my brother was an attractive, respectful,decent guy. he was dating this wonderful girl for over a year.they broke up just recently and before they did he cheated on her,treated her like **** and has become very cold to everyone. he has also lost alot of weight. so much that everyone who sees him is worried. he is about 6ft. tall and went from 140lbs done to barely even 100. he drinks and smokes weed on a regular.quit his job but is still going to school at least.he is a vet and has been bulimic as we think since a couple of months after he was mediacally discharged from the army. i have taken care of him and my other brother our whole lives and now he's a totally different person. i don't knwo what to do anymore and i am worried that he is going to kill himself if he keeps going on the way he is. please help me i don't know what to do. and i don't want to loose my brother. he has stated that all he cares about is school and i am so scared, i want to save him like i always do.HELP!!!!!!
2007-01-31 05:53:14 · 7 answers · asked by ber-ber21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thank you to all who have answered so far but the thing is he thinks he is perfectly fine and i can't get him to a doctor. we had a horrible childhood one that i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. but i have always done everything i could to make it at least some what better. and luckily our family intervened otherwise we wouldn't be here today. he's been like this since before him and his gf broke up and i feel so lost and helpless.he is even pushing me away and i just feel so helpless in the fact that my brother may end his life this way.
2007-01-31 06:42:31 · update #1
My heart goes out to you. It is very painful to see someone we love be so selfdestructive.
I have gotten so caught up in trying to saved a loved one from herself that I became very sick myself. I cared more about her than she did and all my efforts were in vain and unappreciated. I was yelled at and treated badly and things weren't getting any better.
I had to come to the realization that nothing I did or didn't do would change her or help her. She had to find her own way, as painful as that was for me, and I had to let go and take care of myself. This wasn't easy, but with the support of my friends in Al-Anon ans Nar-Anon, I discovered I wasn't alone and I found tools to take care of myself and to get off my loved one's back. As long as I was trying to save her, she resisted me and focused angrily on me rather than her own state. I learned to treat her and myself with respect.
Even though she is still using, I can love her, respect her and spend quality time with her without experiencing pain and arguments. She may find recovery for herself, she is making sounds like she might want to get into recovery and I remind her that she knows where to go, but I am there for her and her recovery is her business and I don't comment any further.
Al-Anon & Nar-Anon helped me get my life back. Without the programs I was headed on a downward spiral into grief, depression and insanity. Alcoholism and addiction not only affects the addict/alcoholic, but everyone around him as well.
May you find serenity.
2007-01-31 06:14:10 · answer #1 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get him to a physcologist and find out what happened to him. Something may have happened that you may not know about that triggered all this inside of him. Maybe he took the break up really hard and now hates everyone. You are not a doctor so there is really nothing you can do except be there for him, talk to him about how you feel, and let him know you want to get him help because your scared and always let him know you love him. Good Luck and God Bless.
2007-01-31 14:16:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a difficult position. There is something going on that you are unaware of and I am sure you realize this. Perhaps you should just let your brother know that he can always come to you without the risk of judgment and if that is not something he feels safe with he really should talk to a pastor. A pastor knows how to help.
The best you can do is pray!! Never under estimate the power of faith. God is always there for you and He will be there to guide you if you ask. The sufficiency of Christ can and will heal your brother. He understands and will hold you/your brother during this difficult time. your brother may not be able to come to terms with what is happening in his life but going to the Lord and asking Him to guide you in what you can do for your brother is the VERY BEST thing you can do.
2007-01-31 14:55:23 · answer #3 · answered by hiscinders 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, first i want to tell you that i am so sorry, and i have prayed for you both. i too took care of my brother since he was 15 years old , my brother started taking drugs, i tryed everything, and i mean everything to try and help him, but each night i would pray for the LORD to help him , sometimes i wondered why i even ask, but i still prayed about it, you see GOD can do anything! and he did. the sad part is that my brother had to hit rock bottom for the change to come. first i stopped mothering him, yes it was hard but, i had to let him find his own strenght, love him and offer him help with going to a dr. , but pray for him . my brother is doing great now, but i had nothing to do with it, he had to want the help first and GOD helped us through it all. may GOD BLESS YOU BOTH and good luck.
2007-01-31 14:21:03 · answer #4 · answered by reann4239 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it seems like this is beyong your control, i think you should seek proffesional help. take him to the doc. being 6ft and just weighting 100lbs is definetly not right. you should also take him to a psychologist because there is something wrong with the way he is feeling/thinking.
seek help asap.
hope everything turns out ok, if you believe in God, dont forget to pray. It really works and God is there to help you.
2007-01-31 14:10:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like hes on more than booze and weed, maybe hes on crack... his non caring attitude is the first sign. nothing you can do ,except be there unless your brother is under age .
2007-01-31 14:20:15 · answer #6 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to started to speake with him about his problems, and try to going with him on psihologic doctor...or try to stay with him more...i don't know verry well
2007-01-31 14:04:18 · answer #7 · answered by slashcamy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋