My wedding was a last minute thing. So, I only had my maid of honor and my daughters in the wedding. When we all went to get our dresses, they only came in pettie sizes. My sister-in-law is like very, very, big and there was no dress for her. That's why I didn't have her as a brides maid. I wanted all the girls to have the same kind of dress. It's been two years since the wedding and she stopped talking to me since then. Soon I found out that she was upset and talking bad about me, because she wasn't in the wedding.
2007-01-31 08:09:16 · 13 answers · asked by MS.LACHEY 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
just let her stew in her own brewed. when she is ready to talk to you then talk to her. as for her talking behind your back, don't lower yourself to her level. just ignore it, and move on with your life.
2007-01-31 10:35:10 · answer #1 · answered by lidakamo 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know EXACTLY what you mean and it sucks. Im getting married Aug.2nd. My soon to be sister n law has taken alot of my ideas and used them for hers and she doesnt even have a date set yet!! She has bought a dress that looks almost identical to mine, she choose my colors to be her colors, even her engagment ring is almost identical. The lastest is she even checked out the place where I am having my wedding so she can do hers there. So what I have done, is stopped all wedding communication from my faince's family. If they ask about "what do I think im gonna do" give them an idea you are not going to use. I dont even talk about my wedding to future mother n law anymore. You have a right to be upset as I did but, you cant lower your standards for them, dont change anything else just explain to your fiance that you want everything to be a suprise to everyone and that you would like for him not to say anything to ANYONE. If he agrees, my what a suprise she will have if she attends your wedding. I hope this helps and I wish you the best of luck with the soon to be sister n law. If you need some ideas or something on what I have done already to disregard the sister n law let me know I will help.
2016-05-23 23:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain that the wedding was a last minute thing and say that you saw the dresses in the right sizes for the people around you-except her. Explain that you did not want to hurt her feelings by making her think that she was going to be a nuisance for having you try to look for her in order to be in your wedding. Yes, it would have been nice if you found a dress that was similar to that one, had it let out to fit her, and then dyed it the same color as the other one. But, you really wanted to get married and you just could not wait and you did not want to wait. So, you saw what you liked, saw it was in the only sizes available in petite and you decided to go for it. Tell her not to get upset. But, you know what, if she is still like this after two years, maybe it was better if she was not in the wedding in the first place if she is going to hold on to this grudge for so long. Imagine if she was in your wedding? Think about that.
2007-01-31 08:56:37 · answer #3 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You were very rude to not include her because of the dress.
If it were a matter of just having your best-friend as a witness/MOH and your daughters because ... well their your daughters... then it would be different.
So - it isn't that you didn't include her that is the problem, but the reason. And if she has any clue that the reason was for something so shallow - then of course she is hurt and angry.
And you may not think she knows, but I'm guessing that somehow that she at least suspects.
You should have told her gently at the time that you were keeping the bridal party very very small and that you would be happy to have include her in another way.
But you didn't, so you have some major making up to do.
2007-01-31 09:41:32 · answer #4 · answered by apbanpos 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes it was not a good way to start out in a new family to scorn the new sister in law.
Yes it was your wedding but if you thought enough to have your own sister in it then why wouldn't you compromise alittle for your new extended family. You have to sit her down and talk to her because 2 years is to long to still be angry about this.
2007-01-31 10:49:21 · answer #5 · answered by Maybe I am a smartass..so what 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I'd be mad at you too!
Not having her as a bridesmaid, especially if she's your groom's sister, just because you didn't want her in a different dress is petty. What difference would it have made if she wasn't in the same kind of dress? Would it have ruined all your hard work for your last minute wedding? You valued the dresses being all matchy-matchy over her and your relationship with her.
2007-01-31 08:17:17 · answer #6 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Did you do wrong? My answer is yes. You said the reason you didn't have her in the wedding is b/c she is "very, very big" and that was the reason you didn't have her in it. Pretty shallow don't you think? I wouldn't talk to you anymore either.
2007-01-31 10:45:44 · answer #7 · answered by MelB 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should have included her! The dress could have been custom made for her! You could of just gone to a different place and they would probably mad her one just like the ones you were probably wearing! I know it would hurt my feelings if i was not included in my brother wedding!
2007-01-31 08:30:31 · answer #8 · answered by ♥**Me**♥ 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
well i think that was wrong, you should always put the sister in law in your wedding, she might be upset that the only reason she couldnt be in it was cuz of her size, there are dress that will match you could have compormised...you should talk to her about it, you guys are family now it's been two years it's time to end it.
2007-01-31 08:16:21 · answer #9 · answered by CRAZY 8 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Perhaps you should sit her down and just explain to her what happened. Try to mend the relationship best you can. Maybe invite her on a shopping trip or out to dinner for a "girls night"
2007-01-31 08:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'd be upset at you as well that you didn't include me because of my size.
You should go talk to her and let her let it out and hopefully mend the relationship.
You could have found a dress that fit on petite women and bigger girls.
2007-01-31 09:06:03 · answer #11 · answered by Terri 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋