I have a tendancy to tell guys that are into me in the first week or so in dating to go ahead and date other people if they want to. After they hear that they get upset and say that they aren't interested in anyone else. Of course I dont want them to date other people but I seem to say this when I am totally into the guy. Am I insecure or just afraid of being hurt if he decides to just run off with another girl? Hmmm... I want the guy to know I dont expect him to just date me but then I do....but I guess its a test to see if he would really go out with anyone else. Is this normal?
2007-01-31 04:27:03 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you're making an innocent mistake.
What you say is "Its ok to date other guys".
On its own, its a little out of place to give permission for something he doesn't need your permission for to begin with. After one week, he doesn't need your 'ok' to date around.
What he hears is altogether different; He hears "I don't like you so go away".
He figures you are being polite and asking him to, well, go away. And you find yourself in your current situation.
Why do you this you ask. I think you are correct. Insecurity. Its a devil of an emotion and it bites all of us. Especially in love.
How do you fix it? Stop telling them that after ONE WEEK. You haven't given the relationship enough time to develop. Sit back and see where it goes...it may fizzle out and you two drift apart. It may become hot and passionate or anything in between.
Believe me, if he wants to date others he will. It his choice, not yours. If you want to date others, go ahead. Its only a problem if you say or reasonable imply a relationship exists. Only have that little talk when you want to date another or sense he wants to.
My .02
2007-01-31 04:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by jw 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just think guys are out to hurt you. I feel the same way but what I do is that I take things slowly and if I don't block my emotions. I do this to prevent getting hurt but don't tell him to go date other people just tell him that you do like him but if you seem distant it's cuz your sacred of getting hurt and he's gonna have to prove to you that he wont hurt you. But in the end getting hurts is for the better..."what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger."
2007-01-31 04:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by aquarius2389 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its normal to sometimes feel insecure even afraid of rejection
but dont play those childish games and "test" him-youll be awfully dissapointed if he fails your little test
just be honest with him say--look i really like you-i want to be exclusive-guys dig honesty-he will respect you more if you act more mature about it
2007-01-31 04:32:58 · answer #3 · answered by amazing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was kinda like that but i would ask him why he was waiting around for me(couldn't date at the time) when he could get another so easily! i was insecure thinking"what's so great about me?" so maybe that's what your going thru, good luck
2007-01-31 04:32:25 · answer #4 · answered by shine_on 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's natural to want to protect yourself from a heartache truth is your going get hurt. Don't push them away. tell them exatly how you feel, what your fear about, don't expect men to guess what you want.
2007-01-31 04:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by rqerita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are afraid of getting hurt which is perfectly ok but if you really like a dude don't do that!!
2007-01-31 04:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋