Spanking Children?

Question

What is your view of spanking a misbehaving child? Is it abusive and will teach the children that their behavior is not in their own control (which I've read on several parenting websites), or do you think spanking is an appropriate parenting tool to help teach the child to behave?

~~Nao

P.S. I don't want to offend anyone by this question; I'm simply curious.

Answer 1

I view it as appropriate in certain circumstances, such as the child is doing something to put their life or limb in immediate danger, or if they are caught doing something that is otherwise criminal such as stealing. The only time I was ever spanked was under such circumstances. Needless to say, it definitely reinforced the idea. Sure, you can tell your kids stealing is bad, but when they find out that you're gonna warm their butt for stealing, I can guarantee they'll never steal again if they have an ounce of sense. I certainly haven't done it again.

I really doubt most of us that grew up getting a spanking once in awhile for seriously out of line behavior learned that hitting is ok or that violence is ok. I don't go around randomly smacking people or shooting people up because I was spanked, and I'm pretty sure that's how most of us are. There's nothing anyone can do for overly emotionally sensitive children and adults - if it's not the spanking that traumatized them, then it's taking their favorite toy away that traumatized them. The world isn't sunshine and rainbows and trying to represent it to a child that way is setting them up for failure in the real world. You're going to have to deal with consequences for your actions - If you're nasty to your boss, expect to be fired. If you go and flip someone off for no reason, there's going to be retaliatory action. It's no small wonder why my boyfriend is such a push over, I guess. He was raised in an time out instead of spanking for seriously out of line behavior household and the world just walks all over him, and he thinks he's entitled to everything. And oddly enough, he's more prone to angry outbursts than I am.

Using it just because you're having a bad day and your kid is having a bad day isn't ok, it never has been and never will be ok.

No normal or sane parent wants to spank their child, but sometimes it gets the message across better than words or other action. A couple of swats on the bottom is enough if the situation even warrants a spanking.

A child's behavior ISN'T in their control. It's in the parent's control. It's up to the parent to teach a child how to behave. Without the parent teaching the child what is and isn't acceptable, the child will grow up not knowing how to behave.

Answer 2

I think light spanking to a child's hands or bottom are appropriate in some instances -but a good long time out can also be a good tool for discipline.However some children(even some I know of) see the time out as an easy out and still behave badly, because they know all that will happen is a painless time out-so like I said a little spanking is appropriate sometimes.

Answer 3

As a parent of two children -I honestly believe that spanking your children at times is appropriate and then times it is not-The problem with out society today is there is not enough parents that have used that logic and end up wondering why their children grow up treating the parents horrible and the kids are out of control-you do not always have to spank your children -but parents need to be parents and be responsible for teaching thier children the differnce between right and wrong

Answer 4

I think it is a necessary tool. I HATE it though. Any parent who WANTS to spank their child really needs help. But sometimes it's just what has to be done. In our home it is a last resort. There are time outs, there are things that get taken away, places you aren;t allowed to go, groundings...There are rare children that parents never have to take this step with and still grow to be happy, healthy, producitve members of society. And there are those that spanking really will not teach anything to. most children though fall somewhere in the middle. For children that respond to this question, please know that I can GUARANTEE you that your parent cries too when they've had to spank. I know I do EVERY time. My children may not see it, but I do. If we allow them to see that part of it then it's no longer effective as a method of discipline.
It does require some sense to use as there is a very fine line that many, many, MANY times is crossed. And NEVER shoudl be done in anger. It's always better to wait until that is all it;s abotu is a spanking. Noone is angry(either party), it;s just what needs doing.

Answer 5

We use spanking as a last resort in our home. This is a sensitive subject, i strongly support my right to use such tactics, as others strongly support a ban (or strict limitations) on spanking. We always want to have spanking in our back pocket to use when all else is failing. We don't use spanking as a reaction, but a consequence for misbehavior. Their is a difference. We don't haul off and swat our children, but rather have a talk, do the spanking, then talk again. It's all done calmly, and hurts us as much emotionally as it does them physically. We can't argue with the results, once things get down to spanking, nothing works better.

Good Luck

Answer 6

Spanking, when done properly, is a very effective parenting technique. People seem to think that parents who spank enjoy doing it. I get sick of seeing people say that it is abuse. It is not. It is discipline. Every parent should have the right to discipline their child.

I spank my children to get their attention. I don't leave marks and I know it doesn't hurt them. I would rather have a child with hurt feelings from a spanking than one that gets run over by a car.

Answer 7

I am not a 'hitter.' Frankly, I can tolerate a 'swat' if a child reaches for something on a hot stove; or reaches into a fan. However...I am concerned that a lot of questions on Y/A are from S&M-type folks who 'get off' on bare-bottom spankings of their children. That is not good! Get your spouse to consent to a 'bare bottom spanking.' If your spouse enjoys it; and you 'get off' on it; then everybody is happy! And you do not have to involve a small child in your "pleasure!" The small child will appreciate this, as well!

Answer 8

when i was coming up spanking was a way of life..but now a days if you do so and happen to leave a bruised you could find your self in a lot of trouble..i believe that is why so many children now a days are in and out of trouble.. even so i would and have just simply took there things away.. toys.. computer...bikes ..phone .. etc...i perfer the time out method for small children.. although how do you get a child to sit still in one place for very long ... like 30 minutes.. a life time to a small child..sometimes that swatt is the only thing they will understand..if all else fails than i would swatt the behind with my hand and not a belt.. at least with your hand you know how hard you are hitting

Answer 9

yes i believe children that step out of line should be spanked. A great example that warrants a spankin is if yr two year old climbs on top of the counter and touches a hot stove. Are you going to sit there and say" No honey, no no." and hope he or she doesn do it again? or are you going to give the child positive reinforcement, a spank to relate the incident to the reason he can not touch the stove? Spanking is a tool taht connects the offense to consequences. This nonsense on super nanny doesn really work! Its a croc. A child can very easily jump off of the time out chair and sendin a child to his or her room when there are so many forms of entertainment in there, a tv, video games etc. I mean come on...pat pat denotes a good behaved child in the long run...

Answer 10

I think it is a tool which parents can use. It does build up barriers and I think that it should be used as a last resort. My children don't hit each other, so it is nonsense that it is teaching children to be violent.
There are other ways to discipline your children and I think the importance is in being consistent. If you teach your children how to behave, then the battle is more than half won.
I don't allow rudeness or cheek. My children don't swear at me, they behave. Their teachers never complain about their behaviour. They are well behaved.
But your children need to feel they are loved, secure and appreciated. A good sense of humour is important, too. And understanding your child.