Suicide - can you save somebody who covers them self in petrol and lights it?

Question

A friend died today after doing this. He had a lot of problems. He was only 33 and has 4 children. He had separated from his wife , fallen out with his parents and lost his job! Locals are angry as the local police who were present when he lit himself were powerless. I don't believe they could have helped them. How do his family get through this as they watched. Any contacts / advice. SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE.

Thanks You

I am not angry with police I understand their position when faced with this. I spoke to a local officer frankly about this and he explained what could/couldn't be done. I actually think our friend would always have been troubled in life and now I feel for his family and feel his pain has ended - hopefully.

Not Ecky Boy

Please read his comment and consider a response! Thanks

Answer 1

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. I know it must be overwhelming for you and his family.

A member of my family committed suicide. After years of self blame and "if only I had" running through my head, I came to accept that suicide is a selfish act of anger.

The person committing suicide knows his act will hurt his loved ones, but does what he wants to do anyway. He thinks that the misery he feels will last forever, and he cannot tolerate the feeling. He doesn't fully realize that he is applying a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

The family member runs the gamut of feelings, from disbelief to guilt to shame to sadness to fury. Healing comes when it becomes clear that, to the person who takes his own life, death is a kinder alternative than life is.

Remind his poor family that he suffered greatly here on earth or he would not have done what he did. He is not suffering now.

When time passes, and the feelings change, a
ask them to forgive him for the pain he has caused them. He didn't really know that he had other alternatives.

Answer 2

The only way is if they could have got close to him and unfortunately that is difficult givren the heat from the burning petrol (no I am quite serious). Plus very few people would know what to do no matter what their profession was.
If you had a large coat on the only thing to do would be to knock them to the floor and cover them with the coat roling them over and over to smother the flames. Then pour water over them constantly to cool them .(th skin temperature in cases like this can reach 1,000f. however , the injuries to them would be terrible and even if this was done it is no guarantee the person would survive. i know you are angry but don't make things worse by adding to the debate. after all the family and bystanders could just as easily have acted as any police officers so thye should look at themselves for their own inaction as well. To put it another way - would you have known what to do?

Answer 3

My thoughts are with you and your friends family. Its takes a BRAVE person to commit suicide.
I'm sorry I cannot offer you any positive help as I would not know who could give you advice but to all those negative people I hope there never comes a day when you feel you have to leave your loved ones behind and the only way out is suicide.

Answer 4

my heart cries for you
ignore some of the brainless messages on here
you sound like a very well balanced friend - there is no easy way through this and even time can do so little to ease the pain
i hope you can remember all the good times with your friend - and keep kindled the knowledge that no one was responsible
look after yourself
if you are there to listen and talk about your friend to his family that would be a big help - people can feel so awkward about mentioning someone who has died, i think it is essential to talk about them rather than bottle everything up and sweep it all under the carpet - apopogies for missed metaphors but i am upset for you

Answer 5

I have worked cases like that. Someone who is threatening suicide while the police surround them. There isn't anything the police can do. They will call a negotiator to try and talk them out of it. They can protect the rest of the community from the suicidal person taking a hostage or taking someone else with them to their death.

Answer 6

My suggestion is to really watch the children. Especially if they seem to show no signs of reaction to this. Somtimes the worst kind of reaction is no reaction. If they actually witnessed him lighting himself up and i'm sure the rest of the family will be wondering what they could've done and what they should've done. Just watch out for everyone and be there for them to talk to. Suggest professionals if they need it. Good Luck

Answer 7

I would just like to comment on the answer from "trymeimbritish". In all the time I have been using Yahoo answers this is the most offensive, rude and ill- considered answer I have ever seen. I hope you will all join me in condemning and reporting this person.


Now in answer to your question, no there is nothing that could have been done. I will pray for that family though.

Answer 8

They might have been able to save him if they acted quickly but the damage would have already been done, and he probably would of died later on in hospital from first degree burns. You have my deepest sympathy xxx

Answer 9

i'm so sorry to hear about the loss....
i'm sure people could have at least tried to help...even if it didnt result in anything...it is terrible that nobody tried to put the blaze out :-(
I feel so sorry for his family...maybe they will need therapy or something as that is something extremly hard to get over

Answer 10

thats terrible, the police prob could not do anything due to the fact that it was petrol, i really feel for you. you are prob missing some answers in your head too, why dont you speak to someone get things of your chest before things get on top of you x x x thoughts are there with you :-(