Spanking? What do you think?

Question

to spank or not to spank. I dont think there is anything wrong with a littl swat on the -ss when your child does not behave. You warn them once, you warn them twice, after that a little boot in the bottom never hurt anyone. Im not saying to keep swatting. one little swat will do the trick. And that is after two warnings. This time out crap is just that, crap. What do you think?

Answer 1

Exactly..time outs are crap. If sitting is punishment, I'm being punished right now. When I was younger, I wasn't told to go sit--I got spanked so hard I couldn't sit!

I think spankings are fine..there's a difference between spanking and beating.

Answer 2

well... I believe in spanking as long as the parent doesn't have a history of violence like when he was a kid, and got beaten and mistreated, and such.... cuz for those it's very hard to draw the line where it ends. They carry some emotional scars that never completely heal. So says the research.
But I am more like, into hand switching. Degrees of that vary, but I have only two. - one for defiant disobedience, and 2 for lying.
I don't punish until I make sure they understood the request and are able to perform it.
I don't punish for good intent but missed on the way to go about doing it.
I always give 3 warnings.
I always talk before spanking
I always hug afterward.
I never spank when I am angry.
and a few more.

I really disagree with the government telling people that they can't spank their children. The correctional facilities have failed to make better people out of the rebellious ones and most of them don't care. I think, as parents, we spank because we care. That's the down payment a kid understands. When it's over, it's paid for, the kid is happy and respects you.
Spanking shows love. Kids thrive on rules and them enforced. They feel secure when they have limits and boundaries. They rebel otherwise. The occasional rebelling is a test for the parent, and the way the parent deals with it, is an assurance or discouragement for the kid.
A spanked kid will have a strong sense of belonging.
A non-spanked kid, or never punished, will rebel, will grow to be dysfunctional in some ways or more ways, it's worst than abusing the kid, actually.
Love and hate are strong feelings, but being ignored or neglected, is the worst you can do to someone. A kid should never have to put up with that.
So I do agree with spanking, within reason, never with abuse.
In all fairness, I really hate spanking, but I do have a strong sense of responsibility and know better. I like the time out better, because it doesn't affect me as much, and yet, that's selfish.

Answer 3

I think it depends on the child. I have 6. For some, spanking (like you said, just a little swat) worked well. For others, it didn't really deter the undesirable behavior and timeouts worked better.

You can also take away privileges like TV.

Also, positive reinforcement (e.g. an extra half hour of TV, and extra helping of dessert, etc) is a good technique.

Answer 4

I'm not into the spanking. I think it teaches the child that hitting and anger are the way to deal with issues in life. I don't give two and three chances. If I tell my daughter once and she does it again, she immediately loses the toy, sits on the stairs, is removed from the store, etc. She knows now that she doesn't get to mess up three times, she knows I mean business. And I have no problem letting her have a fit of anger if she's mad at me. That's life.

The only exception is when she ran out into the street without looking. I gave her a nice swat on the butt for that because it was important that she knows that is very dangerous and it can hurt her very much. I wanted her to associate running in the street with pain.

Answer 5

I only spank if my kid does something that is very dangerous, ie runs out in the street or very hurtful to someone else. Otherwise I give one warning and use timeout. I used to think that timeout was a bunch of BS, but if you use it consistently and after one warning and EVERY time that you say you are going to it works like a dream.

Answer 6

Time out works excellent for my 3 children. I am consistent with it. I also remove privileges as well. I don't use pain to teach a lesson. It is too negative and I don't believe it is a positive, motivational way to teach my children about respect, empathy and control. I want them to have high self-esteem and not to think that hitting is the way to solve problems. We get compliments on how well behaved they are. My children don't fear me, they listen and respect me and I want to keep it that way. It just takes brain work and education on child development. So I disagree that time out is crap. If it doesn't work for you, you are obviously doing something wrong. It works for Supernanny and all professional childcare workers. You don't see daycare staff spanking or teachers spanking. Why, because it is a bad way to teach.

Answer 7

to not discipline is wrong.
Some children can be disciplined without being spanked. I have babysat them.
Mine however was very stubborn and the only deterrant that works for her is a spanking or the threat of one. So all these people that think a child can be disciplined without spanking are not always right.
It just depends on the child's personality and what works.

Answer 8

I agree. I was spanked when I was a kid and I have no permanent damage. In fact I was better behaved because I knew not to misbehave. I agree with you, all that reasoning with your kid about what they have done wrong and sending them to time out doesn't do anything when they are too young to comprehend. I feel that the discipline needs to change with age. Just like my mom wouldn't spank me at 16 because it would hurt more to be grounded from the things I had.

Answer 9

There is absolutely nothing wrong with spanking. If done right it is very effective. I also use other parenting techniques as well like that "time out crap". I never have to warn twice either.

Answer 10

you said it the best....a swat can teach a child a lot if a verbal warning is not helping none...I know there are plenty of children who act up and public and they only reason why they do that is because the parent does not teach them manners inside the home...children have to learn that there is no time to act out in public or do things when I (the parent) tells them no to do it... SO i say swat away...it will only help the child become well mannered and be honored that you were their parent once they start having children of their own.

Answer 11

I think that spanking is OK because to a baby or toddler, its the only way to teach them. I think that if the child is 6 or 7 and younger, you should spank them, but if they are older than that, you should ground them. If you do ground them ground them for either 1 thing they love for a long period of time or everything electronic and seeing friends for a short amount of time.