i am preg and my bf is not being too nice?

Question

my boyfriend was replying to texts or texting an ex girlfriend who when i started going out with him he told me that he would love to get back with her. he says things have changed now i am preg and i think he stopped texting her but do i have a right to be mad at him. this girl when he told her i was preg (she is an attention seeker) started telling him she had a miscarraige. when i told him that she was looking for attention he told me i was nasty for saying that

Answer 1

Hi Kelly,
Wow, you sound a lot like me. I got into all kinds of painful relationships. They usually didn't last long. I was always the one getting hurt, and I could never figure out why. I am going to offer some advice from a different angle. It is your choice to accept it or not. You don even read it for that matter. But it is what helped me, and I am hoping it helps you...

Kelly, from what I have read, I am willing to believe that you are a really hurt, and/or even possibly, abused young lady. I would imagine that a lot of your pain has been buried or hidden from those who were part of it, possibly for quite some time now. And, if we were to talk face to face, you would really be able to tell me some war stories of being hurt. It is hard to understand why, but soft, gentle, kind-hearted girls/women often times, seem to attract the emotional abusive/hurtful/mistrusting types. That is not saying that there are no good guys out there, because there are.

It seems that your pain is not only hurting you, but now is spreading into your relationship. Relationships can be difficult, and in order for them to succeed there must be a foundation to them. That foundation must be based upon principles and truths: Love, trust, honor, respect… These are the blocks used to build a great relationship. So, ask yourself if you see these building blocks in yours.

With the foundation better understood, let’s start to see what is going on.

Here is my take on one part. “I am pregnant”

4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1 Cor 7:4

God looks upon two who have had intercourse, as married. Not marriage in the sense of state law, but God’s law. Read what Jesus stated to a Samaritan woman who was sleeping with 5 different men, but has not yet slept with the 6th man:
16 He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back."
17 "I have no husband," she replied.
Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."
John 4:16-18

If you are to succeed in this relationship, a position of husband and wife, through state law, must be made to complete the circle.


Take two: “my bf is not being too nice”

Here, we are back to principles (or laws)

There are two types of laws that people need to abide to:
1.God’s law – this is first and foremost the 10 commandments. Secondly, the bible itself. However, God knew that there were going to be many who did not abide by His law, so man’s law was created.
2.Man’s law - This includes speed limits, marriage law, civil rights… the list goes on an on.

I felt that I needed to offer this brief explanation to help you understand this next verse.
Please remember, no one is judging. I have broken the same exact laws. In fact that is why I know them so well…
19 The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20 idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21 and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
What I am deriving at is your “bf” is either in one category or the other. He is either in the acts of sinful nature or he is not. With sinful nature comes abuse, anger, lying… This is what man’s law was created to combat, but with the fruit of the Spirit, man’s law is not needed… What path is he following?


Next: “my boyfriend was replying to texts or texting an ex girlfriend who when I started going out with him he told me that he would love to get back with her.”

Foundational principles being broken again: Respect, integrity, honesty…

We can either spend our lives fighting and arguing each and every issue that arises, or we can search the source and pull it out from the roots. If we work on living our lives in the Law (or principles), “issues” would pretty much be obsolete.


The last one: “do I have a right to be mad at him.”

This is what the bible says:

37 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven. 38 Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full—pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back.
Luke 6:37, 38

This is where Hinduism and Buddhism derived the alternative, called Karma. In any case, I don’t know about rights, but you can be mad at whoever you choose. Just keep in mind that it will come back to you.

Here is another thought: One of the commandments is “You shall not commit murder.” Did you know that the bible states that if you have anger in your heart you have committed murder? (Matthew 5:21)

I leave you with this: This is one of the many gifts being a Christian has to offer.

13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. 14 The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." 15 If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.
Galatians 5:13-15

Your brother in Christ,
Rodney C

Answer 2

The best way to get back your ex is https://tr.im/AHfQR

Here's the hard part: Pretend she never existed, like it was all a dream, don't call her, that will make you the smaller person, be the bigger person since you deserve better, what she did to you on Valentines Day was immature, especially after dating for four years. This person wasted allot of your time and through it out the window. Go out tonight, even it it is only yourself, don't drink and call or feel sorry for yourself, this will only cause you embarrassment! I know your hurting..This will eventually will go away in time. Today is not a good day for you and your emotions are spinning all over the place.

Please, whatever you do, don't answer her calls and don't call her. If she keeps calling, which she pro bally won't, don't return her call for 5 days. Make her sweat and DO Not get back together right away if you discuss this in 5 days. Tell her since she Broke up with you, you have done allot of thinking, and had the taste of "being single again" and you would like more time being "friends" for now, so you are sure you are making the right decision. Remember "She decided she didn't want to be with you" so the door is open for you to get out and see what you have been missing for four years. You honestly need to do this for yourself.

She doesn't know, but what she did was give you the best valentines day present you will ever get! A new start and a new beginning, use it to your advantage. You will look back on this and Thank God this happened now instead of 4 more wasted years of YOUR life. Today does suck, stay Strong and I promise you your life is going to be so much more exciting and you are going to be happy. If you continue to call and call her, she will think of you as needy and won't want you. She is going to rethink what she did to you today and will be hurt, if you act like you could care less. Girls always want the ones they can't have. That is who you are now to her. Let her suffer,realizing what a mistake she made. This will drive her crazy. Right now she is on cloud 9 thinking you will take her back, OH, is she stupid!

Your life isn't ruined, hers is..She lost someone special, and gave you a gift to let to live life and find someone you deserve. You are not getting back at her, your teaching her what an idiot she is and what she lost and what you gained without her. SO when You eventually talk to her, tell her thank you for what she did...
She will be hurt and you will be happy!

Answer 3

Its a serious matter is misscarriage, and should not be used uneccessarily. Misscarriage is a very stressful and emotional time for the mother and father to experience. And to be honest the only person who knows if she's telling the truth or not is her.

Should she be telling the truth, then she'll need support and plenty of it. She may also be experiencing a kick of jealousy with your situation, so be gentle.

However if she's lieing then simply talking to her about what had 'happened' and how she's coping, how others have coped, the acceptance of it and how long recover both emotionaly and physically will take her, may make her realise what she's doing and make her feel bad for what she claimed. Then she'd stop and think about how its really happened to others.

As I said before, only she knows if shes telling the truth or not, but you cant afford to not belive her, as much as to not believe her, afterall its a serious matter, maybe she needs that explaining to her?

Answer 4

I was in the same position as you almost four years ago and I feel for you. I think if there is one thing I learned from it is that you need to worry about your own needs right now. Focus on your needs, with out putting him into the equation.Be good to yourself, surround yourself with people who love and care about you, and stay fierce! Remember, you are always in charge of your own destiny. Sounds like you you may be jealous of the ex (which is totally legitimate) Maybe you could tell him that is how you are feeling. Sometimes people respond best to real honesty!
Good luck!

Answer 5

I think that you should really focus on yourself and the baby in terms of: eating well, reading all the relevant care info, stable accommodation that does not depend on the boyfriend and building on your support network of family and friends. Be aware of professional agencies and have a contingency plan for your boyfriend being unreliable. Hopefully he will respond positively to your proactive commitment to this child and the future which will set you in good stead. If his behaviour does not improve to be supportive, or deteriorates further, you will have laid the foundations for the tough decision of going it alone - hard work, but better than a volatile situation for your child and you.

Answer 6

if your boyfriend isnt treating you well then you are better off without him. Its important that your baby is brought up in a stable and safe enviroment. You dont have to be with your boyfriend in order for you both to be good parents,you need to do whats best for you and the baby especially. He should be getting a job if he hasnt got one already and he should be supporting the baby. If your on benefits then you will be entitled to milk tokens and also a maternity grant of £500 to buy things for your baby like a cot, bedding, steriliser, bottles, clothing and a pram. If you decide not to stay with your boyfriend then you should talk to him about arrangements for things like the birth and about when he will see the baby ect once he or she is born. I would advise you to both be adult about this whole situation and make it as easy as possible on you both for the sake of your baby.good luck

Answer 7

Want to know how to get your ex back? Change yourself. Don't worry about changing other people, worry about changing yourself. Go to https://tr.im/djSqQ

Once you do that then you can start to worry about getting back together with your ex, other wise you will find that you are fighting about all the same things and getting no where. Do what it takes and I promise things will work out in your favor.

The funny thing is I came to the realization that I had to change a little too late. After I was kicked out and after I was about to lose the only things that truly mattered to me - her love. A funny thing happens when we truly love someone and lose them. We do what ever it takes to get them back. For me I had to drop bad habits that had caused not only our relationship to sour but practically every other relationship I had had in the past. Not only with women, but with friends, co-workers, family, you name it.

Which is why I say to you as my ex at the time said to me, the only thing you can do is change yourself. Work on yourself and improve on the person that you already are. Drop the negative things in your life that don't belong there and you will see all of your relationships start to take off to new heights.

Answer 8

each little thing you're doing is faulty. at the beginning, are not getting pregnant. while he starts asking you for intercourse, go away the abode or room and flow someplace else. continuously refuse. you're 14 and you're able to no longer be dealing with this. in case you get pregnant, he will unload you once you're a single mom with a baby who has no theory who that is father develop into and in no way will. in case you do no longer start up refusing, sooner or later, he will rape you. that is sexual abuse, so in case you particularly wanna stay with him with the possibility of him nonetheless asking you for intercourse, basically plan dinner and then flow abode. that is it. do no longer wanna lead this to rape.

Answer 9

He dose not sound like the most great boyfriend.
to be honest you need support your having a child, you don't need that kind of stress
for the look of it, he is still hung up on this girl
which is not on!
if he keeps doing this i would leave him hun, don't put up with that crap, if you need some support, feel free to email me x

Answer 10

Man. This sounds like a lot of drama. I'd just remove myself from that situation - boyfriend. He sounds like he's not in this with you at all.

Answer 11

Get rid of him straight away.
OK it is better to have two parents but when one of them is a total loser it cannot be beneficial.
Take care of yourself and your baby and don't waste any of your valuable energy on a wanker like this!!!
Good luck