I was invited to my ex-boyfriends wedding. We are still close friends. I am not attending, because it would be uncomfortable since the bride to be is not a fan of my friendship with her husband to be. So do I send a gift? If so any suggestions?
2007-01-31 03:32:46 · 18 answers · asked by sammy1980 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Hi,
No, nothing forces you to send a gift. Even a card, you know, you are not really obliged. Do you think that if you were going on your wedding and your future husband was receiving a card or a gift from his ex-girlfriend it would make you pleasure? He might wish to keep it, but not you. Try one second to put yourself in her shoes. And you did in a way because you decided not to show up at their marriage, good choice. She might not appreciate a card or so. But, if you see both prior or after the wedding, you always can say you thought about sending something, but you didn't for her feelings or you didn't know if it was proper or not to do so.
Now, it is up to you if you really want to send something to them.
Good luck!
I hope the fact they marry doesn't hurt your feelings too much also.
2007-01-31 04:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by MY.ETERNEL.LOVE4YOU.HUSBAND 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wish to remain friends with your ex-boyfriend you must make friends with his new wife.
First, not attending the wedding is a mistake. Go to the wedding and make it a point to greet the new wife and say something nice that acknowledges THEIR wedding. Shake his hand, give her a hug.
If you feel you just can't go to the wedding, then you can send a nice gift. It also would go a long way in acknowledging THEIR marriage to each other. Send a nice card along with it saying you are glad he found such a wonderful person and you are sure they will have a long and happy marriage.
Lastly, never ever meet with your ex-boyfriend alone as that will cause nothing but problems.
2007-01-31 05:17:37 · answer #2 · answered by forgivebutdonotforget911 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is entirely optional.
If you do decide to send something,
1) send it to the address provided BEFORE the wedding. There is nothing worse that ignorant people showing up to a reception with enormous boxes that the wedding party has to monitor and catalog.
2) do not send anything personal, or useable only by the groom. Send something they both could enjoy or use together. I like gift certificates or cards for this purpose.
Good luck!
2007-01-31 04:05:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought that maybe this is her way of trying to open the door of friendship? She might not be a fan of your friendship, but she might be trying. You did get an invitation and if she was that against the friendship, you probably wouldn't have gotten one. I can understand not going to the wedding, but I would send either a gift or a card to show your congratulations to them.
2007-01-31 06:32:23 · answer #4 · answered by justaquestion 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically speaking, if you are invited to an event, proper etiquette dictates that you are to send a gift.
Kudos to you for being such a class act! I say, by all means, if you're comfortable with it, send a gift. If you send it before the wedding, maybe champagne glasses and a bottle of bubbly for the reception?
I hope your friends bride-to-be comes around and begins to accept you as the good friend you clearly are!
2007-01-31 04:01:06 · answer #5 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know a couple who did both. When you sent a gift, since gifts are sent prior to the wedding, a thank you note was sent. Then after the wedding, if you attended, you received a photo of the couple with a thank you for sharing in their special day post card.
2016-05-23 22:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since the bride is not in favor of the friendship, you should respect her wishes, which most likely would be not to send a gift. This was an excellent question, and I think you are very considerate for asking.
2007-01-31 04:53:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't send a gift. If the bride is not a fan of your friendship with her husband-to-be, your gift will get dumped because she doesn't like seeing it in her house since it will remind her husband of you.
You might want to send them a card, which I think she will dump too.
The only thing she won't dump is gift certificates.
2007-01-31 13:44:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know anybody else that will be attending? If you do, then have them take the gift to the reception for you. Is is mother still living? If she is, give it to her to give to them. Or just send it UPS to his home, if you know the address.
2007-01-31 03:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by Tonya W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would send a card with a gift card. That way, you give them a gift, but it isn't too personal for his new wife's view of you.
2007-01-31 03:36:49 · answer #10 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋