How do you deal with a mother-in-law that blames you for everything that goes wrong in your marriage?

Answer 1

It seems that the others who have answered this question haven't been in this situation, but believe me.....I have and I am in this situation.

My husband was raised by a single mom and she calls him "her babyboy." Even though he's 30 years old, she wants him to be dependent upon her and doesn't like sharing him with me. She likes to constantly point out my flaws and if anything goes wrong, it is always my fault.

It got so bad I couldn't take it anymore. I sat my husband down and told him how I felt. At first he was defensive for her, but I asked him to be more aware and try to see for himself. He really began to see how she was treating me and now he doesn't stand for it. He's learned to keep our marriage more private and doesn't tell her a lot of things like he used to. In some ways it made her more resentful of me but life has been better now that she doesn't always add her 2 cents or campaign against me with the rest of the family.

Your spouse is the key. He or she is the one that has to defend YOU and stand up for you.

Answer 2

It sounds like she is looking for someone to blame other than her son......maybe she doesn't want to accept the fact that she raised a less than perfect child and therefore was a less than perfect parent.
I wouldn't bother putting too much energy into this situation...I don't think you will win. Try putting your energy into your marriage. If you know you are doing the best you can, it doesn't matter what other nosey people think.
You may just need to develop the "whatever" attitude when it comes to your mother in law.
Good Luck.

Answer 3

first of all, how come she knows what goes on in your marriage? is this coming from you or your husband? your problems are just that - yours and your husband - and she should not know your business. that would stop her from blaming anyone, least of all you. but, to just answer your question, the way you asked it, i'd tell her it takes two to make a marriage, two to have a fight and two to blame if there are problems in their marriage - and the third party has no say because they don't know what goes on behind someone elses door and shouldn't get involved.

Answer 4

i understand what you're dealing with. in simple terms proceed to be advantageous once you could desire to be round her. verify you enable your husband understand the way you experience relating to the region. be certain he's accustomed to which you will no longer attempt to maintain him removed from his mom, yet ask him to appreciate your thoughts adequate to no longer make you bypass round her different than while neccessary. additionally, ask your husband to stand up for you while she says undesirable issues approximately you to him. that's what I did and at last my mom in regulation have been given the photograph. We nonetheless are not what you may call "acquaintances" by employing any potential yet we've come an exceptionally good way. I now can bypass and bypass to with my husband devoid of there being any difficult thoughts or words or something. in the adventure that your husband loves you, he gets up for you. stable success to you.

Answer 5

You be very firm with her and TELL her that everything is not your fault. Then HANG UP the phone right then and there and have nothing more or very little to do with her again.

Answer 6

tell her to mind her own business that is your marrieage you too need to work everything out by yourselfs, but just to let you know it's your inlaws job to make your life a living hell.

Answer 7

Its none of your mother inlaws concern dont let it get to u.Deal with your own problems and keep her out of it.

Answer 8

Are you not an ADULT. Sounds like you need to have a talk with your HUSBAND.

Answer 9

never mind