Am I making a big deal about nothing?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been off and on for a few years now. We got back together in May of last year and moved in together in November. Before we got back together he created a Myspace page. When we started getting serious again I told him that I didn't like it (I hate myspace) He said he would either change it or take it down completely. He did make some changes to it, but it still says he is "single" and there for "dating, serious relationships & Friends". I told him that really hurt my feelings and have asked him to at least change the status portions of his info.....still hasn't happened. He says that he hardly ever gets on there and that it doesn't mean anything, and doesn't understand why I am so upset about it? However, every time I go and check it, he has either logged on that day or the day before. We recently had another discussion about it and he told me that his ex had sent him a message but he deleted it and didn't even respond to her. Not sure what to do?

Answer 1

He is single. He's not married. But besides that he is not as committed to you as you are to him. All he wants is the convenient sex. Women see it differently than men. He is using you til something better comes along.

Answer 2

Sounds to me like he's still open to "suggestion", he hasn't closed the dating door completely! Be careful! Be clear on what your expectations are, even if you are afraid it might alter the dynamic of your relationship. Although this is often a very scary concept, honesty is truly the best policy. Ask yourself some serious questions before you make any moves. 1. Do I want to remain in this relationship regardless of my doubts towards his commitment to me? 2. Am I willing to accept that he may still be "looking"? 3. Am I willing deal with the truth and the outcome should I press on furtherwith my inquiries? 4. What do I want out of this relationship? 5. Do I really want the truth or to just be reassured that he is not cheating on me?

Once you've asked yourself these questions, it will be much easier to decide what to do or not to do. In the end, I'm sure you know in your heart what's really going on...if there's smoke, there's often fire so trust your instincts!

P.S. A few quick tips to know if someone is lying... the poker face is a RARE talent; everyone has "tells". These are things that a person does habitually (without awareness); touch their neck, scratch their cheek, etc when they are hiding something or being dishonest. Test it, ask the person in question; something you know they will not be truthful about and see what they do.
Watch the person's eyes, where are they looking? If the person you are questioning looks up and to the right they are thinking (accessing the right side of their brain which is the logic side) of their response, recalling if you will and being truthful. If the person looks up and to the left they are fabricating a response (accessing the left side of their brain which is for creativity) therefore LYING.

I hope this helps...either way Good luck

Answer 3

Right on. Another person that hates myspace. Myspace is a great way to keep in contact with ppl. Most guys use it for dating and sounds like he is tyring to make something happen on the side between you 2, espicially if he hasn't changed the relationship status. If he gets on the day before or earlier in the say, thats not hardly gettng on. Hardly getting on is like leaving it blank for a year and then coing back to it. I dont want to tell you to break up since V-day comes soon, so just follow your heart and do whats right to you.

And remember Myspace kills.

Answer 4

I put myself in the same situation, and I wouldn't want my girlfriend on myspace if she did not at least change her status. It's a very simple thing to do. I would venture to say that he maybe trying to see who else is out there. If he really cared for the relationship that both of you have, then he would change what you asked him to change. I am an avid myspace logger and the potential to meet many people is greater than any other social event out there. I personally think you are not making a big deal about this. he should show you the proper respect and make the changes necessary.

Answer 5

I hate Myspace too, but it sounds like he's addicted to it like every other person these days. The thing is he didn't do what he told you he'd do and that is not a good thing. It starts with small things like this and will move to bigger issues. I don't think you are making a big deal out of nothing. It's good to be concerned.

Answer 6

You can't stop him from having a my space account. At least he didn't hide if from you.

I just don't understand why he can't change the status. I mean, as a form of respect? He is your bf, he should at least try a tiny weeny bit to make you feel less insecure?

Just get him to state that he is attached or upload a picture of both of you, and let the matter rest when he does it. hee Like what they've said, it isn't a breakin up issue

Answer 7

He's definately keeping his options open. I'm as big a procastinator as there is and even I would've changed the myspace page after being nagged as many times as you did and especially if I made the effort to log on anyway. Its up cause he wants it up.

Answer 8

Yes and no. You are showing your lack of trust by going to the space and checking on it. If he appears to be remaining true to you in real life, I wouldn't worry too much about the cyber life.

Men don't realize that those things are important to women. They see it as no big deal. Women, on the other hand, expect loyalty which means you don't write to other women on your myspace.

You and he need to talk about this. Let him know, without emotional accusations and tears, how you feel. Then drop it.

Answer 9

hii.. ella woods..
I think is normal for you to feel the way you do. You might feel not secure with this relationship but you have to accept that guys will always be guys. One is always not enough for them. Try to be more open. Maybe your boyfriend just wanna to make more friend with other gals out there. If he change his status to "in a relationship" he would not be able to expand his circle of social life. You have to be confident with yourself.. okie

Answer 10

I so totally understand how you feel. Men and some women are strange like that, especially with on line stuff. He needs to keep reassuring you that you are the only one and do things special for you. He shouldn't lie about anything, regardless. And you shouldn't snoop, you are just feeding your anxiety, jealousy and insecurity.

Answer 11

Well... that reminds me of an exact similar story happened to my best friend with her boyfriend. And they end up braking up. It doesn't need to be the same but I would suggest to give him an Ultimatum or else you will do the same. Believe me, there is one thing that men hates: treat them the way they treat you.