My five year old has showing inappropriate behavior.?

Question

Lately my five year old son has been showing signs of bad behavior. His mother and I are at a loss. He has this friend who has a very leinent mother. She basically let's the boy do what-ever he wants. We are not strict with our boy but we do have effective disciplinary measures.
One evening he was out playing with his friend and they decided to go into a neighboring mobile home park. He was out rather late and I went to find him.
He thinks that I was rather harsh when I told him to get his but home ASAP. When he got home I grounded him. I told him he wasn't going to be running the streets. He's five.
Was I wrong to insist that my five year old wasn't going to be running the streets. How could I have handled this better?

Answer 1

You handled it like any parent I know would have. You could have explained to him all of the bad things that could happen to him. But would he really understand. I say don't back down. He will eventually see that you are only there to look after him and protect him. Give him time he will see that you mean well when you lay down the law.

Answer 2

You handled the situation just fine. However, if you would like to, help him understand why you grounded him.

Yes, the obvious reason is that he is five. But let him know that he is still little and that there are people in the world that want to possibly hurt him. Explain to him that you're angry that he went around the area without telling you, which is the huge reason you're mad at him. Use vocabulary he would know.

You might also want to start with all the safety rules, if you haven't already.

Password Protected - If someone were to come up to your kid and say something like, "Hey. Your parents are in the hospital and I have to take you there." then you would have a password, or code word. He is at the age where he can remember that and keep it a secret.

Parental Supervision - Make him be certain to only go anywhere around the neighborhood with you or your wife's permission. In addition to that you may add the clause that he must within your sight or sight of an approved adult, when outside or whatever.

I hope I could be of some help to you and wish you the best of luck on keeping your child safe.

Answer 3

DUDE! You are the father and a father is supposed to be a father. You were right on the mark the way you handled it. A single (not hard) swat to the buttocks would not be over the line either.

A child has to have discipline and you need to remember - you will never be his best buddy. Sometimes it works out that way, but mostly not. He needs to respect you, and he needs to learn he cant just do anything and everything he wants to.

I felt guilty almost every time I had to punish my daughter - even on something as little as restricting her play time, or no visitors for a couple of days. But the reality is - now that she is grown - I have her respect and love.., and while I didn't feel too sure I was doing the right thing at the time during her upbringing - I now know it has paid off.

Im a father - and proud of it. You cant listen to those Dr, Spock wanna be's. I mean, the man's son commited Suicide for crying out loud, so these so called professionals are not any better at raising children than we are.

You are going to make your share of mistakes. All parents do (whether they admit it or not) so dont be so hard on yourself. As long as you dont beat your child or call him idiot or stupid - you are on the right track.

EXCEPT - some of your answerers are correct - NEVER let a five year old out without adult supervision. With child molestors growing in numbers and not to mention phsychos who just want to have a free kid - you need to keep an eye on the little rascal. He's your treasure so lets keep him alive and well.

Answer 4

you handled this the right way. there is no better way to handle this. your son needs to understand along with the other kid that going to other places like that is very dangerous especially for someone that age. so many things can happen to children these days and i cannot stress the importance of how important it is to keep a really close eye on them. people ask me sometimes if they are protecting their child too much. my answer to this is that in todays society, a parent cannot be too protective. a person can never tell who is around in the neighborhoods anymore. you were not wrong in any way. kids just wandering about is how kidnappings happen. do not feel guilty no matter what you hear from anyone else. you did the right thing. i would have done the same. just never let him out of your sight because it only takes one second for something to go wrong. hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 5

No wonder so many kids are growing up to be bloated, over protected, morons.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with a child playing outside at age five. You don't have to be with a five year old boy every second of every day. Boys have to run and jump and climb and do ridiculously stupid things, get hurt, break bones, set things on fire, and upset the neighbors. Its what boys do. If you can keep clothes on them and limit the number of trips to the emergency room to fewer than six a year, you're doing good.

Just tell him to get his little butt in your yard or whatever other distance of measurement is safe and appropriate. If he doesn't do it, tear his little butt up. Time outs and such work with girls but not boys. You've got to beat a healthy respect for authority into them.

If you "over parent" him by constantly being around he'll have no sense of independence and grow up to be a needy, clingy, shadow of a man. At best he'll turn out gay or the lead singer of an emo band. At worst, he'll never accomplish anything without you and mom there to look over his shoulder while he does it. He'll end up living in your basement until you're gone and leave him the house.

Answer 6

Five year olds have no business running the streets. Explain this to him in a way he understands. Even though he's a big boy, he's still not an adult. Explain to him that you're not doing this to punish him, but rather you're doing this to keep him safe. Last year one of my student's mothers was concerned her son was being negatively influenced by his friend and his friend's family in much the same way you are. Her solution was simple- she allowed the friend to come over to their house all the time but wouldn't allow her son to go over to his house. The parents of the other boy didn't question it (they always had a seemingly legitimate excuse), and she felt comfortable knowing her family would positively influence the other boy rather than the other way around.

Answer 7

No Way! He should not be on the streets period! He should no be anywhere without adult supervision. He needs to be with an adult at all times at home, school and outside!!! There should not even be an incident when a parent has to ground a 5yr old. I have a 7 1/2 year old and she still doesn't go out without a grownup. He should never been allowed to play outside alone to begin with, then he wouldn't have been able to run off. I think you need to re think your own parenting and disapline before worrying about your neighbor.

Answer 8

HELLl NO. You were in no way out of line! You did the right thing. Keep up the good work and stick to your guns (so to speak) when drawing boundaries for him and disciplining your child.

You may also want to seriously think about restricting the time he's spending with this other child.. It sounds like he, or rather the home environment he is growing up in -- meaning the lack of discipline, is starting to be a bad influence on your child. The time to nip this in the bud is now!

Answer 9

You handled it much better than I would have. The way the world is right now.. I hardly let my 5 yr old out of my sight. I must be really strict..lol. Mine will starting a sport this year and I worry about who will be out there watching him. I totally agree with your actions and feel that you are showing how much you care for your son.

Answer 10

you handled it correctly... at five my children were not/are not allowed out without me.... unless they show they can follow my rules; which are you stay in our back yard! they are brought in if/when they break this rule.. and are not allowed out alone until my trust is earned back... as a rule I have different rules for each child... they mature at different rates.... so I can't blanket statement that a five year old should not be out alone....but, usually they have to earna priviledge like that and usually not before 8-9... one was ten before allowed out of my sight.... lol...
they also have to show me that they understand why I have rules in place (I do not tell them "why" for each rule... I want them to think it thru too) and the dangers that can exist... I have even gone so far as to have friends of mine that the kids do not know (police officer once too) "test" those rules... for the biggest.. strangers dangers.... I doubt you could have handled that better... he was in the wrong.. after curfew... did not let yo know where he was.... violation of trust and disrespectful of rules...
don't get me wrong.. I am not a strict mom (least that is what I get told) I just want to know they are using the noodles when I am not around to remind them what to do....