do you buy flowers for a funeral?

Question

one of my friends Matt died in a car crash last week and his funeral is on friday iv asked a friend for the number of the place doing the flowers but he never got back to me and i dont want to ask matts mum as shes got lots more on her mind, so now the funerals in 2 days and i dont know what to do, if i buy a bunch of flowers what ones should i get or should i just not take anything? i dont want to turn up trying to find somwhere to put the flowers? but dnt want to turn up with nothing and be insulting, i have been fortunate enough never to have had to gone to any other funerals so am unsure what to do?
Thanks

Answer 1

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend Matt. I totally agree with BetsyB on this. She has some very good advise. I have just buried my second husband and one of the nicest things (concerning flowers) that anyone did for me was to plant a tree in his honor. Maybe you could plant a tree at his mom's house for her in Matt's honor. Just be there for each other and talk about the good times you had with your friend. It will be good for you and Matt's mom will be glad you were a good friend. Bless you, dear one.

Answer 2

If this was a good friend, then you should be focusing on your own mourning and not fussing over etiquette. There is plenty of time to express your condolences in flowers or some other format later: right now, your simple presence at the funeral will be the most healing thing for you and for his family.

If you really feel the need to provide flowers, contact a florist yourself and have them deliver the package. Do not show up at the funeral home or church with a bouquet in hand.

I think, though, that Matt's family will have recieved enough flowers. Prepare a letter to him saying your goodbyes and how much you loved him and place it in his casket (if you can); otherwise, give it to his mother or another relative to be buried with him or to be read by his parents at a later date. This will be a gift to him, to his family, and to yourself.

Answer 3

You have a few options.

1. Don't send anything. Just show up. Matt's mum will be very happy to see you.
2. Send flowers to the funeral home with a note. You can do this through a florist. You don't need to bring them with you. In fact, it is probably better that the florist deliver them. The funeral director knows what to do with the flowers once they arrive.
3. You can send a card to Matt's mum with a check for a sum you think is appropriate. She can use the check for whatever she wants. I did this many years ago when an uncle passed away. My aunt used the money to put it towards his headstone.
4. You can send a check with a sum you can afford to one of many charities in Matt's name. The charity will ask you for Matt's mum's address. She will receive notification that you donated money in Matt's name.

I hope these suggestions help you.

I am very sorry for your loss.

Answer 4

When you find out where the funeral is, as the funeral home where the nearest florist is. The florist usually has arrangements already made. They can send something over immediately. A lot of people contact the funeral home to find a florist. When the florist delivers, the funeral director will find a place to put them. When my Grandfather died, the wake was for 2 days. Flowers kept coming and coming in from the local florist. It was quite nice.

Answer 5

I agree about your presence being enough. I never send flowers anymore. They don't last, and most people don't know what to do with all that they get. Now, I send a nice green plant---not a flowering one, because they don't last either.

Or I give money in a card. But best of all would be a letter to his mom. And you can send that even after the funeral. When my son died, the mom of one of his friends wrote me the nicest letter telling me of the times my son was at her house and what she remembered of him. And a friend of his handed me a letter he had written about the fun times they had together. I remember those things more than who gave what flowers.

I'm sorry for your loss of a friend.

Answer 6

Everytime I've ever ordered flowers for a funeral, I just go to a florist, tell them how much I want to spend & where to take them. They will do the rest. They will let you sign a card or they will sign your name for you. It's pretty simple. If the family of the deceased has requested that donations be made to a cause in lieu of flowers, then do that. If that is what they wish, then find out what "cause", contact them (the organization) and give them whatever donation you wish & request that they let the family know that you did this in lieu of flowers.
Sorry about your friend...hang in there.

Answer 7

For funerals, there is not "A florist" that does the flowers. Everyone just calls the florist they want. Sometimes there can be 3-5 different florist represented. Just call a florist in the area and don't bother anyone with the specifics.

Answer 8

I don't buy flowers because with that money for something that dies, I can make a lasting gift of a donation. Buy a sympathy card. Write a note to his parents on the white left hand side about the best things you liked doing with Matt and you together. Then write a check, or go to Western Union or a bank or Amscott or your parents and have a check for $25 written. If the obit didn't say, " Donations to Name Charity may be made in his name, or Donations to a charity of one's choice may be made in Matt's name, then tell them that you are making this donation in Matt's name to .....the Athletic/Art/Whatever Department at your school. You get the idea? Sorry for your loss. Makes better drivers of young people, doesn't it? Many of us have been through it.

Answer 9

the way it seems to be done, is you find out the funeral home/church where ever funeral/family night is going to be held send flowers. they are usually all in one big room with the casket. then when they take the body to the graveyard they usually have a flower car that takes all the flowers the family bought or have been sent by other. that is how it happen every time i have been to a funeral.

Answer 10

If you have the money, you could call a florist and have them deliver some flowers, if not send a note to the family recalling some good times you shared with Matt.