i dont trust my bf for many reason but i stopped having sex with him. because afterwards i would see a change in him. is like he was acting like he didnt care what i feel or thought and that made me feel used. he says one thing and does another. so am i wrong for with holding. im sure one day he will leave cuz of that and i prepared for it. what do you think?
2007-01-31 04:05:21 · 21 answers · asked by eaglestraces123 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Nope, you're right on target. If you don't feel valued, why would you do that with him?
2007-01-31 04:09:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That sounds like a slow painful way to end a relationship. It's not necessarily wrong, but there are consequences. You already know that he will eventually leave. If you know the relationship isn't going to last, isn't right for you, why not put it to a more graceful ending? Call it quits.
On the other hand, if you want to make it work then you need to work at it. Identify the reasons why you're not trusting. Own the feelings, but let him know what you need in order to be able to trust him. Part of his withdrawal after sex could be just the normal, natural cycle that guys go through of intimacy then autonomy. But if he is not treating you well after, that's another issue. You deserve to be treated well before, during, and after. Decide how you want to be treated, set the standard and hold him to it. If it's a match he'll want to please you, if not, the time will come to face that it's not a match, and move on.
2007-01-31 04:23:36 · answer #2 · answered by shine_radiantstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you talk to him about how you feel instead of just doing something that will make him break up with you? I think that he will be a little pissed if you just stop having sex with him, especially since he doesn't know the reason. But if you were to talk to him and tell him why and how you are feeling then he might change. I don't feel you have anything to lose because you are pretty much prepared for the relationship to end anyways.
Why do women gotta use sex as a weapon?
2007-01-31 04:09:53 · answer #3 · answered by Tedo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is not a right, it is a privilege shared by someone else. You are better only having sex when you feel ready and are with someone that you trust.
All relationships need communication so I recommend that you continue talking things through with him, so that you both improve your understanding of each other's needs and what's going on in your minds.
Our beliefs about future outcomes do influence the results that we get, so it may be worth paying attention to what's on your mind and clearing any stuff that could make for worse results.
Good luck! Rob
2007-01-31 04:12:15 · answer #4 · answered by Rob E 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that he's using you for sex then your doing the right thing by not sleeping with him. If thats what he's doing then after a while without sex then he'll leave. See if he still loves you and wants to be with you after a while of not having sex, he has a hand, he can beat it for a while.
2007-01-31 04:16:30 · answer #5 · answered by taco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not wrong if you feel that you're being used. But if you're using sex to get what you want...you're the one using. It seems that you use sex to control your relationship and you should stop. I don't think that he's the only one at fault here. If he leaves you because you're controlling him with sex...then it's probably for the best.
2007-01-31 04:12:30 · answer #6 · answered by Michelle M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is a big thing in any relationship. If you don't trust him you shouldn't be with him. Especially when you ahve to resort to withholding anything from him. Sounds liek you are in an unhealthy relationship and need to really think about continuing this.
2007-01-31 04:10:42 · answer #7 · answered by jaws1013 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust your boyfriend, why would you be with him much less have sex with him? No, I don't feel that you are wrong, but you need to really think about whether you should be with this guy or not.
2007-01-31 04:11:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't trust him, just leave him. TRUST is the most important ingredient of any relationship. So, if trust is missing from it there is no use continuing it and getting depressed and frustrated at a later stage. Put a period (.) to it!!!
2007-01-31 04:13:58 · answer #9 · answered by AB2874 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not wrong. Probly the better thing to do - you will see his true colors. He may do you a favor if he leaves.
Don't forget: he is not the only guy in the world. There's a much better one out there - one who respects you.
2007-01-31 04:12:02 · answer #10 · answered by In my humble opinion... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you act like to much of a freak in the bed and makes him uncomfortable afterwards
2007-01-31 04:10:44 · answer #11 · answered by 4skyn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋