how to turn a man from a headack in to gentleman ???

Question

Training Courses Now Available for Men
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Iron
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Lino?: You CAN Tell the Difference!
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
10. Recycling Skills II: Polystyrene that Came in the Boxes that the electronics Came In
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Shaving Stubble from the Sink
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to run Out of Toilet Paper!
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Oxfam
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
18. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
19. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Videos That Don't Fall under the "Action/Adventure" Category
20. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
21. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Toilet
22. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
23. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
24. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
25. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

Answer 1

Those classes are boring.

Besides why take those classes if women can't get involved in them. Here's some classes from a local all-women's college:

1. Business Logistics/Wedding Finance 101: Learning that you can't just demand a wedding especially if you have no intentions of saving up for it!
2. Business Management/Wedding Logic 102: Learning that you can't just plan a perfect wedding without finding a perfect man.... FIRST! FIRST!
3. Finance 101, 102, 103...
4. Business 101, Settling debt alternatives instead of asking fiance to pay for your dept
5. Business 105: Avoiding the pitfalls of bancrupcy due to shopping addiction for crap
6. Logic 101, 102, 103, 104, 201, 202, 203, 301, 301, 303...
7. Psychology 101: Determining when cleaning too much becomes OCD. Yes I said it, it can be OCD!
8. Psychology 102: Nesting Zillas: a reality - when cleaning becomes a religion
9: Health 101: Learning that cleaning too much creates a super germ
10. Cooking for women 101: Beyond the chocolat and cereal in the evening, it's not a real meal!
11. Cooking for women 102: Learning to cook because going out means you can't cook!
12. Eating Etiquette 101: Learn to take the whole donut and not leave half for everyone else because you touched it you idiot!
13. Nutrition 101: Avoiding the path of carb addiction and avoiding donuts in the first place
14: Nutrition 102: Learning the common mistakes of becomming a vegetarian diet just cause you want to lose weight
15. Hospitality 101: Ol' shkwel hospitality cause mommy does it better!
16. Psychology 103: Wanting kids and then saying the men should have the baby could mean that these are signs of irrational behavior
17. Linguistics: Learning to differentiate the term cute from sexy because little babies aren't sexy!
18: Health 102: Learning the complications of having too many doctors for too many reasons.
19: Psychology 104: Learning that just because you feel good thanks to a therapist, does not mean you're getting better
19. Film Study 101: Critic films due to content: A wedding in a film doesn't necessarily mean it's good
20 Marketing 101: Learn how court a man by giving him lots of sex then stop because you know he's gonna be around and you don't want to miss your show.
21. Counseling 101: Learning the grieving process because you stop giving him sex and now he's found a new mate
22. Legal - Contracts 101: Learn that if a man states what he is in the contract which is binding. You cannot change his ways because that's a breach of contract!
23. Psychology 104: Shoe addiction, diagnosis and prognosis
24. Psychology 105: Monthly madness, that time when women cry for no reason, clean for no reason and screams for no reason
25. Database 101: Learn that 20 different shampoos in the bathtub is redundant and not normalized
26. Etiquette 102: Showing a tramp stamp or belly ring is not gracious
27. Health 103: Learn how to reduce the muffin top that hangs over the jeans

Answer 2

A headack?

The answer lies under that white shirt.
kidding.

And now MY answers to them.

Training Courses Now Available for Men
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
Get a dog.
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Iron
I don’t want anything of mine ironed.
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
Never been to either anyway.
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
If it tastes good, it IS good.
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Lino?: You CAN Tell the Difference!
What’s a lino?
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I
And so can you.
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II
No, but it’ll remind you to get more.
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore!
I know it’s not for women. It’s for MOMMYS.
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In
It’s their home!
10. Recycling Skills II: Polystyrene that Came in the Boxes that the electronics Came In
It’s their bed!
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Shaving Stubble from the Sink
I shave in the shower.
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels!
“Let’s?” It doesn’t take two. Get to it.
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to run Out of Toilet Paper!
You sit down and wipe EVERY time you use the toilet, therefore you have double the responsibility.
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Oxfam
You wish I fit into those 15 year old Levis!
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts
You wish I fit into those shirts.
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware
You put the food on them. I did most of the work by eating the food off.
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel!
Also a section in the bookstore.
18. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut
Taco Bell, McDonalds, Denny's
19. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Videos That Don't Fall under the "Action/Adventure" Category
Horror? Porno? You chose.
20. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote
We invented it. We keep it.
21. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Toilet
Refer to answer 13.
22. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed
Why are you looking under the bed?
23. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them
YOU'RE lost so YOU ask for them. I’m not lost.
24. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime
There’s timeouts as well!
25. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It
Shut up

Answer 3

I'm afraid that I'm a little too advanced for these courses, Dopest Ethiopian - these are remedial classes,and I'm at the doctoral level!

Just to answer you:

Training Courses Now Available for Men
1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop
- already know about that (I don't have a wife, so I have to do all my household chores myself)
2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Iron
- see answer to question 1
3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding
- honey, I've been wearing suits since you were in diapers
4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead
- see answer to question 1
5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Lino?: You CAN Tell the Difference! - see answer to question 1
6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I - see answer to question 1
7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II - see answer to question 1
8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore! - see answer to question 1
9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In - see answer to question 1
10. Recycling Skills II: Polystyrene that Came in the Boxes that the electronics Came In - see answer to question 1
11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Shaving Stubble from the Sink - see answer to question 1
12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels! - see answer to question 1
13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to run Out of Toilet Paper! - see answer to question 1
14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to Oxfam - see answer to question 1
15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts - see answer to question 3
16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the Limitations of Your Kitchenware - see answer to question 1
17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel! - I know all about romance, I'm sure I could teach YOU a few things, babe!
18. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut - see answer to question 1
19. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Videos That Don't Fall under the "Action/Adventure" Category - I'm a published author, I'm sure I could teach you a whole hell of a lot about cinema!
20. Yours, Mine, and Ours: Sharing the Remote - hey, it's my TV and my choice!
21. Adventures in Housekeeping I: Let's Clean the Toilet - see answer to question 1
22. Adventures in Housekeeping II: Let's Clean Under the Bed - Why the hell do you need to clean under the bed more than twice a year? Who the hell is going to look under there anyway? I hope you're not one of those women who's friends snoop around the house to critique your housekeeping (those chicks are busybody idiots, so why do you care if they see a little dust under the bed?)
23. Directions: It's Okay to Ask for Them - That's what they made MAPS for!!! Why should I ask for directions when I can figure out how to get there myself? Just stop yapping for a minute and let me get my bearings and we'll be there soon enough!
24. Listening: It's Not Just Something You Do During Halftime - if you have something important to say, I'll listen. If it's just nagging or whining, save it for after the post game show
25. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It - I'm a home improvement carpenter with 14 years experience, if I can't fix it, nobody can!

Like I said, I'm above this material - these classes are GED level and I'm strictly post graduate!!!

Dopest Ethiopian, you are so typical - a girl with a hot body and a nasty attitude!!

Bitter angry females like you make me very happy that I never got married!!!

Answer 4

#24..add "commercials" also..only speak during commericals and halftime to be a good wife.
..Most of the stuff I do anyway ,because I am single and if I don't do it ,there is no maid coming over here to clean the house,and I have to have it clean,because I never know when I might have company being a single guy.
oh the remote thing..I don't know if it is ok to share a remote..maybe you should get another tv for yourself..believe me no guy wants to watch Oprah,or lifetime the woman's channel.

Answer 5

Thanks for providing me with a chuckle! These were very funny and for the most part true.

4 6 7 11 18 20 are absolutely the funniest!!!

LMAO!!!

Answer 6

my favourite is 4.

you are doomed if you think you can do anything about 3.

you can keep the remote.

Please don't mention supermarkets again; you're spoiling my fantasy. On the planet that your avi came from, supermarkets don't exist.

Answer 7

What is your question?

Not all women have chosen to spend time with lazy irresponsible jerks. Pick someone better.

Answer 8

You cant change a man.
That's why its mother's responsibility to stay at home and to raise their child good values and responsibilities.

Answer 9

what about the one for women:
using the lawnmower
cleaning out the gutters
replacing car headlights, fuses & tires
edging the driveway 101
trimming the hedges
moving heavy furniture
fixing things

things men stereotypically do...

Answer 10

you have to be real about life, people; especially men are not perfect, and thats where love and acceptance comes in