iv been with my bf for 2years now. He has been acting really nasty towards me and talking to me like rubbish for the past month and its really upsetting me. He never holds my hand anymore, kisses me on the head, hugs me for no reason and just doesnt seem bothered about me anymore. Iv tried talkin to me but its all in my head- making out i have a problem or something. He can be lovely to me but mostly its horible. What can i do to make him be kind and sweet again?
2007-01-31 06:32:11 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
leave
2007-01-31 06:35:49 · answer #1 · answered by CANDY 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Frequently, psychoanalysts suggest what is called "the talking cure." Unfortunately, they recommend not only that you talk to the wrong person, but that you pay that person too! Now maybe talking to someone else would be a good idea in certain situations, but in this case it might be good to have a heart-to-heart with you boyfriend. First off, where is this relationship going? Sort out all the stuff you like and don't like and just flat out ask him. Sometimes people get all these superstitions about how a relationship ought to work because of hypothetical discussions guys have together (that usually get things totally screwed up). With no feedback from you, he may be assuming that some goofy superstitious behavior is actually the correct way to treat a woman.
Another possibility is that he has bipolar disorder. If that is the case, then if your relationship is going to move any further, then it helps to know something like that. There are more productive ways to deal with it and it is no excuse for abuse.
Last, but not least, he may not have the balls to tell you that he wants to break up and is intentionally acting stupid to make you want to do the difficult deed. Hopefully he can admit something like that because I don't think people want a relationship with someone that doesn't want to be with them - even if neither one of you has already found someone else... Although that too is a goofy belief about relationships: that if you're not already in a relationship you will not look as desirable. Nothing could be further than the truth if someone sees him mistreating you because he will look abusive and you will look either complacent about abuse or passive-aggressive, which might be even worse. Either way, they won't see either one of you as someone emotionally stable, so the whole move from a relationship to another relationship backfires because you both end up looking undesirable.
Anyhow, that's my random advice for someone I don't know nor know much about.
Good Luck!
2007-01-31 06:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by Cheshire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him if i were you, he does not seem to care about your feelings at all. He sounds like he has lost interest, im not trying to be horrible but some men just have not got the nerve to break up as they think they might have regrets and staying with some one they are comfortable with is easier. Just walk out one day or not answer his calls or switch your phone of and see what he does. Maybe a little shock to the system might help give him a kick up the bum.
Be strong and do what you think is right for you. You are clearly not happy with him at the moment . Find some one who is going to treat you right and wants kisses and hugs from you 24/7.
Good luck
2007-01-31 07:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by Pinkflower 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi im sorry to hear this ive had this to many times.I bet you are pretty too and he isnt to hot its an insecurity thing they try to belittle you dont let him get away with it at the moment tonite my partner is also abusive to me he calls me ***** and throws food at me this was tonite because i asked him to close our front door as we have a child in bed with a cold he thinks im out of order because i asked him to do this and said i should chill and he said we are finished so i said good anyway ive been with him 3 years and am stuck at present no job single mum we arent married thankgod im saying men are not worth it pls try and leave him or get someone to talk to a family member my boyfriend says its me to and i have a prob its all about control he has been standing over me now saying im addicted to my pc ha its because im now taking control do you see what i mean he has gone now im waiting to hear about a job and when i get it im moving on with my daughter we dont need it. tell me more if you like but i will tell you tomorrow he will be nice cant do enough this could last for 2 month then its back again you cant change them hun its sad but true they wont change just try and move on it may take time but in the meantime get a plan of what you want to do i mean if you live together it will be hard but if you dont no probs just dump him life is to short and my boyfriend is a short ar... and i told him so ha take care
2007-01-31 07:15:39 · answer #4 · answered by LINDSEY C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it could be two things, one had you done something wrong to make him angry? Or maybe he's not attracted to you anymore and wants to break up. But he don't want to see you with another guy that is why he is still with you.
You deserve better than that hun, have a chat with him and tell him exactly how you feel about him. If it continues, then just leave him. I know it wont be easy to leave someone you really care for, but trust me; you will be pleases with yourself after.
Take care and good luck.
2007-01-31 06:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by Playful~Beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down with him and talk. Be honest and tell him how you feel. Unfortunately, no one can be changed. If he is acting different towards you find out what his deal is. It might not be the answer that you want, but it is better for you to be with someone who appreciates you. If he doesn't appreciate you for who you are then you need to move on. Good luck to you! :)
2007-01-31 06:39:02 · answer #6 · answered by Jess_DH13 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with my man. I tried talking to him and he said it was my problem not his. I just started to ignore him and talk to him less and less. He soon realized that I wasn't there when he wanted me and that he was missing me. It took about two weeks but he came around. he is affectionate and sweet again. just like i remembered. try it, if it doesn't help, find someone else that will treat you better.
2007-01-31 06:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by peanut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he treats you like rubbish why do you want to be with him. Myabe he wants you to break up with him. Maybe he wants an out. You deserve better. He is not much of a man if he treats you like garbage or makes you feel that way.
Good luck!!!
2007-01-31 06:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by knightwing992000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant do anything ,sad to say. You do need to tell him how you feel and make sure he listens. If he cant try to see things from your point of view the relationship might just be at its end. You should never stay in a relationship in hopes for things to back the "way they used to be" it never happens!!!!
2007-01-31 06:49:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunitly, i am sorry to upset you but most likely he is cheating or like's someone eles. when a guy gets to that point it is becuase he has lost interest and more then likely has found intrest eleswhere, time to move on and do the same so you yourself can be happy as well.
2007-01-31 06:39:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will be hard, but dump him. He has no respect for you and would'nt be like this if he loved you. Next thing he will cheat on you or raise his hand. Get rid and find someone worty of your love. This guy needs to learn some manners and respect for a lovely girl like you.
2007-01-31 07:12:35 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋