I am engaged to a wonderful guy and we're getting married this fall. However, when we first started dating, he had just been dumped by a girl he loved very much bc she wanted another guy and had been cheating. A month and a half into it, he put things on hold for awhile to check and see if he still had feelings for her. I was devastated. She contacted him, wanting to meet and when they did, she proceeded to re-tell him in detail how she cheated on him and they got in a huge argument and that was that. She just wanted to manipulate him. We have been together ever since, over a year now, and we are very happy and I trust him 100%. Recently, the ex felt the need to email me and remind me that I was his "second choice" but that he did love me now. Now it is all I think about, and I feel really crappy bc I really was his second choice. If she had been nice to him when they met, he probably wouldve chosen her over me bc she held his past and he loved her so much. How can I get over this?
2007-01-31 02:06:00 · 21 answers · asked by HayleyD 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Do you feel like the rebound girl? How much time elapsed between his break-up then started dating you?
His ex is catty and childish. She likes to play with his head and she knows that she can, and will no doubt try to drive a wedge between you two. Obviously, her agenda is to be manipulative.
Next time she sends you an e-mail, spam it and block her from sending you anything. Just remember, you are the one he is marrying, not her. It sounds to me that you are his first choice because he trusts and loves you that much more.
2007-01-31 02:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by Ella 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This girl has nothing better to do then try to make you feel bad about yourself and your relationship. Guess what? I am sure that deep down inside of her, she realizes that she lost a good thing, and that she will never be able to get that back. You can't think of it as being his second choice. There are a million other girls out there, and if he didn't love you he would be with someone else. You were right when you said that she holds his past, but you are his present, and together both of you can have a future. Just know that there is a part of him that may always care about her. There is nothing you can do about that, all you can do is love him regardless, and be the best g/f you can be. He will love you for it!
2007-01-31 02:27:57 · answer #2 · answered by spoiledrottenchica1987 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy wants to get married to you and he's reminding you that you're his SECOND choice?? When he said he wanted some time to see if he still had feelings for his ex I would've dumped him on the spot. If he really loved you he would love you and his ex doesn't matter. If you guys get married, expect him to cheat when he's not completely happy. This guy is looking for someone else even before you guys get married.
So the answer is don't get over it - dump him. There's plenty of guys out there without the need for you being with someone who's treating you like crap.
2007-02-08 01:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by pinkpanther_006_2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of her as an experiment. You do realize that you sometimes have to rule out that first choice to get to what you really want and will be good for you. She was a b---h for e-mailing you though apparently . Maybe she realized what she has lost and can never get back because you are now his new first choice. Probably sounds mixed up but if you think about it may make sense to you. You can't always come in first.
2007-02-07 23:34:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, his first choice sounds like a real gem! Put the ex out of your mind as you are certainly his BEST choice. I would not worry about what had happened a month and a half into your relationship with your now fiance. I am sure at that time he was confused and hurt and needed to know if he was making the right decision with his ex. You should feel a sense of pride that he came back to you as again you were his best choice. Good luck with your wedding, the rest of your lives and be sure to treat each other right.
2007-02-07 17:41:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hayley you are looking at this thing all wrong. The other girl is just someone he tried out before he found the one that was exactly right....you. His actions tell you that is true because his boots are at the foot of your bed now, not someone else's. He may have had a hard time breaking loose from her but he probably knows now that it was the best thing that could have happened to him. Have you ever talked directly and frankly to him about it and had him tell it to you in his own words? If you feel like a second choice talk to him about it. If he really loves you he will go out of his way to show you that you are number 1.
2007-02-08 00:57:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let this pathetic excuse for a women get to you. She was to him what I call puppy love...he thought he loved her and would do anything for her, but in return he got **** on by her. You were his first good choice. at least he can trust and count on you to stay buy his side throught thick and thin. You were the best choice he every made. He should be thankfull that you are so loving and caring. But like I said she's pathetic, don't waist your time on scum like that. Have a great relationship with your man and a happy life. Good Luck Hun. I wish you & you man the best. :)
2007-02-07 16:32:04 · answer #7 · answered by shorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU are the one that is engaged to him and he obviously loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. You are his future, she WAS the past! You aren't second in his eyes I'm sure. Talk to him. Trust me, I had doubts 2 months prior to my own wedding and because I didn't talk to my fiance about it - I lost him. That was 17 years ago now and wish every day that I could go back and change things. Just love him and let him love you.
2007-02-08 01:49:03 · answer #8 · answered by Stacy S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont let this girl get to you. Your guy is with you and only you. If he really wanted to be with his ex again he would've been with her already. You are not his second choice, you are his only choice. If she keeps e-mailing you and everything, i would change your e-mail address and talk to your fiancee. I think that she's just jealous because you and him are engaged and there is nothing she can do about it.
2007-01-31 02:24:43 · answer #9 · answered by Jaime A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you don't act in the way she did and are loving and supportive of him in the future, he'll know that you were his number one choice all along. You were not his 'second choice' but rather his first good choice!
2007-01-31 02:20:26 · answer #10 · answered by thingfishy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋