Fifteen years in a wonderful marriage and a friend of mine ask when does he stop being the only person giving to his wife's sister and their family. We were talking last night and he has constantly has been giving nice items to his sister-in-law, to her husband and their children. He only communicates through his wife but not once have they given anything back; their hands have extended more since he makes good money and has nice things. What struck the questions was when he gave to some very, very poor friends of his family and they were so appreciative they used some of their money that he gave to buy him a cake to show appreciation. This made him feel good but the next day his sister-in-law asked if one of their children could have one of his computers. Now he feels used since she has never given anything back; not even a thank you card. When is enough enough??? I know we should not give to receive but at the same time, I don't feel he should be sucked dry.
2007-01-31 03:45:38 · 6 answers · asked by George S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When someone keeps giving and giving and there is nothing in return (not even a thank you) he is being used. I understand his need to help, but he is being taken advantaged of.
2007-01-31 04:19:05 · answer #1 · answered by Bridgette B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has to be a point where you say no. My father-in-law is the same way. We've given him money and many nice items that he doesn't take care. I drew the line when he decided to move in with us and refused to look for a job. My husband gave him money for food, which he spent on cigarettes for himself and his lady friend. Then we bought him a suit for job interviews, and found it wadded up in the trash. That's when we said enough.
2007-01-31 11:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by Trisha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe there is a difference between a hand extended in need and a hand extended in greed.A person needs to learn the difference.
2007-01-31 12:06:30 · answer #3 · answered by CRZYDV 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have earned to stop giving, period, if someone needed food- I'd be there-but other than that I give to charity, a gift is 'gravy' we are never obliged to supply family with gifts. don't give and watch their reaction, let them come to you, and then explain you are giving to people who are very needy. It's character building for you. [and hopefully them too] Trust me, they don't appreciate what you give.
2007-01-31 11:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to explain to his wife that he feels it is time to start giving to charities that he can deduct for tax purposes.
2007-01-31 12:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by kelleyann_p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to learn to say no, tell them that he cant afford to take care of his family and theirs too.
2007-01-31 11:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by sissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋