k.A20F/Youth_organization__Mentoring_Programs_from_Big_Brothers_Big_Sisters.htm

Answer 4

There are 5 stages of grief and everyone goes through them at their own pace however if they get stuck in one and are unable to move on like it sounds you are there are major repercussions and you need to get support not necessarily counseling but just someone who has been there done that. Love is supposed to be selfless but it is one of the most selfish things this planet has ever known. Depression is common and is a stage it's called sadness, and so what if you go from 104 to 118 just keep it reasonable ok, don't go from 104 to 170, in like 3 months. Just grieve, maybe you don't know how, that's ok but it's not ok too, you need to let it out, and maybe not now or here but when it's the proper time and place it'll come.

Answer 5

Truthfully, you really never get over someone's death. Its always going to be in the back of your mind. Certain things you do and certain things that happen can bring thoughts of your mom back to you.

My grandmother died in 2002 when I was in basic training, and every Christmas since then its very hard because she's not here anymore, so to me its just not Christmas anymore.

Counciling really doesn't help either, every person deals with a loss a certain way. Try doing some extra activities with friends or relatives to help take your mind off of the problem.

Loosing a family member, or friend never goes away, you just have to learn to move on and enjoy your life and be closer to your loved ones because one day they might not be there.

Answer 6

You will never "get over" your mother's death. The happiest days of your life will make you cry because you will always wish your mom could have been there. But this is good news. This sadness it an everlasting mark of your love for your mother and her love for you. It is okay to feel so sad, but would your mother want that for you? She can't live, she can't go out with friends, she can't see new movies. You can, and she would want you to. She would not have wanted you to die. So don't just stop living your life. It seems so wrong and so hard to do "normal" things when you have lost someone. Why hasn't the world just stopped? The truth is that life and love include loss, but that is what makes them so wonderful and so precious. Do you realize that you will love your future husband and children and friends so much more than someone who has never lost a loved one.
You mother gave you life, and she would want you to live it.
You don't have to talk to a counselor, they can really suck. Find a friend or an adult you admire to talk to, you would be surprised how much better you will feel.

Answer 7

It will take a while to get over your mom's death and to an extent you will never fully get over it, especially if you were really close to her. My uncle/godfather died almost nine years ago and I still cry about it sometimes. When certain things remind you of the person you lost, it is ok to miss them. But, if you are changing the way you are living, do you really think your mom would have wanted you to do that or for you to be unhappy? It's ok to mourn for the loved ones you lose, but after a while, you just have to try to keep doing things that make you happy. Just remember, even though it doesn't feel like it now, things will get better. Just keep your chin up.

Answer 8

You sound depressed. Maybe it's more than just sadness from your mother's death. Are there any other things you are sad about? I'm not comfortable talking to other people about my problems either. Yet I get depressed a lot. Maybe phoning a help line like Kid's Help Phone? You don't have to see a counselor if you feel uncomfortable. Find a hobby that makes you feel good about yourself and keeps you from having these feelings. Excercise boosts your mood and same with dancing. Just have fun like no one is watching. Having the time of your life with your closest friends where there aren't many people will allow you to crack up and goof around. Good luck, friend!

Answer 9

First I want to say I am sorry you lost your mom. I think I would go crazy if I lost mine. Second, there isn't any set time limit on how long the grieving process takes.....especially since it was someone so close to you. My grandfather died almost 10 years ago and things about that still gets to me sometimes. Once again I am sorry that you lost someone that important to a young girl. Good luck with school and life.

Answer 10

I don't know if you ever get over the loss of a parent. Especially at such a young age. The feelings you are having are normal, but you should try talking to friends or family just to get some of your feelings out. Holding them in is just hurting you. Write in a journal. Write letters to your mom. Even though she will not get them, it will help you with how you are feeling. Good luck.