Me & My Fiance are both Christian (Pentecostal)-- We are getting married Feb 10th. My family are not Christian ..His is!!...I am having a DJ at my wedding and I picked out all the songs that we both enjoy( Me & My fiance)..his family does not believe this is right but I dont see anything wrong with some good music..oldies..electric slide...all those type..I like getting Jiggy with it!--- as long as it is not in no kind of sexual undertone rude manner..(there will be kids there)& plus thats just not my thing! WHY is it that his family has such issues!! with this music situation..Those are not my convictions! or my Fiance!...if they would like they dont have to stick around for the party..if they feel strongly about it... Isnt it our day!! and a reminder I will be playing Christian music too....arent we suppose to be of example... we arent suppose to look down on people of other faiths.......
2007-01-31 07:50:09 · 13 answers · asked by sarapereznj 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I had a similar predicament when I got married several years ago (I am divorced now, but that's another story). We were both Christians and got married in the church. The wedding coordinator told us we could have music at the reception, but that it had to be something like "Onward Christian Soldiers"! Okay, I don't know if you are familiar with that song or not, but c'mon - a song about being soldiers for God at a wedding reception? I mean the song mentions the word "war". Needless to say, we ended up not having any music at our reception because we could not agree with the coordinator about the music, and since she was employed by the church, her ideas ruled. That was a bummer.
It is YOUR wedding - NOT your parents', nor his parents'. It's fine to respect the feelings of all concerned, but still, it is your wedding and your fiance's wedding. You sound like you already have it all worked out. His parents need to respect your wishes and your fiance's wishes. They are being unreasonable. You are not required to do things their way, yet you are being considerate enough to compromise. They need to do the same. What do they think you will be doing on your wedding night - having tea and cookies? There is no sin in dancing to lively music. There is nothing wrong with secular music at a Christian wedding. Now, if you were dirty dancing, then I could see how that could be a problem. I would suggest that if you have a wedding coordinator or the pastor who will be marrying you, that you ask that person if they could sit down with both sets of parents and establish "ground rules". These rules could include that whatever music is approved by the church is what goes - period - end of story. This way, as long as your church doesn't have a problem with your music selection (don't know why it would), then THEY can be the "heavy" to whatever set of parents is having an issue, and you can relax and enjoy your day. Another good ground rule is to not put undue pressure on the bride and groom to please the parents, since it is THEIR wedding day - not the parents' day. Many wedding officiants, whether a person is getting married in a church or not, are happy to lay out these ground rules. This is a memorable day for the bride and groom - YOUR wishes should override those of the parents. Now if they are paying for the wedding etc., then as long as you are respectful in how you tell them your views, then that is all you can do. If they hold money over your head in that case, then 1) they are not behaving as Christians, and 2) you might want to consider paying for their share yourselves. 3) Finally, your fiance's parents need to remember that their attitude could be a stumbling block for those who are not Christians who are attending the wedding. If non-Christians must listen to Christian music, then it will be a turn-off to them and give them a negative impression of Christians to not have music that they too can enjoy as well. They need to consider that.
Best wishes for your upcoming marriage, and congratulations!
2007-01-31 08:18:42 · answer #1 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I just had a wedding.... whew that was fun. :-) I guess pray and go with your own conscience. Maybe seeking advice from a specific person you trust; like your pastor.
This will be the best advice: DO NOT SHOW MANY PEOPLE THE PLAY LIST BEFORE THE WEDDING!!! LOL- so many people want their two cents in, and have a lot of opinions and judgements.
But bottom line: this is your wedding. As long as the lyrics / artists are not promoting anything ungodly (ie, no Lil' John), and you've prayed and feel the songs are in line with your conscience and will not harm.... well what else is there????
We played a lot of old school Motown, because it's good to dance to and not ridiculous like a lot of today's music, and a few early 90s songs to take back the 20s folks. We also had Kirk Franklin, Fred Hammond, and Ce Ce Winans. It worked out! :-)
2007-01-31 08:01:28 · answer #2 · answered by peacetimewarror 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I completely agree with your feelings on the subject. One, it is your day, period. Two, when my wife and I got married there were many strong Christians at the party and they had no problem with the music. Music is just that, entertainment. I feel that as long as you don't have music that is offensive to the normal person, meaning music that uses profanity or sexual or drug refrences then you should be okay. If the problem keeps on going then maybe you should sit down with his family and seriously discuss it if you haven't already. You have two choices though, either go with what you want on YOUR day, or play the low road and find even more Christian music to play and use artists such as Grits, KJ52, and other bands like that to fill the gap in music style. Good luck with this and I hope your wedding day is amazing!
2007-01-31 07:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by Chase 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is anything wrong with playing that kind of music at your reception. It's not satanic music, it's not talking about killing people, or getting drunk. There's nothing wrong with it. While I know you want to respect his family, it is your day.
All of the weddings at my church have been the same as what you are describing. Oldies are always safe, and who can go wrong with the electric slide? Best wishes!
2007-01-31 07:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by cnm 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The issue is that your future in-laws are more conservative that you and their son are. It boils down to "seeing as God sees." What I mean is that they view music through God's eyes, and therefore there is a rightness and wrongness to music. There is good music and there's bad.
Their issue with the music comes from 2 Cor 6:14, swhich says, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"
I don't think they are looking down, rather trying to look up.
2007-01-31 08:02:20 · answer #5 · answered by oh nedla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cave in. You know you're not doing anything wrong. I jumped through all kinds of hoops to make my fundy family happy and nobody had a good time at my wedding or remembers it in a good way. I regret it, primarily because they turned "our" wedding into THEIR wedding. It didn't reflect my spouse and I at all!
They've expressed their opinion. But it's YOUR decision. They need to now show they respect you and can treat you like the adult that you are.
2007-01-31 07:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by Laptop Jesus 2.0 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely your day and you should do everything to enjoy it. That being said put yourself in their shoes. They have a son that they still see as the baby they brought home from the hospital, the memory of his first birthday, his first steps and everything he has done has led them to this day. It is one they also will remember the rest of their days and out of respect for the love they gave this man you now love maybe there is a compromise. Just a thought.
2007-01-31 07:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by royalstarnewwest 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'll make this simple:
If you would feel comfortable with Jesus at your wedding listening to the music, go ahead.
God loves to see his kids grow and have fun--but do it within his boundries.
I'd say doing the 'tootsie-roll' is a bit pushing it.
:)
2007-01-31 08:00:12 · answer #8 · answered by Doug 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am evangelical and I agree with you 100%
As long as the songs are clean, fun and...... are good music that you love!
remember, its YOUR wedding, so have fun and make it a joyous occassion. Dont go around trying to please some people, then have your wedding flop right before your eyes! :)
Its just music! :) play some decent hits and party to your hearts content! good luck!
2007-01-31 07:55:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
They are mistaken that they have a say in the matter. Remind them of that, but you better get used to it if you are marrying into a conservative Pentecostal family.
2007-01-31 07:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by A 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋