Need help with my mother who has alzheimers?

Question

I live in Long Island and have contacted the chapter but they are no help. I am 8 months pregnant and have a 1 year old and my mother is literally driving me crazy. I need some resources for some relief from her. ANy programs anyone knows of will help. tia

Answer 1

It sounds like your Mother must have early onset Alzheimers.

Considering your situation you need to call in the help for family.

I cared for my Mother in law during her late stages. It can be a challenge and she was easy. Her major problem was she only slept 3 hours a night.

You need to read as much as you can about this disease to educate yourself. It will help you understand it much better.

Learn about "Sundowning". This is late in the afternoon when they are at their most stressed and distressed. Sadly enough for you this is the time when children are at their worst also.

Try to find a friend that could sit with her an hour or two to help you have a break. You must learn to become innovative. It is required.

There is a book entitled "The Thirty Six Hour Day". But that has been out quite a while. Do a little research at your library and see if you can find some newer ones.

Try to have a schedule, you need one for children and the same will work better for her also. Just know her mind is unable to do what it used to do. Be patient it is manditory. She was with you when you were a child.

Give her simple things to do that she really cannot mess up.
If you are a perfectionist, get over it, you are no longer allowed.
This illness is in stages. My mom in law was in 7 when she came to live with us and could not live alone any more. She no longer recognized who we were or where she was. Not a clue.
But she was comfortable and mostly peaceful.

Senior centers have senior day care. This might be something to look into. Most are provided by county services or churches.
If she could spend a day there 2 or 3 days a week it would be helpful. But I will say alz. patients are usually fearful of being out of familiar surroundings.

Good Luck and God Bless. Should you reach the place you need to place her in nursing care. Check into Medicaid they will help pay. BE ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN TO USE ONE THAT HAS A SEPERATE DEMENTIA UNIT. You do not want her in a merged home. That causes tremendous problems.

Answer 2

My own opinion. The words honor someone pertains to yourself. Don't do anything that would dishonor someone. It is a guide line. Now all people can follow guide lines, depending on the circumstances. The Laws were written and are here subject to question. Did they mean your earthly father and mother, or did they mean, Father God and Mother Earth. For some, this could also mean , Father/Mother God. Your situation seems difficult. Alcoholism had destroyed many families. I had an x wife who was Alcoholic as was her father. There is little you can do for them because the drink take first preference. I would suggest that you consider the soul inside and forgive their hurt to you. Be the better person. I know she has hurt you and it will no be easy. It certainly is difficult being a care giver to an ungrateful person. Jesus said how can you be forgive unless you can forgive. Seek the higher outcome. Jesus said to build up your treasures in Heaven. That is where it matters. What you bind on Earth, you also bind in Heaven. So do you self a favor and bite the bullet if you can and help your Mother. You will only have one in this life time. You may wish you had cared for her after she is gone. The honor part is the role you play, not what she plays. I hope for the best for you, I know it is not easy. Rev. TomCat

Answer 3

request for her to be in a nursing home and get some kind of power of attorney and guardian. and any family near by and can handle the obstacles and obligations meaning not a busy life and hectic of having children but part of u is selffish in away ur mom brought u in the world and took care of u raised u and shes been there for u so u should care love her be supportive and take care of her like she has and done for you.sorry if i sound mean but i got a mom whos sick and Im there for her stick by her and there in anytime in need for her and my mom got empysema

Answer 4

My Mother has it too. Bless you for taking care of her. My sister takes care of ours and the rest of us help with whatever we can and take her for a night or two. But she has found all kinds of help. She gets food, a care person to come in and help with mom, a cleaning person, she once even went to "adult day care", which she didn't like by the way, She got all of this through medicaid. Is your mother on medicaid? I'll ask her specifically the names of the people she got help from and get back to you on here. Or you can contact me. Good luck. Take care of her, but don't forget about yourself.

Answer 5

I'm no expert, but my father was suffering from Alzheimers before he passed away. The guilt I felt ( I'm far away from home) was enormous. I know there is Alzheimers' anonymous.... Try your family doctor for suggestions. I'm probably not much help, but..

Answer 6

Nesconset Nursing Home was very proactive when we inquired about placing my grandmother there. The place was nice, the people were nice. I would recommend it highly.

Answer 7

She can be placed in a nursing home. Talk to her doctor.