I am going to a family wedding soon (the couple are in early 40's) and they have asked for money towards their honeymoon. I don't much like this approach but, as they already have their home and have lived together a while, I wondered what others thought. They have already paid for the honeymoon which is in the Carribean.
2007-01-30 21:35:07 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think this is ok - as it the y probably have everything they needs for the home which is the traditional reason for the gifts.
If I were you I would give them money in the currency of the country they are visiting. (I'll admit my ignorance of not knowing what currnecy they use in the carribean!) Even if it's all inclusive there will still be souveniours and stuff that they will want to buy.
2007-01-30 21:44:05 · answer #1 · answered by board-stupid 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
NO NO NO NO NO .........very rude. In the case of the wedding you are going to I think most guests would have been sensible enough to have given money or vouchers in any case. Think it different if someone gives money and the couple tell you what they have decided to do with it as in put towards a honeymoon or whatever. Also it is impossible to know everyone's financial circumstances, it isn't always the people that seem flush that are. Perhaps it had been the intention of some guests to put their gift on a Credit Card. Also if their honeymoon is paid why are they wanting money towards it? Only exception would be if in nice wording guests were told that since they had a home etc well furnished they really did not require gifts but there would be perhaps a box sitting at the reception if anyone wished to give an annon donaton which would go towards a certain charity. I have family being married this year and they have a beautfiul furnished home and I am sure money would come in very useful for getting their garden and garden furniture organised but they would never dream of asking
2007-01-31 01:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can't ask for anything. No one is obligated to get you a gift. The only exception is for your shower, you could have a theme like lawn care or summer, and perhaps your guests would go together to bring you closer to getting a lawn mower. You could also set up a registry with items at various price points that you don't hate, and for the ones you won't use, make sure the store will take it back and you can use the cash that way. If you set up a registry at Wal-Mart or Sears, you could possibly get your lawn mower or air conditioner there. But you cannot put any mention of gifts in the invitations. It's very rude. Gifts are really not supposed to be the focus of your wedding or marriage. ***It's also not appropriate to put the slip of paper about "registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond" in the invitation anyway. You can let people know by word of mouth through your families and wedding party.
2016-03-28 22:01:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
These days lots of couples are already living together before they married so it becoming more acceptable to ask for money as a wedding present. Usually the bride and groom set up a 'wishing well' at the reception for the guests to drop money into. The best way to go about this is to ask everyone to put the money in an envelope with no names-that way people don't feel embarrassed about how little or how much they could spare. It's a great idea and you should embrace it- what you rather have some spare cash towards your honeymoon and repairs to your house or 3 toasters and an ugly ornament?
2007-01-30 21:43:20 · answer #4 · answered by danie_190805 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
We're in the almost the same situation...mid 30's and having our 2nd wedding.
To ask for monetary gifts towards the Honeymoon is becoming more frequent (and appropriate) of a thing. I've seen how some travel agencies now have these little cards to include in your invitations that work the same as what a gift registry would. Guests can send the card along w/thier gift contribution directly to the travel agent. Before the wedding,you receive a card that letsyou know who had made contributions, but it doesnt give the amts, just one total.
Although they have already paid for their trip to where the travel agent cards wouldn't apply in this situation, why not give your monetary gift in the form of either travelers checks or a gift card?
If you find out what area they are traveling to, you may be able to locate a local restaruant or spa center (something of interest) that if they have a web site you can purchase certificates or cards to that establishment. This at least shows that you put some thought into your gift and didn't just toss a $20 spot in a card. (Plus, you'll know that your gift is really getting used for the Honeymoon as intended)
The bottom line is at least they're being practical. I think it would be a bigger waste for them to have registered at Target....do they REALLY need another coffe pot or set of towels??? Probably not, at least they're asking for something they CAN use and enjoy!
HAVE FUN!
2007-01-30 22:38:12 · answer #5 · answered by secret_oktober_girl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally think its really tacky of people to dictate what their guests do with their time and money, and also to mention gifts on wedding invitations because it makes it look like they are expecting presents, which FYI, nobody has to get the couple anything, and couples should be highly grateful for whatever they get, whether its their 10th toaster or $50! Also, couples who do that are soliciting gifts instead of inviting people to join in the celebration of their marriage, simply awful! Just because you already have everything cuz you live together still doesn't give you the right to tell people what to buy, and as I said, its really tacky and I wouldn't dream of doing that! It is becoming more common practice, and I think thats a shame, whatever happened to manners?
2007-01-31 02:04:32 · answer #6 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's tacky that they would ask their guests for money. It's a wedding, not a fundraiser. If people want to give money, how nice, but to ask is rude. Especially if they can afford a home wedding and honeymoon, now they want your hard earned cash? Gross. Give them a gift card to a home improvement store in the amount you want to spend.
2007-01-31 03:13:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a difficult one, but as so many people get married once they already have a home and all the bits and bobs for that home it is much harder to make up a traditional wedding list, so I understand why they would ask for money. However, it does rather feel mercenary and impersonal. I suppose it is becoming accepted practice, but it is a bit of a shame.
2007-01-30 21:45:40 · answer #8 · answered by peggy*moo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the person buying a gift is the one that decides. Sounds kind of ridiculous to me, expecting anything really. After all, they have lived as man and wife and now want money for doing that. I would buy them a simple gift and card and forget it. Sounds like they are a mooch. Honeymoon!! they been on one already, do not sweat it.
2007-01-30 21:45:37 · answer #9 · answered by m c 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
to be honest, I think it is rude to expect gifts at all let alone money, when we got married I told people that we were not asking for gifts, we told them they could buy gifts if they wanted to but it was not necessary and that they could also use the money to donate to a charity of there choice instead. Don't get me wrong, we are not rich or anything, we had a very modest wedding but just felt it was cheeky and rude to expect people to give us presents and gifts because of the occasion. I don't expect things for birthdays and christmas so why should a wedding be any different? We were just grateful that our friends and family could come and spend our special day with us, and that was gift enough.
2007-01-30 21:44:25 · answer #10 · answered by Blackheath rugby wife 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋