Is it too much to ask my husband to be there for me . I have traveled to be with him for work on the other side of the world. I am lonely and he is so not there for me. He says he buys me things when i need them like medication or anything i need at a drop of a hat. He will go out of his way and that should be enough to prove to me that he is there for me. I need more !!! Am i asking too much? I asked him to tell me if he doesnt want me here to let me go home at least I'm in my comfort zone in my house and i have friends and i could get a job. I have lived this way for years and each time he promises it will get better if i support him in his job and be with him we will do things and enjoy our stay, it never happens this way. He has his outlet at work and chats etc i am stuck on my own. It's not fair that he treats me this way. Most of the time the accomodation is out of the way so i can't go shopping etc unless i get a public transport.
2007-01-31 02:04:36 · 16 answers · asked by angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
its not too much to ask, but you have to ask specifics of what you want... tell him that "buying" you things is not what you want, you want the emotional support from him too, but it goes both ways you must support him too..
why dont you get yourself a job, even if its only part time... then you will be out meeting new people and having a break from the mundain routine of being a housewife, it will help to build your confidence and give you your own sence of self back again.
2007-01-31 02:10:19 · answer #1 · answered by merrpet 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you could try some form of counseling together. I think it's also important for you to try to remember what it was about him that made you want to marry him. If you were OK with how things were in the beginning, what has changed that you're now unhappy? As for not being able to go shopping and such because you have to use public transportation... what's the big deal? Millions of people rely on public transportation every day to get to work, doctor's appointments, and to go shopping. I guess I'm not understanding the full magnitude of what's going on. Perhaps more detail would help. Good luck to you and I hope all works out for you.
2007-01-31 10:19:50 · answer #2 · answered by Andrea 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it, you feel left out and alone for being in a strange land. im sorry you feel that way.
People normally have different ways of coping with this scenario. Perhaps, you could try widening your realm and find you own circle of friends. Im sure there are other like you who feel the same way in the community where you live right now. Take the active role by reaching out to them. Do random acts of kindness. Even if you dont speak their language, remember that charity is universal. Someone will always appreciate the good that you do, regardless of their skin color.
It is a stage in your life where you are being challenged to move out of your shell and to prove your own worth. Step out of your comfort zone and make things happen. It will surely make you richer, as a person.
2007-01-31 10:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by Cyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound well so trapped there. Time to see if he's really the "man" you married. I'm not asking you to divorce him but it sure seems to be heading for that. I'm thinking maybe he's found another woman and won't let you know yet or he's just so into himself and is so selfish and self centered that you got lost some where in his dust. Give him a copy of this question and an ultimatum it's me and my life and my happiness as your wife or else type thing. Go with your heart girl on this one. So sorry you're married to a workaholic.
2007-01-31 10:12:55 · answer #4 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is time to live for YOU. If you have supported him this long just for a job, then he needs to make a decision. If you guys can get by with him taking another job, he should be willing to do so. Going home is only running from the problem, not fixing it.
2007-01-31 10:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not too much to ask....just a tad late in asking........
Your issues NOW, should have been a matter of concern BEFORE you married, so that you would've had the option of walking away. At this point, it becomes so much more difficult. You really need to ask yourself: What YOU want. Would you be happier WITH him and lonely? Or without him, and possibly not lonely? Comfort within yourself is the answer. He doesnt fill your void........Nor do you fill his.
2007-01-31 10:15:12 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all this is a crazy but true situation.... What you need to do is get a job doing something that you enjoy to occupy your time, find a hobby and then hang out with friends and enjoy life. At that time you will be able to do things for yourself and your husband can add more things to do if he wants but what it really looks like is that you need to get a life of your own and not consume so much time with your husband. I learned that a long time ago that you have to do for yourself because men in general are going to do whatever they want to do so that they can be successful but you need to be able to be successful for yourself. It seems like your life is not fulfilled and you have to do that for yourself.... Good Luck!! Kepp me posted!
2007-01-31 10:24:17 · answer #7 · answered by Mye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe I'm saying this but you need a part time friend/lover. Someone you can go out with and whoop it up every once and a while. Someone not to fool around with (exactly) but a nice friend...male friend.
Normally I'd NEVER suggest this to someone cause I was once screwed over by the love of my life when she had an affair with her boss but it sounds like you deserve more.
2007-01-31 10:16:22 · answer #8 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey I will tell you what I recently told someone else.
"I would rather be lonley alone". Sometimes you have to decide if the money is worth having you clearly dont have your husband so all you have is his money. Take it with you and be by yourself where you can enjoy life as a single woman. sounds to me like you have given him too many years as it is.
2007-01-31 10:10:29 · answer #9 · answered by soulmate_n_nc 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it's not too much to ask. He is your husband and if he loves you as much as he says he does then he should show you more respect and value your feelings and opinions. He should also be more considerate about what your going through
2007-01-31 10:15:41 · answer #10 · answered by antsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋