she had her when she was 14 and now she is 17 the baby is about to be 3 im not sure what to do?? i feel like i dont know her at all. i still freaked out by it. im not sure how to act around her now. im trying to act as normal as possible
2007-01-31 07:19:37 · 46 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
she had her when she was 14 and now she is 17 the baby is about to be 3 im not sure what to do?? i feel like i dont know her at all. i still freaked out by it. im not sure how to act around her now. im trying to act as normal as possible. yes i have been to her house but when i ever i go over the baby was never there she was at her dads house. And she had the baby right before we met so i didnt know she was preganet or even had a kid. And only me and my other best friend know besides her family
2007-02-02 07:20:34 · update #1
No big deal. So she has a kid.
2007-01-31 07:22:52 · answer #1 · answered by Metal 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
This is not a betrayal. This is a very private matter that obviously she would have shared if she felt she could at the time. It concerns her, the dad, and the parents...that's it. To be honest, you're thinking a little selfishly about it. Having a baby when you're a teen is hard enough. You're hearing it for the first time and don't know how to be 3 years after the fact!? I'm sure at the height of the situation she wouldn't have wanted you to be anything but how you always are with her just to give her a false sense of nomality. She's the same person she was then. Try and keep that in mind before you freak out further.
2007-01-31 08:33:10 · answer #2 · answered by Shorty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said she is your best friend and has been for years. Think about this, you are freaked knowing she has a child. How would have felt if you were the one to have gone through having a child, knowing that because of your age etc people would be pointing fingers, judging, and freaking out, that maybe you would lose your friends, etc.
She most likely went through a lot, and didn't know how to talk about it. It can be very scary to be so young and go through that.
Other than your not knowing this about her, has she been a good friend? Was she there for you when you needed someone to talk to etc?
If so it is ok for you to be surprised or freaked out, but remember real friends are hard to come by, this can either cost you a good friend or you can say "so ok, you have a daughter. Want to tell me about her?" and in so doing be a real friend back. Show you are her best friend.
As for how do you act around her now, think about this, she has had the daughter the day before you knew right? So act around her the same way you did the day before you knew, no reason to be different because guess what she isn't different. And neither are you.
The only thing that has changed is that now she has a friend whom she can talk to honestly about this. That is if you still want to be her friend.
If the situation were reversed how would you want her to act around you? Use that as your guide.
2007-01-31 07:30:15 · answer #3 · answered by nowment 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relax act the same She has not changed she is still the same friend youve known. THing like this is why it can be hard for a young mom to be proud. I was 15 when i got preg, and now im 23 and have an awesome 6 year old. just support her and include in activites that are child friendly let her bring her kid around and be comfortble its hard enough bening a young mom dont make her feel bad. Just be your normal self, dont look at her any different ,Just means she gets to be a young mom and will be close to her daughter for this reason
its fine make sure she know you dont care it doesnt and should have any impact on ur frindship
2007-01-31 07:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by mekitty1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
although she didnt tell you it was probebly because she was scred. also she shouldnt have the kid but don't mention that 2 her as this will really hurt her feelings. your friend is probebly findin it really hard with a kid at the age of 17. give her as much suport as possible. if the dad is still around then itl be easier but if hes not itll be even harder. try your best to act normal together and dont leeve her out on day trips and nights out. also offer to babysit once in a while so she can have some freetime 2 her self
2007-01-31 07:30:18 · answer #5 · answered by Euan D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's kind of odd to have a best friend for three years and she has a child that is 2yrs old, It makes you wonder if there are other things that you don't know about her. I totally uunderstand. Although between all the deep conversations you two have been having why did she mention it? Who cares for the child? does she see her what is the total story with her and this baby. The best thing you could do is find out all the details and let her know how finding out about the baby made you feel. If she can nderstand that you thought that y'all was BF then maybe she'll open up and tell you about all the skeletons in her closet. Good Luck
Don't do anything drastic to hurt your friendship!
2007-01-31 07:28:59 · answer #6 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
And the problem is???? My best friend had a baby and we all thought it was her little sister or cousin or something until someone slipped and told. But we had just been friends a month before everyone found out, but to this day I love her little girl like no other. Just be there for her, it's hard enough not being able to live a normal life, let alone losing friends over a kid.
2007-01-31 07:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by MyOpinionMatters 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is she living with her child, or did she place her for adoption? Either way, it is something she didn't want her schoolmates gossiping about, so she kept quiet. Now she has trusted you with this very sensitive information. She must really like you and feel comfortable with you. Remember, she got pregnant at 13 or 14, that's a long time ago and she probably didn't know what she was doing, if she even had a choice. It's amazing what people go through, and still live good lives afterward. She's been your best friend, I hope you can stay hers.
2007-01-31 07:35:50 · answer #8 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know you should act normal just go with the flow if you are her beast friend you shoudl be able to adapt to those kind of things and this is a big part of her life i am sure your stunned to hear your very best friend has been keeping a part of her life from you but maybe its because she thinks you will act differnt and what your saying here is you are acting different if you are really her best friend just let the kid be apart of your life too i mean maybe you could even volunteer to babysit for a night get some bonding time in with her kid show her you dont care that she has a kid:] be a good best friend and dont worry i;m sure she is just as freaked out that you know and she probably thinks its akward too but if you guys are best friends you'll get through it:] good luckk!
2007-01-31 07:26:20 · answer #9 · answered by mypupismylove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She probably didn't want you to know because she could have thought she was going to lose your friendship if she told you. Just because she has a child and didn't tell you doesn't change the person she is. Don't worry about how to act around her, act like you did before you knew she had a baby.
2007-01-31 07:30:31 · answer #10 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it was her parents that made her hide it. If you are a true friend you will be there for here even more now than before sometimes people need help to deal with hard times in there life and trust me its hard to raise kids.....so if i were you i'de give her some more of your time and you can get to know her child and at the end it will pay off you'll see...be loyal and true to others and youll be rewarded with love and appreciation
2007-01-31 09:18:09 · answer #11 · answered by jenniferhci 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋