How to say goodbye?

Question

Still feel a big empty inside...have my bros ashes and feel lost...

Answer 1

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the terrible circumstances of being so far away from everyone. Your loss is still so soon. You are going to feel horribly bad for many months and gradually you'll start to have some lessening of grief, more moments of joy, or of at least not dragging. By the time a terrible year passes, wherein your brain will play so many tricks on you about time and life and death and guilt and regret and memory and numbness, you will start to feel better.

There's no way around this terrible desert; it must be journeyed through and it is filled with pain. It is also a time for gathering up and claiming your memories of your brother and of your life with him. Savor thoughts of him, talk about him a lot. Though tears will stream down your face, you will recover some of the wonderful of him.

Find people who will listen, or talk to him where you feel safe. Write to him or about him. If you were close or loved him dearly, you will not have much energy for quite some time. It's just part of passing through this desert. Now, you know the terrible truth about life, now you stand with all those who have lost loved ones way too soon and now that anguish that love must bring.

I wish you moments of peace and a future of joy for your life, for you still have yours and must find the strength to honor his by living yours to your fullest goodness and desire.

Answer 2

Hi i read your question and it got to me because i have lost 2 people in my life that were very close to me.My mom died in 2006 and my dad died in 2003. I know what it feels to feel empty.It has almost been 4 years since my dad past and i still feel empty.One big step i took was going to see a counseler.If you just have someone to talk to you /with you it makes you get things off your chest.I know i am only 15 but i know how you feel to lose someone.The best thing you can do at this point is keep your chin up and keep livin your life to the fulliest.If you and your bro were really close ,i would think he wouldnt want you to hold on to him for long.Sure still remember the times you've had good and bad. But however he went he knows he is in a better place and is looking down on you.Even though he is not physically he is in your heart and nobody can take that away from you.If you would like to talk more you can email me at [e-mail] you can get through this.....god speed

Answer 3

My heart goes out to you. It is not easy to get through the pain and emptiness you are feeling. There is a void there that absolutely nothing can fill. I have been there and I wouldn't wish to go there again, chances are I will.
A famous horse was put down this week and the owner made a statement that says it all ~~~~~
"Grief is the price we pay for Love".
God Bless You , I understand your pain & I love you~~~~Jill

Answer 4

Oh, Honey- I'm sorry to hear about this!

You're probably going to keep feeling lost for quite a while, depending on when you lost your brother. It's normal. Talk about him if you have to. Keep doing the things you used to enjoy doing together.

Somewhere I read about some people who wrote letters to their departed loved ones and burned them so the smoke would carry the words. You could try that, or something similar.

Feel better.

Answer 5

there are different things you can try, but the truth is its going to take time. i don't think that the feeling ever completely goes away but it does get easier to manage.
you can write him a letter and tell him all the things you would need to say. for a couple years after my grandmother died I kept a journal of letters that I wrote her, because there were things that I needed/wanted to tell her but she was gone so I couldn't
another thing you can do is create a memorial for him. plant a tree in his honor or get a plaque with his picture
create a scrap book of all the things you 2 did together
donate your time/money to cause that reminds you of him in his honor
don't know if these will help, but that's what I've done in the past to help ease the pain/emptyness of losing those close to me.

Answer 6

well oneof my family member passed several weeks ago adn we jsut got done with funeral so i somewhatunderstand what you went through i guess you could you be strong and believe that everythingsg oign to be all right because eventually everything will and when you think of him, yes, youll be sad borderline crying and hurt and you probably feel betrayed someone was taken away from you someone that is apart of you so it hurts like hell and we question why i still dont understand why people have to die yes i know people have to die eventually but when at a young age why did it have to be a brother who barely just started his life or a mother who just havent finished raisin her kids its like takign away their sense of being a person and it also hurts that no one understands and you most likely feel taht way even with your family members yes they are hurt too but still they dont understand and its hard but thats life and we cant bringthose love ones back though we mourn and cry and change dramatically makes u realize many things and you become a different person a stronger person but there are few who are weak and you know youll be fine being online talkint to friends could be a great way to deal with it after one of my famliy member passed, i find myself online a lot and concentrating on many other things such as school and work and you could do the same find someting that can occupy ur time dotn be afraid to cry dont be ashame of crying my mom didnt even want me to go to the funeral she said its embarrassin beacuse i cry so much and its ridiculous but i never let her words getto me so you know what just do what you have to do and everything will fall into place

thanks for askin this and i hope this help you because it did help me im startin to like this yahoo answers thing it can help many in ways that i woudl have never known thanks ... my sincere condolences

Answer 7

I'm so sorry. I know you must be feeling just awful. You don't have to say goodbye. His memory will always be with you and his spirit lives on. As time passes, you'll be able to smile as you remember the fun times you had. It's fine to talk to him. He will hear you.

Answer 8

I am so sorry for your loss. Maybe go someplace your brother liked to go, or do something he liked doing. You can let him go, but still honor his memory that way and make you feel close to him. God bless, I'll say a prayer for you and your family!

Answer 9

This is a difficult situation. You have to do what works for you and you will find the answer in meditation and peace. For me, I would want more people in my life.

Answer 10

have you considered going to a grieving group? you need to talk about this so you can move on. i know it's hard and it's sad, so don't think i'm minimizing it at all.