My fiance and I are planning to create a child within the next few months to come. However, I wanted to get some opinions from everyone as to if they truly are happy having a child, or if they wish they had waited longer? I've had a lot of friends who have had children early in life and always complain that although they love their child with all their heart, they wished they had waited; or they say they weren't fully aware of how much of a full-time responsibility it was to have a child.
I don't care how old you are or when you had your baby - are you happy you had a child/children when you did? If you could go back and change your decision, would you? Why or why not?
2007-01-31 01:43:31 · 12 answers · asked by forever.devoted 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I never wanted kids. Pregnancy came as a big shock to me (aged 29). Besides that, my husband could not face up to the responsibility, and left soon after the birth of my son. But I have never in my life been this happy! My son just turned 1, and this was the best year of my life. Not even divorce or bereavement could get me down, because my little guy is keeping me busy and laughing. I was very anti-baby, but now know the cliches are true. You can't describe the feeling that comes with being a mom. It changes everything inside you, and I would not change it for the world! Good luck to you guys!
2007-01-31 06:58:48 · answer #1 · answered by sins 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very happy with having my child when I did. He has brought so much joy to his daddy and mine's life. I do love him with all of my heart and although he was a surprise I would never take any of it back. I do believe that things happen for a reason and it was God's plan to have him enter our lives when he did. Although there are things I still want to do it doesn't make me wish I would have waited, to me it just means I have a beautiful baby boy that I can have help me share all of my new experiences. When I was pregnant I had some doubts about if I would maybe show some kind of resentment towards him because of him coming at an unplanned time, but as my pregnancy progressed and I started to feel his little kicks I knew that he was going to be the best thing in my life. He is now 14 months old and I love him with all of my heart. He has taught me so many things already about life and love and I am very grateful to have such a wonderful baby boy. So yes I am truly happy to have had my child when I did.
2007-01-31 04:12:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 25 and we're on our third (4th pg..lost the last pregnancy) and last. I had my first when I was 18 turning 19. I managed to finish an undergrad degree while having my kids, albeit, it wasn't the undergrad degree I wanted! But, when I go back to school I'll sort that out.
Sometimes I'm quite happy that I did it this way, other times I'm more frustrated and likely to give a different answer. Realistically, though, I'm glad I've gotten the childbearing portion of my life done up-front. Here's why--the big payoff comes later. My children will be effectively "grown" when I'm in my 30's/early 40's. So, if I want a career, though it is a later start, I can devote myself to it without all the guilt of trying to do it w/ a family that needs a big portion of my attention, too. I'll (hopefully) be young enough to enjoy grandkids when they are born. It also gives me a shot at actually still being alive when great-grandchildren come into the world.
If I had waited, yes, I would've had more freedom up-front, BUT, I would've needed to put a career on hold and, depending on just how long I waited, it might have meant dealing with infertility. Also, I would be much older when my kids where ready to leave the nest (possibly even hitting close to my retirement years...making the funding college trickier).
So, when I look at it from a more long-term perspective, I'm quite happy with my decision. Short-term, there are some struggles, but long-term benefits outweigh them (at least for me).
Besides, I don't care what age you are. Staying at home all the time can be monotanous, no matter how much you love your kids. There aren't a lot of other adults to be with and a steady diet of Chutes and Ladders, Noggin TV and 6 year old level conversation....while interesting...does get old at times. Parenting while working is also frustrating because of the pull to be home. As a mom of young kids you're always going to be pulled in two directions at once (home vs. work, home vs. school, etc). It happens no matter what age you happen to be.
It is worth it, though. At least to me, it is worth it. I've grown and changed a lot as a person through the rearing of my own children. Parenting is full of unique lessons and joys. I recommend it--just know it isn't always a picnic and try to keep as balanced an attitude as possible. You'll be fine :-)
2007-01-31 02:55:17 · answer #3 · answered by Charlie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very happy that I had a child she is the best thing that ever happened to me! I had her when I was 19 I was young and it was rough for a while but you get used to it. It can be very stressful at times but it's all worth it. I wouldn't change it for anything. Kids are great they can make you smile even when you are having a bad day. Seeing my daughter happy, laughing and smiling is the thing I look forward to everyday. It's great. It's a good feeling to know that you were a part of making something so beautiful and precious.
2007-01-31 03:05:29 · answer #4 · answered by lem 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I decided that I was going to start my family at 25. Well, I didn't get married til 26 and our first child was at 28. We weren't going to have one then but he just came along. We weren't ready but I don't think you ever are. We are grateful we started when we did because we are now 35 with 4 kids and glad to have had them all when we did. I only wish that I hadn've been ready to marry at 22 and started my family younger. I feel way old now and I'm not the oldest mum I know. Have them young I reckon.
2007-01-31 02:01:16 · answer #5 · answered by nangari 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to say my life wasn't half as good as it is now that I have kids! I am 20 and there is nothing better to me than looking into my baby girl's eyes and her smiling at me, to me that makes me happier than a lot of people will ever be in life. I know many many single people that grew old alone and unhappy without a family, and it is sad, who doesn't want someone to share their life with. I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I wouldn't be happier without kids. I think some people are just generally dissatisfied with their lives overall, not because they did or because they didn't have kids. I think if you actually enjoy yourself with your children they make life just that much more perfect but if you drag it on like it is some huge responsibility and only that then I think you will be unhappy with it. I don't really think of it as a responsibility even though it is, I have fun and play with my daughter and my family, it brings such great joy to life. And I don't think that people that don't have children ever feel love on the same level as people with kids do. I don't think you can really tell that, some people just don't love their lives, and some people do. EDIT: I didn't allow myself to loose who I am because I had a child, people think it is this thing that sucks the life out of you, you shouldn't be having children then. I cherish every moment of time with my daughter and can't wait for my next in 4 more months. I am still the same person I still love my life, I still travel and hike and just hang out, my life is PERFECT to me
2016-03-28 22:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have one child, a daughter, grown up, and she is the best part of my life! There is nothing I would not endure to see that she is happy! I just wish that you were going to be bringing a child into a marriage as it simply makes for the whole perfect picture. I wish you luck, either way!
2007-01-31 02:16:00 · answer #7 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had my 1st at 18 my 2nd at 21 and my 3rd at 22 and i couldn't be happier in my opinion when my kids have grown up i will still be young enough to do things with my life, when my oldest is 18 i will only be 36 and by that time me and my other half will be able afford to do things like enjoy holidays with just the 2 of us and go out just the 2 of us so yea I vote have them young :P
2007-01-31 02:06:43 · answer #8 · answered by Angie B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HAPPY?...Estatic, I had my first child at 21, and my second at 24, and at 27 had my third one, and I will tell you I am happy with every one of them. Being younger mom had its benefits, I had more energy, I could get by on less sleep and actually maybe function 1/2 way..LOL.
But, being older with my last pregnancy, I don't get as easily frazzled. It seems to me I have a lot more patience when dealing with fits, and the like.
But, all in all I am very glad I had my kids when I did.
2007-01-31 04:01:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was 32 when I gave birth to my baby. She is the best thing that has ever happed to me. I had my fun going out clubbing with my friends in my 20's, met a wonderful man, got married and traveled the world with him, for 5 years, and then got pregnant according to our carefully timed plan.
I love my life and most of all I love my baby! No regrets here!
2007-01-31 02:50:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋