Im 21 years old about to graduate college and have never been in a relationship with a girl. This hasnt bothered me in the past because I was caught up with school but now as Im getting older it is - I want to be in a relationship but am so nervous about alot of things like asking a girl out - sex, (performance anxiety) I see other guys who seem to have it all together- Im not particularly involved in any cliques in school - my friends are just those people in class. What should I do? am I the only one like this and how can I stop worrying. Are there girls like this also who have never dated and are just waiting for someone to ask them?
2007-01-31 01:50:57 · 31 answers · asked by questionquestion 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The reason you are nervous is due to lack of practice & self confidence in that area. Just pick a girl you like and approach her in a friendly manner and ask her to join you for a cup of coffee or tea or even lunch. Have a friendly conversation as you would with any of your classmates to get to know each other better. Eventually, you'll gain some confidence in yourself which will lead you to ask them out on a date & the rest will follow. The slow approach is best without being pushy. Most women appreciate that.
2007-01-31 01:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by mstrywmn 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
5 years is might seem like a lot between a 16 year old and a 21 year old (and it is), but in the great scheme of things, that's nothing. Would you care if she had been 20 and he was 25? Probably not. I think it's just the idea of it (and the fact that it's illegal that they had sex) that she was a child and he was an adult. He was clearly in it for the sex, and she was smart enough to break it off. That doesn't make her a bad person. You cannot hold something like that against her. If you're going to have issues when she's honest about something from her past, then you should just end it now. At the same time, if you're turned off about things she does like dressing skimpy for Halloween (which I find obnoxious regardless of age) or having guy friends, don't expect that to change if you date or have sex. This girl clearly KNOWS she's hott and she wants the attention. Just because she doesn't dress skimpy normally and wouldn't cheat on you doesn't mean she doesn't want attention from guys. Trust me, I know. I've been there. I never dressed like a slut, but who doesn't want to feel sexy and wanted? She might have good intentions with these guy friends, but until she realizes that THEY might not have those same intentions, she's not going to change. (I didn't realize it until 2 of my guy friends kissed me the week after I broke up with my boyfriend!) Not that all guys are bad, but they're not hanging around for nothing... The main thing that I find ridiculous is that you can keep your cock in your pants. You've been dating 1 week and you're already wanting to have sex?? What is your hurry? Trust me, things can change in a relationship after that. Don't make her feel like she has to have sex to date you. Just have fun with each other and get to know each other more!
2016-03-28 22:14:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO! There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with you. I just turned 21 on the 5th. I'm female,and a college student as well, and I have NEVER had a boyfriend . NEVER. It's not from their lack of trying believe me. I'm just like you. I care about my studies to much to get in a relationship. So every guy that has asked me out from middle school, to high school, and now college I have turned down. I'm also a virgin because of this and attend to stay that way until if and when I fall in love with someone. I think it's sweet that you're a guy, a virgin, and have never dated. You are a rarity and any women you WILL get will be lucky to have you in my opinion. Just don't let other guys pressure you into banging anything with legs and don't hop into a relationship because of them either. Wait until you are good and ready and mark my words you and the women you finally get will be happy that you waited. You are a diamond in the rough.Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.
2007-01-31 13:55:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your life plan hasnt got to the whole relationship/sex stage yet. No worries. It will happen when it happens and the losers who say there is something wrong with that probually were stoned and drunk slept with a girl just to "do it" and dont have a college degree like you will. They know who they are. They cared about partying and sleeping around to feel good about themselves and now they have bad jobs and relationships. Sounds harsh a litle but Im sure your parents are pround of you. As far as when the time happens just remember the people I talked about figured it out and they arent that smart. someone will catch your eye and just ask for a date. Dont spill the virgin thing to a girl until you trust the relationship. There are mean girls out there Im sure. I was 25 the first time and had worries but seriously it will happen when it happens.
2007-01-31 02:10:06 · answer #4 · answered by stefani h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely understand that you were not interested in a female etc...I am dating and I am also a female.....but we are the easiest pleasers if you get with the right person... what you need to do is actually make yourself available and open up to meeting new people.... dress well and be well groomed that is what makes a woman interested in you. It is not haw many degrees you have and what kind of car that you drive etc. start dating and make the females your friends and then a relationship will follow. Be honest and open to the one that you may want to make your gf and I am sure she will understand. Now I also understand that you have some sexual performance anxiety I can refer you to a good flick and see where that will lead you, you will pick up a lot of moves, positions etc.
Happy lovemaking!!!
2007-01-31 02:00:01 · answer #5 · answered by Mye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there are other people who are a bit inexperienced as you seem to be...and they may have many of the same questions and concerns as yourself. At this point, my advice is to just be yourself. Asking someone out is just a simple conversation...all she can do is say no. Don't be afraid or shy to approach someone, and don't be hurt if you don't get the answer(s) you were hoping for. Move on to someone else. Once you do find someone you would like to have a relationship with (and of course that person should have mutual feelings), then I would talk to that person about your concerns. If she is the right one for you, then I think things will turn out ok.
2007-01-31 02:00:54 · answer #6 · answered by MissDiva1228 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax there buddy. Nothing is wrong with saving yourself fully for that special some one. And yes there are actually girls out there like that. Just ask them. I think you need to brave up a bit and just ask a girl out some time but make sure the feelings are mutual and that she's at least a good friend of yours first. Blind dates don't always work. I got caught up in the middle of my friends a week or so ago oh my lanta. Teens can't live with em could survive or not without em but oh well. LOL.
2007-01-31 01:59:54 · answer #7 · answered by dave_83501 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello, im nearly 19, and im in the same situation. ive talked 2 many girls online, and they think its actually good ive never had a gf b4. mainly because alot of people they have met were in it for the sex etc.... hmm about "performance" its a hard thing to overcome, but pretty much, i think you should date someone for a LONNG time before you have sex, and at that point, when u do have sex, you know the relationshop is more then just sex :) hope this helps, and GOOD luck :P (ps make sure u pick the right girl ;) )
2007-01-31 02:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by ggfddg 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Aww. I would say join an activity and meet some girls. You seem like a good guy, so I don't see a problem with you finding someone. But when you do treat her like gold if she deserves it. Don't rush into have a relationship. Do you plan to backpack through Europe or something? Maybe meet a nice girl there too. Best of luck to you and Congrats on graduating!
2007-01-31 01:57:49 · answer #9 · answered by michaellandonsmommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every guy has felt what your feeling, just at different times in there life. Most guys felt like that when they where around 16. The longer you wait and live in fear the harder it will get, so get out there and mingle. Ask a girl out that you may have talked to or that was in your class. Go to a party and have fun and you'll meet someone.
2007-01-31 02:01:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋