i have a friend who has owned a business with her husband for 22 years. they have 2 teenage boys and the business is going into bankruptcy. they will probably lose their home.. they are in liquadition. i dont have a lot of money but i know they are hurting...how do i go about giving them some money...im only talking about a few hundred dollars...i dont want to insult them...should i just give gift cards...what would u suggest. thanks inadvance
2007-01-31 03:56:05 · 15 answers · asked by Suzy 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just put some gift cards in their mail box or on their front step. If you want to remain anonymous, that's a good way.
2007-01-31 04:00:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Give it anonymously. One way you could do it is to have a neutral party who they know would not be giving them money, and ask that neutral invididual to hand them an envelope which has the cash in it. That person could tell your friends that they were asked to give it to them, but that they are not at liberty to tell who it was. That is one way. It keeps their dignity intact and they are not able to refuse the money, seeing as it will be in a sealed envelope that can be opened once the person who hands them the envelope quickly leaves after giving it to them. The problem with gift cards is that if you don't know what their specific financial need is, then cash is better. That way they can put it towards their greatest need. If you suspect that your friends will naturally think you are the giver, and you want to avoid this, then tell them plain and simply that you care about them and that you are giving them a gift. Tell them it is NOT a loan, and that you are putting your foot down because you want to to this. Tell them that you know they are having a tough time, and you want to help, however you can, even if it doesn't help a lot. Tell them you will not accept no for an answer and that BECAUSE it is a gift, they must accept it because it is impolite to refuse a gift from a friend. Tell them that you know they would do the same for you if the situation was reversed. Don't make a big deal about it, but instead, be firm and resolved in the fact that you are doing this and there is no room for discussion. I have been on the receiving end myself when times have been hard, and my pride would make it very difficult to receive. When a person is adamant and leaves no room for discussion or argument, it has been easier to accept the gift because my pride could not possibly be hurt in the process since the giver was so adamant. Good luck to you and your friends.
2007-01-31 04:17:08 · answer #2 · answered by Chimichanga to go please!! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't give it anonymously .... it seems like a good idea....but then they would have no idea who thinks they need it...a double insult in my opinion. Personally I would hate that.
When giving from the heart like that I find it best to speak with them and give the recipient an excuse to accept it.
For example say that you know they are short for ready cash right now and you have some spare money that you were going to invest or something but would rather help them with it. Suggest maybe they want to use if for something their kids need.
That way they know it is surplus to your needs, that you understand they are just going through a temporary hard time and also gives them a good reason to accept.
A supermarket gift card would be good, or maybe a store like Walmart/Target where you can buy food and school supplies.
Cash too....not sure how hard it is to hide cash from the bankruptcy court...but shouldn't be too hard.
Good luck....everyone should be so lucky to have a friend like you.
(I liked Phoenix's idea too).
PS I am having second thoughts about saying the anonymous idea is no good...I guess it might be nice to have an anonymous best friend, a bit like a valentine's card...maybe a note saying the above but just signed from a good friend.
2007-01-31 04:15:00 · answer #3 · answered by yepwellmaybe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them out of support and encourage them that this is just a phase. Yeah I know what they are going through is so tough, but you know sincere words and comfort from a friend strengthens them. You can hand it to them when youre about to leave. Then make a joke or two that could really lift their spirit a bit. An innocent laugh plus a freind for keeps is the greatest blessing someone can have at this time of crisis. Just remind them that you totally understand what they're going through - in the most sincerest way. They would feel it too. Goodluck!
2007-01-31 04:05:43 · answer #4 · answered by shanekeavy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe instead of giving them money, buy things for them. Like stop by with dinner or groceries once in a while. Drive the kids if they need to go somewhere. Tell them that you want to take the kids shopping for a few things like new shoes. This way they can save some of their own money and it doesn't seem like you are treating them like a charity case. Gas, groceries, and food are sucking up a lot of their money, so these "donations" will be welcomed.
2007-01-31 04:06:01 · answer #5 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you give them cash, they would have to disclose that to the bankruptcy court because all cash on hand must be accounted for. If you want to help and know their needs, I would go with gift cards and just give it to them with a note to let them know that you were thinking of them and wanted to show your support. I'd leave it at that and not mention money problems. You're a sweet person.
2007-01-31 04:01:31 · answer #6 · answered by glitterkittyy 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It depends, if they are known moochers, then as hard as it may be, you'll have to watch them fall.
But if they are good, kind people, who would pay you the money back, just walk forward and tell them the truth. "I know you're hard up for money, and I'll offer you a loan if you'd like." Tell them its interest free (if you can do that).
If its their business has been doing well before, then maybe they have just hit a big low like many businesses do.
Give them encouragement to continue their business and maybe they can pull through.
2007-01-31 04:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by lorddonk 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't give out of the blue. Give them on occasions such as the boys birthdays, their birthdays, Christmas or their religious celebrations. Giving to them for no reason at all will make them feel "funny" about the gift.
2007-01-31 13:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest gift cards from a grocery store. No matter what else happens, they still need to eat.
2007-01-31 04:06:20 · answer #9 · answered by kcbranaghsgirl 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Gift cards. I'd start with one to a grocery store.
2007-01-31 16:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋