Relationship advice???

Question

I have been dating this guy for a while. He and I have a past and have known each other a long time. Anyways, Here lately we are bickering about the stupidest mess. The littlest things seem to set us off. I am blaming it on the fact that we are both stubborn and set in our ways. Neither of us are really wanting to give an inch. I went thru a really REALLY bad marriage and I tend to see him sometimes in the things that my new guy does....therefore I hold that against him. Which is wrong on my part....But he seems to want to try to change me...and that is WRONG on his part. He has literally taught me how to love again. Therefore I am not ready to just throw in the towel on us just yet. Alot of things in my past i will not open up to him about and he doesnt understand that. Its still hard for me to talk about some of the things that I went thru. But I know that I am gonna have to. Any suggestions on how I should talk to him about this?? Maybe it will make things better if I were more open

Answer 1

I'd start with "I know I haven't been easy to gte along with lately, and here's why" and go from there. Let him know that you have been hurt in the past, and it's hard to put all the way behind you, but you are trying. Let him know that you really love him and care about him, but that sometimes you feel like he is expecting you to change in ways that you don't feel comfortable with.

Just talking about this, and consciously discussing things when they come up before they turn into fights, can really help a relationship. You need to be open, and give a little every now and then. However, you don't need to change yourself, and he should respect that.

Good luck, it does sound like you do have something worth fighting for.