My boyfriend of 4 years wanted to go to the strip club with friend from work. I said no, because it makes me uncomfortable. He wouldn't allow me to go to the bar with my girls. Is this wrong? Should I just allow it?
2007-01-31 05:57:22 · 15 answers · asked by luvlygrl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he loves you and he knows it makes you uncomfortable then the answer should be clear, no. You are respecting his wishes by not going out with your girls so he should do the same. You shouldn't put up with him telling you what to do if hes not going to respect your wishes too.
2007-01-31 06:14:53 · answer #1 · answered by jeep00girl 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, to start with, you two should not be “allowing” each other anything. You are not his mother and he is not your son.
Is wrong that he doesn’t allow you to go to the bar with your friends. He needs to let you do whatever the hell you want to do with your life. Same way around, you have no voice on deciding if he can go anywhere or not.
BUT, you two should discuss it whenever any of you want to go out on some “risky” situations. For example, my wife and I trust each other, and when I want to go out with my friends, I tell her I’m going out, and she is ok with it. Sometimes we go to the strip clubs, most of my friends end up hitting on the girls, and more than one has been able to take a stripper to bed (money talks!).
But she knows I won’t do anything but come back home and get her very good cause I would be horny. And it goes also the other way too. She goes out with her girlfriends and I am happy that she does. She has gone to strip clubs too and watch almost naked guys with socks down their underwear (LOL). She comes back home pretty much ripping off her clothes and mines too to jump over me and have crazy sex. So in fact, I am the one who tells her to go out with her crazy friends.
And about what other have said here about respect to each other, we do respect each other, trust each other, and talk about everything we do. That is the key for a good relation, and I am graceful that we are as we are.
You need to talk to your boyfriend and set things stray.
2007-01-31 14:15:47 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ditto "let" and "allow" comments already posted.
A bar is more of a social scene for singles, and he could see this as a threat. Guys don't go to strip clubs looking for girlfriends, just titillation. So it's not quite the same situation.
Tell him it's okay for him to go to the strip club if you can go with your friends to a MALE strip club! And tell him it's okay for him and his friends to hang out at the bar without you along. If neither one of you objects, there's no problem.
2007-01-31 14:17:08 · answer #3 · answered by gamblin man 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you shouldn't let him go. If he can't give you the same amount of respect and freedom, then you don't owe him any either. And even if he doesn't care if you go to the bar, I don't think he's being very respectful toward you or your relationship by going to a strip club. Think about it: he is going there to fantasize about doing it with another girl. Is that the kind of guy you want? If I were you, I'd dump his @ss and move on to a guy who will respect you and honor your relationship.
2007-01-31 14:04:52 · answer #4 · answered by Venus Mantrap 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Listen to yourself : should I just "allow" it? As if he is to defer to you? Sure, I understand consideration as a factor, but honey, do you want to be the type of girlfriend that is "the old ball and chain" or do you want to be the secure, sexy, independent, healthy friend and lover that he deserves? Why do you think he has to answer to you? I totally understand his point, you can't have your cake and eat it to.
My husband and I have been together for 16 years, and I am the type of woman that will pause the movie 'cuz he missed the boobies while he was in the bathroom, or point out a good looking woman on the street, and I do it because it's natural, it's organic, and it's healthy...I do not expect him to be someone with me, and someone else with his friends, I KNOW who this man is, and he knows me, there are no pretenses. Sure, we discuss major issues together, and try not to hurt each other's feelings, but ultimately, we are FRIENDS, and I would never expect a friend to tell me what to do, or what not to do....do you see where I am coming from? I'm just trying to give you a little perspective, sometimes it's hard to be objective when you are inside, you know? Good luck!
2007-01-31 14:07:07 · answer #5 · answered by Zygai 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No it is fair, if he does not want you to go to the bar with you friends why does he think he gets to go to the strip club.
2007-01-31 14:02:01 · answer #6 · answered by selena d 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Well he wouldn't let you go the bar with your friends but he wants to go to the strip club with his friends??? Whats good for the goose is good for the gander
2007-01-31 14:04:04 · answer #7 · answered by Karma 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Let?! Allow?! Are you 2 seeing each other? Or are you each other's parent???
If you trust him, don't sweat the strip club. Men are visual creatures. It's just the way they are. If you don't trust him, end it now. You'll both be much happier.
2007-01-31 14:01:17 · answer #8 · answered by Tish 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Let him go.
They're strippers not hookers.
He'll have a few drinks, get turned on and run back home to you ready to go, be ready
Club with the girls is different in that, thats a pick up joint. He should trust you enough to go but don't be petty and stop him from going somewhere harmless
2007-01-31 14:02:07 · answer #9 · answered by menagainstamazoniammasterhood 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The worst that could happen is that he will come home horny and have sex with you...strip clubs are full of sweaty horny men..and none of them end up taking home a stripper..they leave wanting to go home to their girlfriends...do you trust your man?
2007-01-31 14:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by Bad Mood 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋