I am depressed with my family situation!?

Question

My family does not talk to one another, its like they are divided in Groups. Its all over money issues. I get really really depressed to see that nobody talkd to one another, its almost like hatred. I fear the day that my Grandma passes becuase I feel like there is a whole bunch of people just waiting to attack and blame her death on us. Because thats what they always do. Everytime she gets sick or something, they blame it on us. Yet, they never ask for her or even come pick her up, once in a blue moon. I am depressed.

Answer 1

You need to document their behavior and keep a record of their words and their actions (ex. visits or lack thereof). This will be a good defense for you later on.

Also, it's hard to accept and I know how depressing it must be but some people are really negative. They are not worth your time. You are doing a wonderful, admirable thing in assuming the responsibility of caring for your Grandma. I respect you for that as I know it isn't an easy task. Best wishes dear!!!

Answer 2

First off you should try to get help for your own depression. If you think it is becoming a debilitating issue you need to get professional help. About your family, first off I am really sorry, second you should sit down with them face to face and talk about it. Phone conversations and e-mails just don't do the trick. When you think about all the important things you do in your life, proposals, job interviews, they're all done in person. It wouldn't be the same otherwise. Everything could just be a misunderstanding. Tell them how they can help out with grandma if they are so worried. Explain all the things you are already doing. Don't be quick to point fingers though, that just makes everything worse. Avoid saying 'you' in harsh tones, or followed by something negative. Don't be overly submissive though, decide where you want to pick your fights. All you can do is your best....a pint can't hold a quart, if it's holding a pint, it's doing all that is expected of it. Good luck :)

Answer 3

Well my family like yours is divided, though on the outside we appear strong it seems like on my dad's side, at one time or another everybody has turned on my immediate family. They didn't invite us to family functions, talked about us behind our backs, and did more things. That did hurt us. But we started to depending on each other. I have eight sisters and two parents that I know love me and that's all that matters. Take care of your grandmother, do your best to make the little time or the rest of her life the best days. Do whatever you can and don't waste your time with follish family members who can do nothing to point the finger. Take your stregnth from your parents or whoever you're with that loves you and your grandmother. Let them do what they want, just make sure that you and your do the right thing. Being depressed or feeling sorry for yourselves won't help anything or make anything better. Your grandmother's death will probably wake them up, even if it doesn't, let it wake you up. Don't be foolish or treat anyone you love bad or leave them out in the cold, don't let stupid things get in the way of how you treat them, because you don't know how long or they have. I wish you all the luck sweetie, and if you ever need to talk I am here.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, you cannot make people get along! BUT, there is something you can do to help the situation - be positive! Only speak positively about all family members! DO NOT get involved in the money issues! Talk to your Grandmother about these feelings... She knows what's going on, trust me! And she probably needs someone to talk to too! Misery loves company, I'd say stay away from the negitive... You'll feel better about this as long as you don't play into the same selfish greed!

Answer 5

number one, don't be depressed, this is not your fault, some of your family sound a bit selfish, money will tear the strongest people apart. Money will also make people show their true colors. Just enjoy your grandma while she is here, it is not your job to hold the family together. Life is to short, to dwell on things that you have no controll. If you feel that you can do something about it, then get up and do it. Its worth a try! keep your head, scout!!

Answer 6

Its not your problem and its not your fault! You shouldn't get depressed over something like this because your family refuses to work things out! Besides, its nice that you're taking on the responsibilities by taking care of your grandmother when no one else would! Also, its best to talk to them about this issue and tell them how you feel! Good luck to you!

Answer 7

Oh honey, i'm so sorry for you. it incredibly is a confusing challenge to long for something you have never experienced yet be conscious of exists. possibly college beginning could be a sturdy element in spite of the undeniable fact that. Make an appointment with the college counselor. it's going to take some braveness, yet she could have techniques. If there is abuse on your place she is legally required to record it, yet forget is now and back much greater painful emotionally. Do you have a grandmother? Do you have a chum with sturdy mothers and fathers you are able to talk in self assurance to? Do you have a youthful women persons church group you are able to attend? you're sensible to look for education. you will possibly not be able to alter your challenge at living house, yet possibly you will detect yet in any different case...God bless.

Answer 8

It sounds to me like your family is manipulative and self centered. Those that care about someone would spend time with them and ensure their physical care. Your family stands back and plays the blame game. My suggestion to you is to take as good care as you can of your Grand Mother while she is living. If you've done your best then there can be no guilt. Your family on the other hand will be full of remorse and guilt and will try to take it out on you. Everyone will have to answer for their own behavior when the time comes.

Also, whenever they try to throw anything regarding your Grand Mother or her care, bluntly remind them that they are always welcome to come visit with her or take her at anytime. You can also slip in the old... Grandma hasn't seen you in ..... days/weeks I'm sure she'd like to hear from you. I'll be there as usual. Sometimes people need to be reminded of their on failings. Good Luck.

Answer 9

You could be the negotiator in this situation, if it means this much to you.. Get everyone to sit down and find out the root of the problem (its probably the money). If you don't then there is little else for you to do, because people who want to fight will take any reason to start one. I sympathize with you my father's side of the family is the same way.

Answer 10

Please get the book, "Losing a Parent, practical help for you and other family members" by Fiona Marshall.

This really is practical help ... from dealing with ppl of different ages, status in the family, terminall illness (anticipating death), abandoned-child grief, inheritance, what maturing without them will be like.

Yes, this is your grandma ... but this book is easy to read (8th grade level), and will help you understand where other family members are feeling. I have faith in the love that you've demonstrated in this question ... and this inner love will pull you and your family through this life change. God bless.