How can this mother help her child?

Question

My Indian friend living in America is at wits end. She wants to bring up her children according to the values she has learned and some of the Indian traditions that families follow. But the children have trouble with their peers and are torn in between.
So how can she help her children to balance their life between the parents' values that they instill in them and the peer-pressure of following the culture?

Answer 1

It is always difficult for children in a school setting to stay true to their upbringing. Most children want to be accepted by those around them. When I was younger I had trouble in this area myself. My parents are Jehovah's Witnesses, and we didn't celebrate holidays or birthdays. Some of my classmates and teachers made me feel like an outsider. I think there has to be a give and take from both sides. Parents should understand what the children are going through, and at the same time the children should show respect to convictions of their parents. If the children are forced into certain beliefs or cultural ways of doing things, they might just rebell and all is for not. Communication between both sides needs to take place and a happy medium needs to be found. I personally did not find this peace until I was an adult. I am not a JW anymore, but I respect my parents beliefs and they don't try to preach to me anymore. Our relationship is stronger than it has ever been. I just wish it happened when I was younger. It would have saved everyone involved a lot of heartache. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

Important values like loving kindness,respect n tolerance for all can be taught in any culture by leading with example. Any tradition that wants to be followed will survive only if its worthwhile and can be explained why its important to be followed.
I think American culture has values too if only we care to respect them and overlook the negatives. With the world fast becoming a small place to live in soon we might be able to see a common world ethos.
Indiscipline is causing the blind westernization in India if u look the other way.

Answer 3

When you decide to live in America you have to compromise to a certain extent. But that certainly does not mean leaving your traditions behind.
My nephew in New Jersey has 2 daughters who have beautifully blended the best of both worlds. One of the things that they imbibe into the children constantly, is the need for relationships. They sit together and view family albums, like - "This is your Grandfather...you know, he does this....", "This is your Uncle", and so on...
They also make it a point to celebrate all the Indian festivals at home, the traditional Indian way....... and take pride in doing it. They watch Indian dances, movies etc... Their daughters go to Classical dance classes etc..
They are therefore perfectly at ease, when they come to India.... which is also quite often.
Maybe... this is one way - Try it out!!

Answer 4

She can't expect her children to not become Americanized. She chose to move here and unfortunately they are going to be influenced by their peers. But when they are home, she can teach them to obey the rules of the house. And if the rules of the house include the values and traditions they were used to, then they will need to balance the two. But she needs to accept the fact when they leave the house, it will be different.

Answer 5

One of the most important things for children, is to fit in and be accepted by their peers. To be brought into a western society where culture is clearly different than that of their home land, it would be a very emotionally difficult time for them.

To ask them to live in a different society, they must be allowed to accept some of the new culture into their lives as well. They will learn both, weither we (as parents) agree or not. So wouldn't it be better to be there for our children, to help them learn and understand the differences, and allow growth of both cultures?

The one thing we can do for our children, is be consistent in teaching (and living by) our own morals, values and traditions.

Parenting, no matter what values we live by, are taught to our children as best we can in hopes they will carry on with what we believe. To raise our children in a culture different than our home land, can be a wonderful thing to expose them to. But care and openness should be given. Listen to their concerns, help them with their frustrations, and allow them to adjust.

Answer 6

Moulding a child is not all that easy.Values and tradition in America are very much different than in india .But still she should
come to india often and show children india .only then she can hope to infuse indian values in them.

Answer 7

She should explain to her children how important family values are and that if her classmates respect them they should respect their values as well.

Answer 8

Maybe she could go to a church and talk to a priest, or have a talk with her children and let them know what she expects out of them and there beliefs.