I really need your help ...extremely Graphic?

Question

Approx 18 months ago my ex and I were on our way home, he was driving, When we saw something laying in the road, he stopped and we realised it was a woman- She'd been hit by a car,
I got our mobile to call for help as my hubby was seeing what to do ie the traffic, it was a really busy road, as he was doing so 3 cars went over her and her head was on her leg,
I grabbed my 2 daughters and ran them into the nearest house [I was also 5 months pregnant] and I came back outside as they were covering the body.
A couple of months later I realised what a complete sod I'd married, he was before the accident but I didn't realise, he was violent.So I left him.
I thought I'd got over the accident, I passed my driving test and yesterday I got my car,
But I can't cope, It's like Grand theft auto in my head, I need to drive as I have kids but I feel completly useless
I'm usually much tougher than this, but since stalling the car today I've been a wreck.

Answer 1

You witnessed a traumatic event, the death of another human being, and you yourself were the victim of violence at the hands of someone close to you. I would suggest that you see a mental health professional to discuss these issues. You may have post-traumatic stress issues, or other things going on that are making your more fearful and anxious than you need to be.
Yes, that woman's death was horrible and ugly. Yes, when you drive a car you risk being injured or killed, but you risk that every time you walk down the street. Being a good driver will lower your risk of accident, and your comfort level will increase with practice. As to the horrible images, you need to develop coping mechanisms for that, and for that you need a mental health professional to give you stratagies.

Answer 2

For now..... give yourself a rest and don't be critical of your feelings, what you've described certainly qualifies as trauma.

my first thought is that if public transit is at all an option, use it.

attempt a local mental clinic & see a pro. asap.

talk to friends and family that you know will be supportive & let them know you need help.

focus on the future and start to drive when you can have comfort.... ie low trafic time to and back from the store to build yourself.

good luck.... wow..... intense ... i hope it turns out well

Answer 3

you can only move from this slowly but surely. It will take time to get over this. Please consult a priest and a therapist. Do something everyday to make you happy and not think of the bad things. We all experience bad things, but if we can get over them, more power to us! I hope you and your children have a happy and less troubled life.