Should I try and find my sister?

Question

I'm wondering if I should try and find my sister. She stole money from my Dad whilst he was dying, my mother walked out when I was 3 and had no contact with us and I think she blamed my Dad. When Dad died she moved into my Dad's place 9having been thrown out when we found out about the money) where my brother and I were living with her alcoholic boyfriend and caused so many problems, in the end my brother and I wanted to sell up and I haven't seen her since which is nearly 3 years ago, there is more to this but too long to go into now. I don't have much family and I'm wondering what she's up to nowerdays. I am 26 wks pregnant and I'd like to at least know she has a neice on the way but she's not exactly a stable person and has a personality disorder. I could never trust her around my baby but she's still family. I couldn't tell my rother or my uncle (my only family left) if I did try to get in contact, they are still so upset with her. Am I better off leaving it?

Answer 1

you should if you really really care

Answer 2

If I were you i would leave it all together.. some relationships aren't healthy and seeing her again may not do you any good. What your sister did was unforgivable. It's obvious she has no conscience.

I cut all ties with my father after giving him many chances.. I always ended up being used and abused by him. Some parent's just aren't cut out to be parents and some siblings aren't worth worrying about.. it's obvious she isn't worried about you as she hasn't tried to contact you has she.

Why don't you just put a notice in the paper when the baby is born and if she sees it and contacts you then you can perhaps make tentative moves after that.

Enjoy the family you have and who love you now.. there may be a chance to build bridges with your sister one day, but let her contact you..

I hope this helps.

Good luck with the birth of your baby.. :)

Answer 3

Don't think anyone can give you correct advice because you know you could just be creating problems for yourself. Again she is close family and you may have deep feelings for her. I would ask yourself really and truly why you want to see her, you say you would at least like her to know she has a niece on the way. However (not saying you are) this could be an excuse as you are really curious as to what has become of her. If it is this maybe you best leave it alone. If it is out of real love for her then you must go ahead but I would suggest if meeting you do so in neutral ground like a restaurant etc.

Answer 4

I would, i mean i have two sister and because i find it so hard to forgive my dad it kills me not to talk to them so one day i decide to make contact its still early days but things are going good. if you miss her as much as you seem to do and would like her to be apart of your live even if its just a card at Christmas or on each others birthday, then do it. At least you won't be spending the rest of your life wondering what would of happen and if she refuse to make contact or if things don't turn out the way you had hoped don't be upset that doesn't mean your any less of a person or parent, she just doesn't know what she is missing.

I guess the choice is yours but if i was you i give it a go. People come in and out of our life oh so often these day, the people that mean the most to you, you often be the people that hurt you the most.

I hope everything turns out for the best and keeping smiling xxx xxx

Answer 5

It sounds like you really want to find her and I think you should if you are that concerned. If it has been 3 years, she may have changed some and not be as unstable as before. Family is family and we all make mistakes and deserve the chance to be forgiven and have another chance. You say you only have your brother and uncle- who does she have? Maybe if you reach out to her, she will be thankful and glad to have a family member that cared enough to give her a chance. And if things don't work out, at least you can say you gave it a try and won't feel guilt or wonder about her anymore. Go for it and good luck. don't worry about what your brother and uncle say, you make your own choices, let them make theirs.

Answer 6

You wouldn't be able to trust her with your child, your only close relatives would be angry or disappointed that you had made contact and you say that she has a personality disorder. Is she really going to be a good influence on you or your surroundings if you do make contact? She is untrustworthy, erratic and willing to steal from a dying man, her father no less! My honest opinion is to leave it be, there is no shame with wondering about her and wanting to know how she is doing but if you invite her to be part of your life again it will be you that loses out. I hope you make the right decision for yourself, Whatever you choose i hope it all works out!

Answer 7

i had a brother similar to your sister,he stole off us all,we still used to hide our things from him,
but you know in your heart that she is still your sister,it was bad what she did,but with what she has got will probably never change,
money would probably be her main thing with an alcoholic boyfriend to get his supply of booze,
just phone her first ,or write her a letter explaining how you feel about what has happened,
she probably regrets what she has done but does not want to make the first move as you are undecided as well about contacting her,one of you has got to make the first move you are blood,
just wait until you are clearer minded after the baby,and if you still feel the same do something,
with my brother i am going to try it in 2 weeks tI'me as its a family wedding,and see where i go from there,as im missing my nieces terribly,
all i can say is good luck in what you decide x

Answer 8

This is this anwer your going to get, and i don't want the best answer crap, for this. cause this is real.

If your sister died would you have any regrets.Simple, if you fill so much dis trust you could live your life without a second thought, not even a hi. Then you r better off.But if your not you know the rest.Do the right thing.(She's Family)

Answer 9

no if she needs you for anything she will be in touch
i know its hard as a new mum you won't to show off your baby and be a family but your sister will only use and end up hurting you more if you do contact her you could loose the family you have and then end up with no one but your baby etc.

Answer 10

She is family so you should try to reconcile with her. It sounds like she has really wronged you but sometimes though it maybe hard you need to try to forgive someone. Who knows maybe by seeing her again she will try to better her life or has bettered her life already

Answer 11

NO
Leave it.

the only thing worse than a person who is trouble is a person who is trouble and to whom you are atracted to like a moth.